Eckhart Tolle famously quipped, “It is impossible for anyone to act beyond their current level of consciousness.” Like a clock wound to move in a certain direction, people tend to continue down the same path indefinitely, due to their upbringing, personality, and experiences. When that path is wise and wholesome, the process is known as a “virtuous cycle.” On the other hand, when that path is ill-advised or misguided, the process is known as a “vicious cycle.” People entrapped in vicious cycles exhibit no inkling or ability to change, barring some transformative life experience. Like Saul on the road to Damascus, they may reach a point where a compelling, grace-filled experience is the only thing that can alter their life for the better.

This week, I reached out to my friend and Campus Pastor at Garden City Church, Gabriel Rodriguez. Gabriel was born in Caracas, Venezuela, and moved to New Jersey at 9 years old, overstaying a tourist visa on a trip to visit his father. Gabriel’s childhood, ridden with trauma, fear, and bad influences, led him down a delinquent path of drugs, crime, and violence. However, one day, while in a Central Ohio jail, just moments away from being deported and separated from his son, Gabriel said a prayer that would change the course of his life.

The following is the account of a live 3-hour interview conducted in person. I hope you find Gabriel’s story as raw, fascinating, and inspirational as I did. You can find him on Instagram @GabrielN_Rodriguez

[For more, see the complete archive of interviews.]

Tell the people about yourself.

My name is Gabriel Rodriguez. I’m 32 years old. I’m originally from Caracas, Venezuela. Both of my parents are Venezuelan. I came to the US in December of 1999. I have three kids. My oldest, Gabriel Romeo, is 15 years old. My second oldest, David Miguel, is 13 years old. And my youngest, Grace Valerie Joy, is 8 months.

I currently work for CoverMyMeds as an Account Coordinator. There is a process called prior authorization for people trying to get their medication covered by insurance. We are basically the middlemen who make sure the pharmacy, the doctor, and the insurance company are handling their side of the paperwork. I volunteer as the Campus Pastor for my church, Garden City Church. One of my main roles it to offer pastoral support to the youth, young adults, family ministry, and Sunday volunteers.

What was Venezuela like growing up?

The first thing that comes to mind is the weather. We didn’t get snow in Venezuela where I lived. You would never really see people wearing jackets. I remember my mom and dad had a good-sized apartment with four bedrooms, a kitchen, and two restrooms. I believe we lived on the 19^th floor. I remember there was a lot of traffic. I remember traveling in the city to my grandparents’ house, mostly by train. We would also sometimes take the bus.

There was this big plaza in the city. People would just go and sit and there were stores around—people selling churros and ice cream cones. It was a pretty city. Just thinking about the people and the community brings me joy.

How was your family dynamic?

I have very few memories of us all—me, my two brothers, mom, and dad—in the same house or in the same room doing the same activity. During those years, it was normal for my dad to be gone on business trips to the US, Brazil, or other parts of Venezuela. My parents’ relationship was shaky at times. I remember times where they would argue. I think the main reason was money-related. I remember my mom would go out partying or hanging out with friends, and she would leave me at the house by myself and leave my brother at my grandparents’. Eventually, my mom started dating somebody else, and my dad got word of it in the US. At that point, the separation happened, and I believe that’s when my dad decided to stay in New Jersey.

I dealt with a lot of fear when I was little—fear of the dark, fear of being alone, fear of ghosts. My house would get pretty dark and I would not leave my room because I was afraid. I remember being home for hours and hours by myself. We had a chair in the apartment right next to the door. When you got out of the apartment, there was a big hallway with doors to other apartments on the same floor. And I would just in that chair with the door open, crying and looking at the elevator, hoping that my mom would come home. I don’t know if I thought that crying would make her come back sooner, but I just remember this fear of being by myself. 

There were times my mom would drop me off at my grandma’s house, which was her mom’s house. We had like five aunts that lived there—all my mom’s sisters—along with their kids. My brother Israel, who was a year and a half older than me, lived there for a large part of his childhood and basically grew up there. In fact, all of my three brothers grew up at different grandparents’ houses. I was the only one who grew up with my parents. And so I always felt like the outsider when I went to visit my grandma’s house.

I don’t know if they were necessarily treating me like an outsider. Maybe it had to do with how I was acting. I would cry for my mom. I used to pee the bed. So I don’t know if it was what I did that upset them and made me feel like I was rejected. Or if I was rejected from the outset and that made me act the way I did. One good thing I can say about being at my grandma’s house is that I wasn’t alone.

It sounds like you had a really tough childhood.

When you say that, I think of people who had a really tough childhood and mine doesn’t sound so bad. But then I can compare myself to other people who had very good ones, and I think mine wasn’t so great. So I think I’m somewhere in the middle in the sense that it wasn’t a normal childhood, but it also wasn’t the worst childhood either.

Your dad settled in New Jersey, and you eventually went to live with him. How did that happen?

When me and my brother came to the US, it was for vacation. It was like a Christmas gift. We came on December 25, 1999. The plan was to only be here for a month. We were going to spend a week or two in New Jersey, four days in San Francisco, then spend the rest of the time in New Jersey. It was an exciting time. Before the trip, I remember me and Israel sitting on the balcony where my grandma used to live watching airplanes and dreaming about what it would be like in the US. We didn’t have a picture of America like I feel other nationalities have. I think we just thought about snow. As kids, we were excited to travel in an airplane and see the snow.

Nobody knew this, but in the back of my mind, I was excited to go to the US because I knew I wasn’t going to be alone the whole time. I knew I wouldn’t be left at my house by myself. I knew I wouldn’t be crying for my mom or dad to come. I knew my brother was always going to be there with me. My brother was the guy, if I ever needed anything. There was a release of peace and joy that I didn’t have to be afraid anymore.

We flew by ourselves. I think I was nine and my brother was ten. During the flight, the flight attendants came to us and asked us if we wanted to fly the plane. They brought us into the cabin where the pilots were and they let us sit on the seats next to the pilot. They basically just said, “Don’t touch anything.” It was a really cool experience. The airplane landed in New York but we were staying in New Jersey.

What was it like when you got there? 

My dad was renting a room in a house. The houses in New Jersey were like three floors, and each floor was like a whole ‘nother apartment. There was one queen bed and two twin mattresses on the floor. Sometimes we would hang out in the room or go to the backyard. But usually we went with my dad to the office where he was working. We did touristy stuff. We visited Manhattan. We got on ferries. We made friends. It was a good time. In San Francisco, the streets were like mountains — high and deep and all of that. I remember seeing transgender people for the first time. And then there’s this soup in San Francisco where the bowl is made of bread.

It was time to go back, and in that whole month we never saw snow. Literally, tomorrow we’re going back. And on the forecast, it said it was going to snow on the day that we’re leaving. We came to America to see snow. We’re like “We’re so close. We have to stay tomorrow to see the snow.” So basically we just begged my dad to stay so we can see the snow. The idea was “Okay, you guys can stay. I’ll pay for the fee for missing the flight. And then you guys can go back.”

We saw snow. We liked it. We played with it. I think we went sledding. And we just decided that we liked it in the US and wanted to stay. At this time, my parents were going through a divorce. In the back of my mind—and I didn’t tell my brother this—but the thought in the back of my mind was, “I don’t want to go back to Venezuela and be alone.” So my dad said, “Call your mom. And if she’s okay with it, you can stay.” We called our mom and told her “We want to stay here.” My mom was a teacher. She appreciated education. One of the things we told my mom was that the schools were great. I remember telling her that the books and education were free. And my mom was okay with it.

So you guys overstayed your visa.

Yes—we were only supposed to be here for thirty days. But it was probably God’s grace, to be honest. Eventually, my mom came back to the Lord and got serious with God. I didn’t tell you this, but my dad was a pastor in Venezuela before moving to the US. I grew up as a Christian. My mom and dad were Christian. Who knows if us being there would have made it harder for her to come back to the Lord. The pressure of having two kids. The shame, the disappointment, having to hide, having to deal with an emotional child who is now seeing his mom in a new relationship.

Looking back, everything that happened was very unreasonable. For my brother to want to stay in the US to live in one small room when he had a good life back in Venezuela. He loved his family back home. That wasn’t my case. I didn’t have a family back home that I loved. All I had were my brothers and parents, who I never saw. And for my mom to have been able to say, “Yes.” The reason I think it had to be God is because her ending was better. If her ending was worse, then I couldn’t go back and look at all these little things that happened and say, “That was God,” because her ending was worse. But the fact that her ending was better has to make me think that there was a purpose for all these areas that had a question mark, with the question, “Why did this unreasonable thing happen?”

What was your experience like in school?

In New Jerseys the schools are by numbers. They have names, but they also have numbers. So school number three, school number six, etc. I think we went to school three or four our first year. The cool part about New Jersey is that there are so many Spanish people that every single grade is divided into “bilinguals” and “regulars.” The bilingual class is the class they would speak both English and Spanish, but mostly Spanish. So it was mostly for kids who didn’t know English and needed help with that transition. Many of our books were in Spanish, and some were in English. In the regular class, they just spoke English.

There was always bullying from the regular students to the bilingual students. They always felt better than us. So I experienced a good amount of bullying. They got it back from me eventually, but it affected me for sure. You feel the rejection. You feel less than. You feel like you didn’t receive the same treatment as everybody else. And you eventually start looking down on yourself.

I moved to Ohio when I was 15. During my 6 years in New Jersey, I didn’t learn any English. None. Zero. I don’t know how I ever passed the part in English—they probably just didn’t want to fail me, but there was enough in Spanish that I could get by. I had no structure of studying or doing homework. I think I remember studying one time my entire childhood. I remember failing spelling test after spelling test after spelling test, but they still passed me. And then I failed 6^th grade. After I failed 6^th grade, I was hurt that my friends moved on and I got left behind, but I had no distractions. I was so motivated I made the honor roll. It was never that I wasn’t smart, but I didn’t have any focus or structure.  

What prompted you to learn English in Ohio?

No one spoke Spanish in Ohio. In New Jersey, everyone spoke Spanish. The stores, the buses, the teachers, the police, the firefighters, little league baseball, soccer— all the kids and all the parents in my world spoke Spanish. So I had to learn English to survive. I would be in the classroom lost, not knowing what they were saying. During the first year, I started dating a girl, and I think it really helped me get more comfortable speaking the language. By my second year in Ohio, people were telling me my English was getting better and I was losing my accent.

Back to New Jersey. I know you started getting into trouble from a young age.

I was probably 12 or 13 in New Jersey. Like I said, between bilingual and regulars, there was always that bullying, that tension. Here and there, there would be fights between these two groups. Even if they weren’t part of an organized group, you would know it was a bilingual fighting somebody from a regular class.

Eventually, we got this guy who was new at the school. His name was Frank. He was short and stocky. On the first day of school, he came wearing a yellow shit, and on top of it was a green shirt, with a bandana. He was a bilingual, so he was a part of our group. He heard that someone from the regular class was making fun of his clothing. Frank said, “Okay, we’re going to fight after school.” We had never seen this. It was just so unusual for us. We were like, “This dude is crazy.”

And so we all meet up after school, and they got into a fight and Frank beat him up. That was cool, because it was like a good record for the bilingual class. And Frank was loyal. Frank was going to stick with his people that he started with. So after a while, he started becoming very popular because he would fight anybody, and he was a good fighter. So he started gaining respect, and people wanted to be a part of his group. So basically from the first day of Frank’s class, he taught us that you need to gain people’s respect by fighting.

And from that day on, that was everybody’s response to everything. Our group response was, “You look at me the wrong way, you say the wrong thing, and we’re just going to fight.” And so I learned that respect was based on fear. And so it wasn’t too long after that, we had a small group of people, just a handful of us—my brother, a guy that we call our cousin, Frank, and Frank’s older brother. We would just sit outside my friend’s house by the stairs and hang out every day. And one day, we just decided we should make a gang. We were going to put a name on it and be an organized gang. Everybody else was going to know that this was our gang.

Were there specific gang activities you participated in? 

We didn’t do a whole lot, but we went to parties together. We all wore black at times and took pictures. At one point, we started doing graffiti. There was a big gang in West New York. And that big gang was on Street 60. And so the name of the gang was 60^th. Probably everybody in that gang was a regular. But one day we thought, “We’re in a gang. We need to make ourselves noticeable to people.” So me and another friend rode our bikes to the high school. There was like a bridge in the high school from one building to another, and under the bridge everybody hanged out there for lunch. And so me and my boy drove our bicycles over to that bridge, and on that wall where everybody hanged out we wrote Eff 60^th, but like the full word F. And we put the name of our gang on the bottom of that.

By the next day everybody knew there was another gang out there that is dissing this big gang. And that just started fights. Eventually, stuff got crazy, but at the beginning—we were young—it was just fistfights. This was all in New Jersey. And we were anywhere from 13 to 15. Right after we moved to Ohio, literally a couple months later, we started hearing stories about people getting stabbed. Big fights with baseball bats. Guns. Machetes. Crazy stuff started to happen. Drug dealing. 

It sounds like you got out just in the nick of time. What informed the decision to move?

My dad moved us to Ohio because he knew me and my brother were getting into a lot of trouble. Eventually, we started drinking, getting into more fights, etc. The Ohio option came because my brother used to go visit there. He fell in love with some girl, and he told my dad that Ohio was great. Based on all the trouble we were getting into in New Jersey, my dad said, “We should probably move to Ohio, and take these kids out of this crazy place, because they’re either going to go to jail or end up dead.”

He was right. We probably would have been dead or in jail. I think I eventually would have killed someone or they would have killed me. Not because I was a big dawg, but just because of that environment and the pressure of just being there.

Did things get better in Ohio?

No, they didn’t. A lot of my main crew, like Frank, came to move with me. Frank’s dad lived in Ohio. When my people found out we were moving, they decided to move, too. And other friends from New Jersey would visit. In New Jersey, I would walk six blocks down to my friend’s house and party every weekend. When we moved to Ohio and Ohio doesn’t have freaking sidewalks, it was like, “Man, this place is crazy!” I automatically thought, “If I’m going to have any fun in Ohio, I need to have a fake ID.” Because, to my understanding, the only fun thing to do was go to clubs. I didn’t know enough people to go to parties or anything like that. So I got a fake ID, and I started hanging out with an older crew.

Car racing was our big thing. And eventually we got into car theft, like taking the whole vehicle. We all owned Hondas or Acuras. I got my first car at 16. We would go steal other Hondas or Acuras to take the parts of the car—rims, seats, engines, transmissions, bumpers. Anything we felt like we wanted to take for our cars. One time I stole an Acura that had leather seats, and I took the leathers seats and put them on my Honda. Another time, I saw a Honda with rims that I liked, so I stole the car and took the rims. We would drive the stolen car to an apartment complex, find an empty garage space, take the rims off, and leave the car. Eventually, they would find the car without the rims.

I would break into cars every week. Steal the radios. Steal the speakers. I was still 16 at the time. I would have a new radio for my car weekly or biweekly. I would change it because I got bored of it or I found a cooler one. I would have 5, 10, 15 radios in my trunk at a time. Everything I didn’t use I would sell—speakers, radios, rims, etc.

What about school? It doesn’t sound like you were an A student.

In high school, I would skip school all the time. Since my dad didn’t know English, I would be the one that had to fill out all the paperwork for the school, and I would put my email and phone number. And so any time the school wanted to contact my dad, they would actually be contacting me. I remember there was a month I literally went to school for two days. So what I did not to fail was fake doctor notes. And I would just make up all the work on my own time.

Somehow, I found a way to pass, but I eventually dropped out. I was 17 or 18. And I continued to live that lifestyle. Partying, drinking, drugs—mostly just weed. I eventually came to realize that the group we were hanging out with in Ohio was big into drugs. By the grace of God, I never got too fully into it even though we had the resources. But my brother did. I’m talking about blocks of cocaine. I remember seeing big blocks of cocaine.

I remember one time we opened a block of cocaine that was branded by the cartel. And the brand that this block of cocaine had was the sign of a lady’s restroom. I remember looking at it and thinking, “Man, I didn’t know that the cartels brand their blocks of cocaine.” I remember looking at big bags of Crystal Meth and me not knowing what they were. They said, “Don’t touch it with your bare hands because it can get you so high it’ll kill you.” And there were these big black bags with pounds and pounds of weed.

Where was your dad during all of this?

I was living with my dad, so I didn’t have to pay rent. My dad was a cool dad, but there was no life structure. There was nobody sitting down with me giving me any life advice about careers, the future, wise decisions. My dad was busy with his own life. He was a salesman. That’s not an easy job. He had his own struggles trying to provide for us. I think he felt bad that we didn’t have a mother who was there to raise us because he mentioned it a few times. 

I met you 13 years ago at a church. You were 18 or 19 at the time. How did you end up at a church of all places?

I hit bottom when my dad had a stroke in 2008. For me, my dad was basically my world. I loved my dad. That’s basically when I became homeless. That’s when I got hooked on weed. Not like an addiction, but just an escape. I started smoking weed every day, literally all day long. We would go to bed high and my friend would literally wake me up with a blunt in his hand. I’m not going to lie, it was amazing. I remember thinking back on that time, “Wow, that was amazing.” He would already smoke half of it and was like, “Here’s your half.”

My dad had to spend many weeks in the hospital and learn how to walk again, talk again, and just do life. I don’t remember if we got kicked out of my dad’s apartment or I thought, “I can’t stay there by myself.” I was still afraid of darkness, afraid of being alone, from my childhood. So I would just crash at people’s houses. At one point, I was living in an attic on Sullivant on the West Side. One weekend, I threw a party at that house, and some money got stolen from the owner of the house, and then I got kicked out. I slept in my car a few times and just crashed at friends’ houses. And then I lost the car, too, because I wasted the money my dad and I had saved up and couldn’t make the payments.

For a time, the mother of my boys let me stay at their place. I don’t remember how long I lived there. I walked everywhere. I didn’t really have a consistent base of food. I was still getting high. I actually got enrolled back in high school. And I started going back to school, but it just wasn’t the same—who I used to be in high school before and who I was now. And so I dropped out again. I dropped out of high school two times. But the second time, I think not having a car was also a factor. I had to walk two miles there and two miles back. And being an illegal immigrant, I realized that it didn’t matter if I finished high school.

You felt that there would be no opportunity, and it didn’t matter whether you made wise decisions or not.

That’s why I was so happy when President Obama came out with the DREAM Act, because I remember I couldn’t even dream. I remember writing a letter to immigration that my lawyer asked me to write when I was applying. I remember telling them that most people dream about taking a vacation once a year. And they will plan it and think about what they want to do. And I was thinking, “I can never dream of taking a vacation, because I can’t even pick the job I want.” As an illegal immigrant, you don’t plan your life. You take what is given to you. So if $15 an hour is all that is given to you, then that’s all you have.

Being undocumented for so long and with the crimes you were involved in, did you ever get in trouble with the law?

With my dad having a stroke, me being homeless and being on drugs every day, I eventually got caught by the police with three warrants. I was in a stolen vehicle with a minor. We were both drunk and high at the time. I was already 18. I think I had weed on us. And I gave the cop a fake name, because I knew I had three warrants. But they found out that I had given them a fake name, which was a whole ‘nother charge.

And so now I’m on my way to jail as an adult. And the first thing I do when I get there is pray. Like I said, my dad was a pastor and I grew up as a Christian. I didn’t have the connection that God and Jesus were the same. Or that Jesus was the Son of God, or anything like that. But I had some understanding that there was a God. One thing about jail is you automatically go into this stage of hopelessness. You’re in the cop car looking out the window, thinking, “Man, I just messed up. I don’t know when I’m going to see the outside world again.” You’re basically at the mercy of the law. You don’t know if your family knows that you’re there and if you’re ever going to be able to contact them. And time goes by very slow in jail.

So I’m in jail and I didn’t know when I was going to get out. On day four, I’m just sitting there and they call my name. Totally unexpected. I don’t know what’s happening with my case. I don’t know when I’m going to court. They call my name and hand me the clothes I had on the day I got arrested. They put me in this other room where people started getting released, and started getting back the possessions they had on them on the day they got arrested.

In the other room, everybody who was American was let out of the room. And they left all the Spanish people in the room. And so we immediately knew. They left all the Spanish people in the room because they were about to deport us. I remember everybody was just laughing, “They’re going to deport us. No big deal. I’ll jump the border as soon as they drop me off.” This whole time I’m thinking, “I came in an airplane. I did not jump a fence. I did not cross the desert. I’m from Venezuela. Mexico is far from Venezuela. And I’m too much of a coward to go through a desert. I’m never going to come back. If I get deported, I’m never going to come back.”

You hadn’t been to Venezuela in ten years, and here you are thinking you’re about to get deported.

I had one son. He was a year old. And I thought to myself, “I’m never going to see my son again.” And in that moment, I decided to pray. And with the weight of repentance, I did this next action. I had a hoodie with a big skeleton and a hat that I had stolen from a car. As a way of me saying, “I’m done with this lifestyle,” I took the hat off and I took the hoodie off, and I threw them on the floor. And I did all of this before praying. I didn’t know the Bible said anything about repenting. This was just an action that came naturally, “I’m done with this lifestyle.”

And I closed my eyes and I prayed. And my prayer was, “God, if you take me out of this place, I will stop trying to sell drugs. And I will be the father you want me to be.” As I was praying, as soon as I opened my eyes, I realized I spoke with someone. This never happened to me in my life. I told you I prayed immediately when I got to jail, but that was the first time that I prayed and I knew that I was talking to God. Like he heard me. Like me talking to you right now—I know you’re hearing me. It was even more real than talking to you. It couldn’t have been more than three minutes, bro. After that prayer, they opened the door, and they called my name: Gabriel Rodriguez!

What was going through your mind in that moment?

Based on the situation, based on the setting, my response should have been fear. I’m the first one to go out with immigration. But instead I just had peace. The officer took me out of the room. And as they’re handing me the belongings and the things I had in my pocket that day, the Sheriff says, “You’re a lucky guy.” I said, “Thank you, sir.” He said, “There’s a Hilliard police officer here to pick you up because you have court.” And so I realized there was a police officer right behind me who was from Hilliard. He wasn’t a Sheriff—he had a blue uniform on.

And the Sheriff asked the Hilliard cop, “Can you wait five more minutes? Immigration is running late.” The Hilliard cop tells the Sheriff, “No, the judge is waiting for him, and I need to take him.” So the cop takes me to Hilliard. I get to Hilliard. My brother and my dad are there. I call my attorney. I’m like, “I got court in Hilliard.” He said, “Tell the judge that you want your case transferred to Columbus. Once your case gets to Columbus, I’ll make sure it gets to a judge-friend of mine, and we’ll take care of it.”

I remember being scared because this dude doesn’t know that I almost got deported. I didn’t know what the judge was going to say. I let the court know I want my case transferred to Columbus, but I still had to appear. The judge asked me two questions: Do you go to school? And Do you work? I said “Yes” to both of them, and they were both a lie. I just dropped out of school a couple months before that and I just lost my job at Donatos because I was in jail for four days. So the judge looks at me after those answers, “What are you doing in my court? Get out of here.”

So hitting rock bottom and having that divine encounter in jail motivated you to make the change. Did your transformation take place instantly or was it a process?

As soon as I got out, I was still homeless. I lost my job. I had no money. I was the only one paying for the apartment where me and my dad were staying. I ended up moving in with my friend, who was a big drug dealer. That’s when I realized just how much drugs we had. Many times I was in rooms where we were counting thousands of dollars. The most I saw at once was $150,000. I was still using drugs, smoking weed, and drinking.

One night I used acid for the first time. During my trip, I found myself in a closet with all the lights off crying. I remember calling my brother telling him how I was feeling. After that trip and all of that, I’m like, “Okay, I need to get back to God.” I started becoming a better dad. My deal with God was “If you take me out of this place, I’ll become a better dad.”

So now I’m praying and asking for help, trying to figure out how to get my life together. I need a job. I need a car. I need to get out of this house because it’s full of drugs. Eventually, God provides a car. There was this guy who owed my dad like $300. He didn’t have the money to pay my dad, but he had a ’92 Ford. My dad was like, “Hey. I got a car. Do you want it?” I’m like “Absolutely! That’s an answered prayer.”

I had a friend who worked at CiCi’s pizza. I called her and she gave me a job. For the house, there was this apartment complex that was getting renewed because it was in a bad area. It had a bad rep to it. And it was giving this special where you get three months of rent for free with $100 deposit. That’s a deal. So we’re like “Okay.” So we thought, “By the fourth month by the time I have to pay rent, I’ll have enough money saved up to pay rent.” But I was working part-time at CiCi’s making $250 a week. It wasn’t enough for rent, just to keep the bills paid.

What happened after the 3-month promotion elapsed?

Things were tight, and so I still tried to hustle some illegal stuff. Illegal stuff never worked for me. One day, I come home from work, and my dad tells me, “Hey, the people from the apartment complex came and said that we owe $1500 worth of rent. They say if we don’t have it by tomorrow, we have three days to move out.”

As I’m getting ready to shower, I prayed, “God, if you take me out of this one, I will…” And I stop. I thought to myself, “God ain’t stupid. That’s the thing you said in jail. God did his part to get you out of jail, but you didn’t do your part. You tried to go back and hustle.”

I showered normally. There wasn’t anything magical about the moment. It wasn’t like jail where I felt like someone heard me. This time, I thought “Whether you take me out of this one or not, I’m going to try you fully.” In my mind, I had tried everything and nothing worked. And if God was not real and this didn’t work, then I’m still going to deal with the consequences of being kicked out. But if God is real and he answers my prayer, then he’s going to take me out of this one.

And so the next day came, and the guy from the apartment complex didn’t come to pick up the money. Three days later, and the guy hasn’t come to pick up the money. A week later, still no guy. A month passed, three months, six months, 12 months—we stayed in that apartment complex for 19 months for free! There weren’t people to do maintenance in the apartment — check the basement, check the air conditioning, stuff like that. But they never sent anyone to pick up the money. By week one after that prayer, I was like, “Okay God, I know you’re real, because this guy never came.”

So after the first week, I was already deciding what it was going to look like to try God fully. And that was, “Stop doing what is bad. Read your Bible. And go to church.” I remember calling my mom and saying, “Mom, I’m making this decision. I’m going to start reading the Bible, but I don’t understand it.” She said, “Don’t worry, I’m going to send you this Bible you can understand.” And then sent me a Spanish Bible with a simple translation. Kind of like the NIV. That was the beginning of me giving my life to God. I remember just praying in my room, telling him, “I’m going to stop drinking. I’m going to stop smoking. I’m going to stop partying and stealing.”

The hardest area for me was sexual. But I remember saying, “If you help me, I’ll do it.” Now I’m thinking, “I’m going to go to church. I’m going to try it fully. I’m going to stop doing all this stupid stuff.” A year or two ago, I had visited Potter’s House with the mother of my kids because my aunt went there. When I went back again, it was the first time where I’ve ever been in a church and felt, “This is home. This is where I need to be.”

How did your relationship with God grow?  

I got more involved in church and started experiencing God for myself. There was this hunger in me to show people that God was real, and it came from reading the Bible. It came from reading the Old Testament. I didn’t start in the New Testament. I started with Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Samuel, Joseph, Ruth, Samson—those stories from the Old Testament that will increase your faith. There was something in me that just believed God for supernatural stuff. And there was something in me that wanted to show people that God was real.

You are a pastor at Garden City Church on the West Side of Columbus. How did you come into that role?

One of the first things I started doing was homeless ministry. I got involved with the Young Adult Ministry at Potter’s House. Then I got involved with the Youth Ministry. Eventually, I became an elder at Potter’s House. I must have been 29 or 30 years old. Then we started a Healing and Deliverance Ministry at Potter’s House, which is insane, because that wasn’t something Potter’s House really leaned into in the past. And we would have people come every Sunday to get demons cast out and prayer for healing. So we did that for about 6-9 months before Covid hit.

By that time, I’m married to my wife Kelcie. During Covid, we felt in our hearts that our friend, Pastor Gerald, needed to start a church. And we basically just told him, “If you ever start a church, we’ll move with you. We’ll go to your church.” In the summer of 2020, Pastor Gerald started Garden City Church. And I preached every Sunday during the first three months. 

Can you talk about your experience at the Dream Center?

In 2021, I started working for the Columbus Dream Center. The mission of the Family Ministry was to provide a space for kids to have lunch, do homework, get tutoring, and have Wi-Fi connection during Covid when the schools closed down. As Assistant Director of that division, part of my role was to provide spiritual insight to the leadership. And so I worked there for a year. And then I worked for Rock City Church for about 6 months with the prison ministry.

Finally, because of working for all these ministries—Potter’s House, Dream Center, Rock City Church—I didn’t have an official position at Garden City right away, because I didn’t know if I was going to stay. I had an offer to be the Young Adult Pastor at Potter’s House. Once I decided I’m going to stay at Garden City and I’m not going to work with these other churches, that’s when we started asking, “What role can Gabriel take at the church?” And that eventually led me to my current role as Campus Pastor, where I support the youth, young adults, family ministry, and church volunteers.

You have two teenage sons. Last year, you became a girl dad. How has being a father changed you?  

I honestly think that my life calling is to be a father. I think that God called me to serve my kids. Being a father is great. If it changed me, it made me more mature. I think about my kids daily. I have a strong desire to help them in life, to succeed in life, to give them everything that wasn’t provided to me, both in knowledge, presence, and material stuff — probably in that order. And also to provide them spiritual insight that wasn’t provided to me. And so I have a strong desire for my kids to know God. I love my kids.

Do you plan to go back to Venezuela to visit?

I don’t know. My mom passed away in October of last year. And I feel like I don’t have anything to go back to Venezuela for. I do have this sense that God has some type of calling on my life to Venezuela, but I don’t know what that is yet.

This is the rapid-fire round. I’m going to ask you several questions in quick succession. You can limit your answers to no more than a few words or sentences.

Favorite hobby?

Video games.

Favorite city?

LA. Second to that, Chicago.

Favorite verse in the Bible?

Man, that changes. I’ll say the first one that my mom gave me. Joshua 1:8-9, which is “Keep this book of the law always on your lips. Meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you everywhere you go.”

Pet peeve?

Bad customer service and people with no common sense.

Hidden talent?

Sadly, I don’t know that I have one. I speak Spanish?

Ideal vacation? 

Los Angeles. Two weeks in Los Angeles or three. At a nice house in front of the beach with my wife and kids. And if I can bring Samson [his Yorkie] that would be cool.

Thing you are most proud of?

Having my kids with me now and all of my accomplishments in life. I shouldn’t be where I’m at in my life.

First word that comes to mind when you see pineapple on a pizza?

Gross.

What would you say to a younger version of yourself?

Believe in Jesus. Give your life to him.

Where do you envision yourself in 5 years?

That is hard for me to answer. It’s hard for me to answer because I’m in a place where I want to do God’s will, and I don’t know what that is right now. I don’t know if that’s with Garden City or if that’s being a pastor somewhere else. I want to do ministry. I want to be able to preach the Word.

Chinese philosopher and strategist Sun Tzu (b. 544 BC) said that “In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity.” While 2020 was marred by catastrophe and inconvenience, the year also spurned growth and innovation. Businesses adapted their policies and products to accommodate an increasingly digitized world, as the work-from-home and stay-at-home models gained traction worldwide. At the individual level, people deprived of social activity and alienated from normal life took up new hobbies and creative pursuits — like cooking, gaming, working out, reading, writing, meditating, learning a language, pickleball, e-commerce and DIY projects — which meaningfully impacted their lives and those of the people around them.

One such lasting legacy came in the form of Vane Vainilla, a local cake shop based in Lima, Peru. Vane Vainilla’s founder and namesake, Vanessa Cisneros, attributes the business’s launch in February of 2021 to the stillness and quiet time of reflection she experienced during the previous year’s lockdown. During its first two years, the start-up has grown considerably, even as Vanessa doubles as a full-time Business Analyst. This week, she eagerly agreed to chat about her passion for baking, foray into the world of entrepreneurship, and plans to take her fledgling company to another level. The following is the account of a live 60-minute interview conducted remotely and translated into English. I trust you will find Vanessa’s answers and curated photos to be candid, insightful, and appetizing. You can follow Vane Vainilla on Instagram for a gallery of past work and future publications @vanevainillacakeshop

[For the complete archive of interviews, click here.]

Tell the people a little about yourself.

My name is Vanessa Cisneros. I’m 28 years old. I live in Lima, which is the capital of Peru, with my family and my cat, Tom. I currently work for a company in the organic farming and sustainability industries. In college, I studied administration with a focus on marketing, and I am responsible for all of our business marketing strategy. A fun fact about me is that I’m a big coffee drinker and I love frequenting coffee shops.  

How did your passion for baking grow?

I learned from conversations with my mom that I used to fashion small cakes with dirt when I was three years old and loved all activities that involved sweets. However, it was my grandmother’s influence that grew my love for baking most of all. When I was on vacation from school, I would stay at my grandmother’s house. My grandmother was always in the kitchen cooking up something delicious. In the evenings she would make flour cookies and cakes. When I was 9 years old, my grandmother taught me how to cook. I believe that experience motivated me to explore my love for the kitchen even further and expand on the things she taught me.

With that goal in mind, I convinced my mom to enroll me in baking classes at a local institute. I was about 12 or 13 at the time. I remember being the only young person in the program because they only let people who had finished high school enroll. However, they made an exception in my case on the condition that an adult accompanied me, and so my mom came along for the ride.

The program was for two years, but I only finished one year because it conflicted with my standard academic and volleyball schedules. In the end, I decided to prioritize those things over my love for baking. However, in that one year I learned a lot and gained enough of a foundation to experiment with various kinds of cakes that we did not get to cover.

What makes a good baker? How does baking differ from other culinary arts? 

I believe there is an inner passion that people who love to bake possess. It is the good feeling you get when you see others happy, and I believe sweets have that effect on people. When people are sad or want to celebrate, they typically like to eat something sweet like chocolate to elevate their mood. Sweets bring joy, and that joy inspires people to bake.

I also think my personality drew me to the art of baking. I’m a really creative person. I love doing unique things. For example, I love making unique cakes that can’t be replicated.

Are you yourself a sweet-tooth?

Absolutely. Two of my favorite desserts are Carrot Cake and Suspiro de Limeña, a famous Peruvian dish. It consists of a creamy, caramel-like pudding.   

You do Pilates and swim multiple times a week. How do you balance your love for sweets with your resolve to be healthy?

I believe life is all about balance. I find balance by exercising and making my consumption of sweets a special occasion. For the last five years, I haven’t consumed sugary drinks or added sugar in any other context. But I give myself the pleasure of enjoying desserts to fulfill the need I have for something sweet in my life.

When did you start Vane Vanilla?

It was a year after the pandemic, in February of 2021. Prior to then, I would only make sweets for my family and friends. I always wanted to have a small business, but I didn’t know how to do it, and I didn’t have much time to invest because I was busy studying and working. However, when the pandemic happened and everything shut down, it gave me a time of stillness at home that brought that old dream in me back to life. That was when I decided to move forward with the idea.  

What does the menu at Vane Vanilla consist of?

Every kind of cake you can imagine. I also do cupcakes and cookies.

How do you acquire business?

I work full-time during the day, so I make time at night to take orders, and I schedule deliveries on the weekend. If a delivery is too urgent for my schedule, then I am unable to fulfill it. However, I do everything in my power to attend to people and their requests. It’s been a couple of years since we started, so I have a network of past customers that will often refer their family members and friends.

I also run Facebook ads that help me advertise the business. I plan to run a campaign in the next few weeks to generate more sales.

Do you plan on growing the business?

Right now Vane Vainilla is a small local business that only accepts on-demand orders. We don’t produce at scale or keep an inventory. Later on the plan is to have a shop where people can pick up pre-made cakes. I also want to expand our digital presence. I am working on getting a website set up to promote the business that might later accept online orders to be picked up locally in Lima.   

What has been your favorite baking experience? 

There is one order I particularly enjoyed because it was super challenging. The customer asked me to make a cake for Mother’s Day. But they wanted the cake to be like a pastel del novio [wedding-style], compact and delicious with dried fruit and raisins. I had just launched Vane Vainilla and run some ads on Facebook. This was one of the first orders I received, and I had never made a cake like this before. I ended up making two, just to be safe in case something went wrong. Luckily, both cakes turned out excellently, and my family and I got to enjoy the “plan b” at home. Overall, it was a fun, memorable experience to do something I had never done before.

What about your biggest baking fail? 

My biggest baking fail happened during a time when we were unusually busy and my mind was distracted. I made some cupcakes with merengue italiano [sweetened egg whites]. The merengue italiano contains egg and so if it isn’t refrigerated it melts. I had the order ready to be delivered but I forgot to put it in the refrigerator. When I got home, I realized that the egg whites had melted one hour before the delivery. I called the customer and let them know the order was going to be delayed because I had to make it afresh. I gifted them some extra cupcakes for the inconvenience and to help hold them over.

In the end, everything turned out okay. The moral of the story is to double-check that everything is in the right place.

This is the rapid-fire round. I’m going to ask you several questions in quick succession. You can limit your answers to no more than a few words or sentences.

Hardest baked good to make? 

Pastel de novio [Peruvian wedding cake] due to the compact texture.  

Favorite non-baked good to eat? 

Lomo saltado [traditional Peruvian stir-fry].

Spirit animal? 

A cat. Cats are independent and highly intelligent.

Ideal weather? 

Rainy and about 12 degrees Celsius [~54 degrees Fahrenheit].

Favorite Peruvian celebrity? 

Mario Vargas Llosa. He is a Nobel-winning Peruvian novelist.

Favorite foreign celebrity? 

Sameer Gadhia, the lead singer of Young the Giant.  

Country you most want to visit? 

Australia.

Dream occupation? 

Fashion designer.

Hidden talent? 

I make hand-made clothing designs.

If you could have one superpower, what would it be? 

To be able to read minds.

Something people don’t know about you? 

I’m an open book, I think they know everything!

Saying or motto you live by? 

If I don’t do it, nobody else will. My actions will ultimate determine where I end up in life. No one else can take them for me.

Where do you envision yourself in the future, both personally and professionally?

Professionally, I’d like to apply the knowledge I’ve learned from my career to transform Vane Vanilla from a local to a national business. I envision myself working for Vane Vainilla as a manager/administrator overseeing a larger operation. Personally, I’d like to travel and tour various countries. I also want to start a family.

Every year I conquer a fear. Last year I went surfing in Makaha and Los Yuyos, and it was the craziest fear I’ve conquered to date. A fear I want to conquer in the future is the fear of working for myself full-time at Vane Vainilla. Let’s hope one day I can make it a reality!

A few days ago, I visited my brother’s condo in downtown Columbus where he had a copy of The Almanack of Naval Ravikant: A Guide to Wealth and Happiness sitting on the coffee table. When we asked him about the book, he described Naval as “one of the wisest people alive,” which is as glowing an endorsement anyone could give an author. I don’t always act on book recommendations, but this week I decided to take my brother up on one of his favorites.

The Almanack of Naval Ravikant is unique in that it addresses both wealth and happiness, two giant themes that are rarely treated concurrently. Naval’s balanced, holistic outlook on life is not what you might expect from a serial entrepreneur whose net worth exceeds $60 million. Money, for Naval, “will solve all your money problems,” but the love of money, he asserts, is an insatiable desire that leads down a path of misery.

Naval says he has a habit of mining books for knowledge and will often not read them from cover to cover. I also learned this skill in college, but I can say that I intently read every word of his almanack. In the process, I typed up a myriad of quotes/excerpts that I thought were worth stashing, which I have consolidated for this article. Below you can find 50+ hand-picked quotes/excerpts that I found inspirational, thought-provoking, or just plain insightful.

Overall, the ~six hours or so I invested in this book were well worth the investment. I recommend you grab a copy and see for yourself what made this work, collated by Eric Jorgenson, the #1 best-seller in numerous categories on Amazon.

50 Insightful Quotes From The Almanack of Naval Ravikant: A Guide to Build Wealth and Happines

Technology democratizes consumption but consolidates production. The best person at anything in the world gets to do it for everyone. 

#1

No one can compete with you on being you. Most of life is a search for who and what needs you the most.

#2

The group of scientists who made real breakthroughs and contributions probably added more to human society, I think, than any other single class of human beings. Not to take away anything from art or politics or engineering or business, but without science, we’d still be scrambling in the dirt, fighting with sticks, and trying to start fires.

#3

Specific knowledge is found much more by pursuing your innate talents, your genuine curiosity, and your passion. It’s not by going to school for whatever is the hottest job. It’s not by going into whatever field investors say is the hottest.

#4

The internet enables any niche interest, as long as you’re the best person at it, to scale out.

#5

Escape competition through authenticity. Basically, when you’re competing with people, it’s because you’re copying them. It’s because you’re trying to do the same thing. But every human is different. Don’t copy.

#6

The most important skill for getting rich is becoming a perpetual learner.

#7

Basic arithmetic and numeracy are way more important in life than doing calculus. Similarly, being able to convey yourself simply using ordinary English words is far more important than being able to write poetry, having an extensive vocabulary, or speaking 7 different languages. Knowing how to be more persuasive when speaking is far more important than being an expert digital marketer or click optimizer. Foundations are key.

#8

Intentions don’t matter, actions do. That’s why being ethical is hard. 

#9

The reason I say this is not to make some glib comment about how 99% of your life is wasted and only 1% is useful. I say this because you should be very thoughtful and realize in most things — relationships, work, even in learning — what you’re trying to do is find the thing you can go all-in on to earn compound interest. When you’re dating, the instance you know this relationship is not going to be the one that leads to marriage, you should probably move on. When you’re studying something, like a geography or history class, and you realize you’re never going to use the information, drop the class. It’s a waste of your time. It’s a waste of your brain energy. I’m not saying don’t do the 99% because it’s very hard to identify what the 1% is. What I’m saying is when you find the 1% of your discipline, which will not be wasted, which you will be able to invest in for the rest of your life and has meaning to you, go all-in, and forget about the rest.

#10

Accountability is a double-edged thing. It allows you to take credit when things go well and to bear the brunt of the failure when things go badly.

#11

We live in an age of infinite leverage, and the economic rewards for genuine intellectual curiosity have never been higher. Following your genuine intellectual curiosity is a better foundation for a career than following whatever is making money right now.

#12

If it entertains you now but will bore you some day, it’s a distraction. Keep looking. 

#13

I only really want to do things for their own sake. That is one definition of art. Whether it’s business, exercise, romance, friendship — whatever. I think the meaning of life is to do things for their own sake. Ironically, when you do things for their own sake, you create your best work. 

#14

You get rewarded by society for giving it what it wants and doesn’t know how to get it elsewhere. 

#15

There are three broad classes of leverage. One form of leverage is labor — other humans working for you. It is the oldest form of leverage and actually not a great one in the modern world. I would argue this is the worst form of leverage that you could possibly use. Managing other people is incredibly messy. It requires tremendous leadership skills. You’re one short hop from a mutiny or getting eaten or torn apart by the mob.

#16

The final form of leverage is brand new, the most democratic form. It is products with no marginal cost of replication. This includes books, media, movies, and code… Now you can multiply your efforts without involving other humans and without needing money from other humans… This newest form of leverage is where all the new fortunes are made.

#17

Humans evolved in societies where there was no leverage… If I was chopping wood or carrying water for you, you knew that 8 hours put in would equal 8 hours of output… With a leveraged worker, judgment is far more important than how much time they put in or how hard they work. 

#18

If you have specific knowledge, you have accountability, and you have leverage, they have to pay you what you’re worth. If they pay you what you’re worth, then you can get your time back. You can be hyper-efficient. You’re not doing meetings for meetings’ sake. You’re not trying to impress other people. You’re not writing things down to make it look like you did work. All you care about is the actual work itself.

#19

No one is going to value you more than you value yourself. 

#20

Wealth creation is an evolutionarily recent positive-sum game. Status is an old zero-sum game. Those attacking wealth creation are often just seeking status. . . They’re playing a different game, and it’s a worst game. It’s a zero-sum game instead of a positive-sum game. 

#21

The problem is to win at a status game, you have to put somebody else down. That’s why you should avoid status games. They make you into an angry, combative person. You’re always fighting to put other people down, to put yourself and the people you like up. 

#22

Retirement is when you stop sacrificing today for an imaginary tomorrow. When today’s complete, in and of itself, you’re retired. . . Well, one way is to have so much money saved that your passive income, without you lifting a finger, covers your burn rate. A second is you just drive your burn rate down to zero. You become a monk. A third is you’re doing something you love. You enjoy it so much, it’s not about the money.

#23

Art is creativity. Art is anything done for its own sake. What are the things that are done for their own sake and there’s nothing behind them? Loving somebody, creating something, playing. To me, creating businesses is play. I create busineses because it’s fun, because I’m into the product… It makes money almost a side-effect… My motivation has shifted from being goal-oriented to being artistic. Ironically, I think I’m much better at it now. 

#24

The punishment for the love of money is delivered at the same time as the money. As you make money, you just want even more, and you become paranoid and fearful of losing what you do have… I think the best way to stay away from this constant love of money is to not upgrade your lifestyle as you make money.

#25

To summarize the fourth type [of luck], build your character in a certain way, then your character becomes your destiny. 

#26

Trying to build business relationships (networking) well in advance of doing business businesses is a complete waste of time. 

#27

Sharks eat well, but live a life surrounded by sharks. 

#28

Your only failures are written within your psyche and they are obvious to you. If you have too many of these moral shortcomings, you will not respect yourself. The worst outcome in this world is not having self-esteem. If you don’t love yourself, who will? I think you just have to be very careful about doing things you are fundamentally not going to be proud of, because they will damage you.

#29

I have this saying inside my head: the closer you want to get to me, the better your values have to be. 

#30

The most common bad advice I hear is “You’re too young.” Most of history was built by young people, they just got credit when they were older. The only way to truly learn something is by doing it. Yes, listen to guidance, but don’t wait.

#31

Your real resume is just a catalog of all your suffering… Anything you’re given doesn’t matter. You have to do hard things to create your own meaning in life. 

#32

Most of the time, the person you have to become to make money is a high-anxiety, high-stress, hard-working, competitive person. When you have done that for 20, 30, 40, 50 years and you suddenly make money, you can’t turn it off. You’ve trained yourself to be a high-anxiety person. Then you have to learn how to be happy. 

#33

My definition of wisdom is knowing the long-term consequences of your actions. Wisdom applied to external problems is judgment. 

#34

You can only make progress when you’re starting with the truth. The hard thing is seeing the truth. To see the truth, you have to get your ego out the way because your ego doesn’t want to see the truth.

#35

What you feel tells you nothing about the facts. It merely tells you something about your estimate of the facts. 

#36

It’s only after you’re bored, you have the great ideas. 

#37

Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are. 

#38

If all your beliefs line up into neat little bundles, you should be highly suspicious. 

#39

“Praise specifically, criticize generally” [quoting Warren Buffet]. Then people’s egos and identities don’t work against you. They work for you.

#40

Charisma is the ability to project love and confidence at the same time. 

#41

“If you want it done, then go. If not, then send” [quoting Julius Caesar]. When you are the principal, you are the owner. You care and will do a great job. When you are the agent and you are doing it on somebody else’s behalf, you can do a bad job. You just don’t care. You optimize for yourself rather than the principal’s assets… The more closely you can tie someone’s compensation to the exact value they’re creating, the more you turn them into a principal, and the less you turn them into an agent. 

#42

If you can’t decide, the answer is no. 

#43

Pointing out obvious exceptions implies either the target isn’t smart or you aren’t. 

#44

It’s not about educated versus uneducated. It’s about “likes to read” and “doesn’t like to read.”

#45

[Question to Naval] “What can I do for the next 60 days to become a clearer, more independent thinker?” Read the greats in math, science, and philosophy. Ignore your contemporaries and news. Avoid tribal identification. Put truth above social approval. 

#46

The fewer desires I can have, the more I can accept the current state of things, the less my mind is moving— because the mind really exists in motion toward the future or the past — the more present I am, the happier and more content I will be.

#47

Happiness is what there is when you remove the sense that something is missing in your life. 

#48

Happiness, love, and passion aren’t things you find; they’re choices you make. 

#49

Desire is a contract that you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want. Every desire is a chosen unhappiness. 

#50

Today, the way we think you get peace is by resolving all your external problems, but there are unlimited external problems. The only way to actually get peace on the inside is giving up this idea of problems.

#51

The enemy of peace of mind is expectations drilled into you by society and other people.

#52

At the end of the day, you are a combination of your habits and the people you spend the most time with. 

#53

You don’t make any decisions if you don’t judge anything. You just accept everything. If I do that for ten or fifteen minutes while walking around, I end up in a very peaceful, grateful state. 

#54

Hiking is walking meditation. Journaling is writing meditation. Praying is gratitude meditation. Showering is accidental meditation. Sitting quietly is direct meditation. 

#55

Courage isn’t charging into a machine-gun nest. Courage is not caring what other people think. 

#56

Inspiration is perishable. Act on it immediately.

#57

This week, a number of stunning country-border photos made their rounds on Facebook and other social media. In this article, I’ve aggregated a number of the most thought-provoking/breath-taking ones that I could come across. All these images qualify to be circulated under the Creative Commons License. Feel free to share some of your favorites not included here, and if they are public domain I will update the post accordingly.

Territorial sovereignty is a foundational principle of the current international state system. Many scholars attribute this evolution to the Peace of Westphalia, a treaty signed in 1630 by numerous European powers that ended decades of armed conflict. The treaty provided that countries would respect borders and not interfere in the domestic affairs of their neighbors.

USA & Mexico Border

The USA side is on the left; the Mexican side on the right.

South Korea & North Korea Border

Israel, Syria, Jordan Border

Portugal & Spain Border

Guadiana International Bridge; Spain is on the left; Portugal is on the right.

Germany & France Border

View from Offenburg, Germany, with the French Vosges mountains (Mont Donon) in the background.

Myanmar, Thailand, Laos Border

Sweden & Norway Border

Not sure which side belongs to whom, nor do I think they care.

Bulgaria & Turkey Border

USA & Canada Border

Pakistan & India Border

A view of India from the Pakistani side.

Senegal & Gambia Border

The author did not specify which side belongs to which country, but maybe you can tell by some of the clues in the photo?

Guatemala and Mexico

Per Wikipedia: “Border between Guatemala (left) and Mexico (right), in Lagunas de Montebello National Park, delineated by cleared trees and a white border marker. “

Today, I’m pleased to announce the release of my typing manual (~5k words) Be More Productive: Save 30 Minutes a Day by Learning The Art of Typing. You can purchase the Kindle edition on Amazon for $2.99! Check out the Table of Contents and Book Description down below!

Be More Productive: Save 30 Minutes a Day by Learning The Art of Typing Book Description:

Every age differs in its ability to store, create, and transmit information. Today, we are living in the computer age. The diffusion of digital technology has made it easier than ever to fulfill the basic communicative tasks on which civilization depends. In keeping with this evolution, demand for typing skills has risen exponentially during the last 20 years. Whereas typing was once a luxury, it is now a basic life skill that all modern people have an interest in developing.  

As someone who progressed from typing 30 words per minute (wpm) to 150+ wpm, I have witnessed firsthand how a faster typing speed can improve the quality of life. Faster typists save time, work efficiently, and deliver on their creative and intellectual potential. Indeed, the skill of typing is an especially tremendous asset for students, writers, programmers, translators, white collar workers, and people who otherwise spend a substantial amount of time online.   

Average typists with a median lifestyle can expect to double their typing speed and save 30 minutes per day by following the simple guidance of this short book. Thirty minutes a day, every day for a decade, amounts to a grand average of 1,825 hours. Multiply that by four, and the sum is 7,300 hours of time savings in a generation.

Whether you stand to gain more or less than 30 minutes per day by increasing your typing speed, this easy read, which will take about a half hour to knock out in its own right, is well worth the investment. And, as I will elaborate, the benefits of speedier typing go far beyond time.

New journal for idea-taking is out! The journal [6″ by 9″ +120 pages] is complete with 60 inspirational quotes, the great majority of which are original. Check out a sample page and the full description below. You purchase on Amazon for just $8.99.

Creative Journal Description:

Creative ideas are like dreams. If we do not write them down, they can get lost forever. There is a saying, “Better is a short pencil than a long memory.” Human memory, for all its wonders, is fragile in comparison with the written word.

In contrast, the written word can capture information precisely and effortlessly for generations. The printing press, which enabled the written word to proliferate, spurred rapid technological progress and is routinely cited as a catalyst of the Enlightenment. Indeed, the written word is largely to credit for the advanced technology and high standard of living enjoyed by billions of people today worldwide.

Artists, writers, thinkers, inventors, entrepreneurs—and anyone interested in personal growth or content creation—stand to gain by keeping a journal of their ideas. This habit not only guards against forgetfulness but also provides a framework to elaborate and refine. Gems of knowledge come from many sources: pithy quotes, sharp observations, and thought-provoking questions from others are equally worth preserving.

A printed journal offers the rare chance to step away from digital distractions and think with clarity. This one, complete with sixty inspirational reflections from myself and others, is designed as a blank canvas for your thoughts. Created by a writer for fellow creatives, it is meant to inspire, preserve, and nurture ideas that are worth remembering.

Today, I’m excited to announce the release of my new book, The Art of Learning a Foreign Language: 25 Things I Wish They Told Me, now available on Amazon in Kindle and paperback formats! Check out the Table of Contents, Book Description, Excerpts, and Author Bio below! You can also listen to a professional narration of the book on Audible. (See El Arte de Aprender un Idioma Extranjero for the Spanish version.)

The Art of Learning a Foreign Language Book Description:

Language is the gateway to culture and the riches of humanity thereof. It affords access to people, history, ideas, art, religion, aesthetics, and economic opportunities. Language also exerts a transformative effect on the vessel through whom it is expressed. Charlemagne is reported to have said that “To speak another language is to possess another soul.”

The Art of Learning a Foreign Language consists of all the things I wish I knew at various stages of my language learning journey during the last 15 years—as a hobbyist, student, academic, and professional linguist. This book is designed to help the learner avoid many pitfalls and seize opportunities, with lessons on choosing a target language, travel, accent, immersion, technology, learning approaches, and the lifestyle habits of professional linguists.

Some of the chapters address topics of general interest to the language learner (“nice to know”). Other headings address more crucial issues with potentially vast implications for the language learner (“must know”). Had I known then what I know now, I would have made some different choices, but the beauty of life is that it can be lived in only one direction. 

In sum, with unprecedented language learning resources at our disposal and abundant opportunities for cross-cultural connection, today is the most exciting time in history to acquire proficiency in a foreign language. Whatever your motivations for learning a foreign language—or current foreign language level—this digestible read will bring you closer to achieving your goals.

The Art of Learning a Foreign Language Book Excerpts:

From Chapter 2 on “To Learn A Foreign Language Is To Become A Child” 

“Fear of appearing stupid, ignorant, or childish is a nemesis of learning, and language learning is no exception. Frustration is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to be final. It’s always a letdown when a language learner loses motivation, stops engaging in the target language, or abandons the endeavor altogether. It follows that learning how to manage our emotions and take a long view of situations (i.e., “respect the process”) is critical to weathering the storms of acquiring a new skill. Like a baby learning how to walk, we deserve credit for every milestone we attain and for mustering the courage to confront the unknown.”

From Chapter 4 on “Studying Grammar and Looking up Words You Don’t Know Improves Your Language Skills Exponentially” 

“Every dictionary entry or grammar rule worth its salt is complete with example sentences. Example sentences reinforce, contextualize, and activate; they inspire confidence, as per above, and keep the learner from making silly mistakes. In addition to example sentences, this chapter is premised on abundant exposure to the target language via reading, listening, speaking, and writing. Indeed, these activities are what prompt most word look-ups and grammar consultations. It follows that the more language input we feed ourselves with, and the more language output we generate, the more relevant the question becomes of whether to look things up.” 

From Chapter 5 on “Avoid Burnout by Making Friends in the Target Language and Engaging in Passive Language Activities” 

“Burnout is also why passive language learning activities can sometimes be very beneficial. For example, relaxing to a song, movie, book, or conversation in a target language without looking up any words or preoccupying the mind with linguistic minutiae. In these moments, learners can focus on mastering what they already know. As for the unknown, they can draw inferences based solely on context without racking their brains. Passive language activities are doubly productive when learners have acquired a solid language base, without which their ability to rehearse, refine, and infer is constrained.” 

From Chapter 6 on “Your Native Language Ability Influences Your Potential In A Foreign Language” 

“Worldly knowledge, reasoning ability, and linguistic creativity quickly convert into a target language as soon as they are given a vehicle for expression. A 24-year-old, for example, who traveled, went to college, and and gained life experience has a much higher linguistic ceiling than the 16-year-old version of themselves. While they both start from square one, the one with stronger native language skills is going to progress further and faster.” 

From Chapter 8 on “The More Foreign Languages You Know, The Easier It Is To Learn New Ones” 

“The hardest foreign language you will ever learn is your first one. And the second hardest foreign language you will ever learn is your second one. In other words, language learning gets easier with each subsequent iteration. This phenomenon owes to the fact that languages, especially those belonging to the same family, share a great deal in terms of grammar, syntax, phonetics, and vocabulary. . . Not only are many of the concepts repetitive across languages, but learners become more adept at recognizing patterns, formulating sentences, and memorizing information.” 

Chapter 12 on “Learning A Foreign Language May Change Your Personality” 

“In a foreign language, a lot of social and psychological conditioning gets thrown out the window. First, you begin to interact with people who do not know you outside of the target language. The blank canvas effect here is true of any new people you meet, in general. Second, every language is a world unto itself. It is common to hear people comment on the particularity of an individual’s foreign language skills. “She speaks French well. His Spanish is formal or funny. I want to hear them speak Arabic.” In other words, people expect there to be some differences between the native-language version of yourself and the target-language version. If you want to exaggerate these differences, then more power to you. As the saying in the intro goes, the multiple personalities effect with people who speak more than one language is real but bears none of the oft associated pathology.”

From Chapter 15 on “Atomic Habit #1: Thinking In A Foreign Language” 

“Even this lower new data amounts to a grand average of more than six thoughts per minute, or a thought every ten seconds, which, to my mind, is an incredibly high number. There’s a reason almost all humans are proficient in at least one language. With that much action in between the ears comes a lot of opportunities to improve language skills. . . As linguists and language learners, we can channel our brain’s verbal activity to improve or maintain our language skills, without making any major modifications to our lifestyle or environment.” 

From Chapter 20 on Linguistic “Muscle Memory”

“I have a friend from my graduate school days at The Ohio State University whom we nicknamed Aladdin. Aladdin and I took a number of Arabic classes together. Every now and then, we would play pick-up basketball at the university gym. Aladdin couldn’t shoot, but he was one of the quickest, most intense defenders I have ever seen. One day, he went high up for a layup at 100 mph, bumped a defender, and fell square on his head. Aladdin lay there motionless for a few minutes before gingerly getting up. He had apparently suffered a concussion. We drove him to the ER, before he decided in the reception that he felt okay enough to go home. I’ll never forget, while we were leaving the gym and during the car ride, Aladdin kept asking people to speak Arabic to him. I probably heard the phrase “Speak Arabic to me, Binyamin! [my Arabic name]” at least two dozen times. Aladdin, in his dizzied and confused state, waiting to be seen for a potentially serious injury, was afraid that he had forgotten Arabic. The next day Aladdin texted everyone saying he felt fine. In hindsight, this story is a comical illustration of every language learner’s worst fear: losing the skills they worked so hard to acquire. As it turns out, Aladdin didn’t forget Arabic and currently lives in Dubai. . . 

Chapter 21 on “Having Clear Foreign Language Goals Maximizes Output” 

“If you look around the room you are in right now, you will observe a great diversity of items, shapes, sizes, textures, colors, and functions, with all their associated nuances and subtleties. Every career, hobby, occupation, sport, industry, philosophy, plant, animal, object, event, and sensory experience—visual and otherwise—corresponds to a specific language. Language, in a word, is all-encompassing, and there are numerous registers, dialects, idioms, metaphors, and synonyms that express the same idea in multiple ways. “Mastering” one’s native language is a lifelong pursuit. Mastering a foreign language is an even taller order.” 

Chapter 23 on “Music, Comedy, and Dialogue Test Advanced Listening Proficiency” 

“In addition, to be “in on the joke,” the listener must possess a window into the culture in which it was birthed. Comedians are constantly telling stories that only people who have experienced similar things in life can relate to. Some themes are universal across time and places, whereas others involve local food, sports, traditions, celebrities, holidays, and shared cultural experiences from work, educational, and familial environments. Given that cultural products like these comprise the lion’s share of speech, knowledge of them is as relevant to the language learner as grammar and vocabulary.”

The Art of Learning a Foreign Language Author Bio

My journey with foreign languages began in high school when I was introduced to Latin culture through a friend and purchased a Spanish grammar book from Barnes & Noble. Fast-forward 15 years and I’ve spent a great deal of my life studying foreign languages (10+ years of Arabic and Spanish; 2+ years of Japanese and Latin; and < 1 year of French & German). I’ve lived in the Middle East, Tokyo, and DC, and worked multiple bilingual jobs, including my current one as a linguist in the American Midwest. Aside from being a language nerd, I enjoy blogging, web-making, hiking, and following professional sports.

A theme is one of the most important things about a website. It is the first thing people see and influences people’s perception of the site’s content in a big way. Today I want to share a review of my personal favorite WordPress theme–Apostrophe 2. Apostrophe 2 is a theme by the all-pro developers over at wordpress.com. However, the theme is also available to download for free for use on wordpress.org websites (link). Apostrophe 2 is “a refreshed version of Apostrophe, with more features and added flexibility.” It is a simple, clean, modern, professional-looking theme ideal for blogs and other “magazine-style” websites. As of the date of this post, it works brilliantly on the latest WordPress update.

I’ve looked at hundreds of themes over the years and there are a few things that stand out to me about Apostrophe 2. I believe the desktop view (see cover photo above) has a nice aesthetic and effectively markets a lot of content to users. However, the layout of Apostrophe 2 is also optimized for mobile browsers. Internet usage has been transitioning toward mobile (phones/tablets) for some time. Mobile has now surpassed desktop computers as the most common way people browse the internet (link), and we can only expect this trend to continue. In a word, mobile is going to be the most important layout for a good majority of websites in the future.

As you can see in Figure 1, the mobile category/homepage looks quite good. The layout is space-efficient, and users immediately get a snapshot of several posts, illustrated by the corresponding thumbnail of their featured images. When developers do not shrink the size of featured images for mobile, each post takes up almost the entire screen. That means users have to work harder to see several sample posts before deciding if anything on display is worth their time. On some themes, you can shrink the size of featured images on mobile and make some adjustments to the text with no problems. However, it saves time when theme developers have already optimized it accordingly–and the outcome is generally better. To my mind, not adequately shrinking the featured image of posts on mobile is old-fashioned and sub-optimal, yet themes where the default layout is proportionally smaller are few and far between. .

As you can see in Figure 2, the mobile post page is stylish and gets straight to the point. I have the setting to “display featured images at the top” disabled. The image you see in the screenshot is a custom photo that I added. (I begin every article with a custom photo that takes up 100% of the width in mobile. I will include custom CSS for that tweak down below. On this post, I made an exception and aligned the images to the right for easy reference.) I like it where the user sees the title of the post and a slice of the main image as soon as the page loads. It’s part of the “hook” that can persuade them to keep reading.

As you can see in Figures 1 and Figures 2, next to “Menu” I have a number of custom social icons. The social links menu is disabled for mobile by default, but you can enable it with some simple code. Once you’ve enabled the social links menu on mobile, it orders pretty neatly, as you can see in the screenshots. I created custom classes for each separate social link (easy to do when editing the social links menu in the admin panel) and filled the space for each social link with custom icons that point to specific URLs. (I will include the CSS down below to enable the social links menu on mobile. If you want add custom social icons, as well, let me know as that entails a few more steps.)

In addition to small thumbnails on the homepage/category pages, no-sense post pages, and social links navigation, Apostrophe 2 has a sidebar built in. The sidebar looks great on desktop, and is an opportunity to market featured posts, add quotes, stats, tags, e-mail/music widgets, etc. (see cover photo above). On the mobile, the “sidebar” collapses to the bottom, where it can similarly add a lot of useful information/functionality.

Apostrophe 2 supports site icon (image), site title (big text), and site description (smaller text below site title), as you can see in the screenshots. These blocks are highly customizable, and I like having all three built-in to a theme so that adding/customizing them isn’t a momentous task. (For example, I shrunk the site logo in mobile and increased the text of the site description on desktop using CSS).

No theme is going to perfectly suit anyone’s liking, and you will likely want to make some customizations. I have accumulated a lot of CSS code for this theme myself; however, almost all of these changes have been relatively minor. They say too much CSS can impact page load. If you have to do a lot of major changes to a theme, it may be a good idea to look for another one.

Apostrophe 2 CSS Customizations

The following code will display the social links menu on mobile devices with a width less than 767px (phones and tablets):

/*  display social link on mobile / tablet */

@media (max-width: 767px) {

            .jetpack-social-navigation {

                        display: block;

            }

}

The following code will make images on mobile devices with a width less than 520px (primarily phones) take up the entire width–that way the text doesn’t wrap awkwardly.

/* full width post images on mobile*/

@media screen and (max-width: 520px) {

            .wp-block-image {

                        width: 100%;

            }

            .size-large {

                        width: 100%;

            }

            .entry-content img {

                        width: 100%;

            }

}

Comment below if you have any questions about CSS for this theme, and I’ll see if I can help. One of my Apostrophe 2 sites (that’s right, I have two) is hosted on WordPress.com premium, so I cannot install plugins. However, if you are self-hosted and have access to plugins, you can install something like the “Simple Banner” plugin, which looks quite good with this theme.

Note: One small stylistic issue I ran into. With the default homepage, when you hide certain categories, tags, etc., it still shows a blank “silhouette” for those posts. I couldn’t figure out how to disable it, even with the help of WordPress.com “happiness engineers.” Instead, I created a custom homepage using the “Blog Posts” block. With a little CSS and attention to detail, I got it to imitate the original quite nicely.

Good luck and happy blogging!

The American Midwest is one of four major census regions in the US. It consists of 12 states— including Ohio, Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Minnesota, and the Dakotas—and boasts a population of more than 65 million. Midwestern English, by and large, is considered a “mainstream” variety. It is the closest of all American regional dialects to “General American English” (link). If you turn on the TV, movies, news, or sports media in the US, a disproportionate number of speakers utilize speech patterns derivative of this region.

Columbus, Ohio is the second most populous city in the Midwest and has been growing at a rapid pace. In February of 2020, Amazon, the world’s largest retailer, opened a major distribution center in West Jefferson, the second of its kind in the greater Columbus area. In 2021, Columbus’s housing market was ranked fifth nationally; in 2022, it is projected to finish in the top five in combined home sales and price growth (link). In January of 2022, Intel, the S&P 500 tech giant, announced that it will be building a $20 billion semiconductor computer chip factory in New Albany. President Joe Biden, in his “State Of The Union Address,” on March 1, 2022, described the empty acres of East Columbus as “a field of dreams, the ground on which America’s future will be built” (link).

This week, I reached out to my aunt, Heather Zananiri, to get her two cents on the American Midwest, in general, and Columbus, Ohio, in particular. Mrs. Zananiri was born in Eastern Ohio, and spent stints in several Midwestern states during her childhood. Her family ultimately moved back to Ohio where she settled in the capital city. A former Ohio State student, mother of three, and local suburbanite, Mrs. Zananiri is never at a loss for words. Her perspective and pop-culture savvy shed light, not only on her experiences as a native Ohioan and mother, but on broader cultural and economic trends that have enveloped the region. The following is the account of a live 60-minute interview conducted in person. I trust you will find her answers to be blunt, funny, and insightful.

[For the complete archive of interviews, click here.]

Tell the people a little about yourself.

My name’s Heather. I was born in Dover, Ohio. I am actually from Sherrodsville, which is about 20 miles away, but they don’t really have hospitals in the boonies. I grew up in Ohio, Minnesota, and North Dakota. Growing up, we never stayed in one place longer than two years. I was a military brat, except my parents were in ministry. My dad worked for private Christian schools and would get different business opportunities. He also coached football and wanted to become a college football coach, which is why we moved to North Dakota. When I was in high school, my parents moved back to Ohio, and I’ve lived in Columbus ever since.

I have three kids—Abby, Noah, and Ethan. Abby’s a junior in high school, Noah’s a freshman in college, and Ethan’s in the 8^th grade. Having three teenage kids at once is a special kind of challenge. We just finished Ethan’s registration for high school classes, which was a bit upsetting. He’s supposed to be the baby, and now the baby’s in high school.

I’m an Office Assistant / Attendance Secretary for a local elementary school. That doesn’t sound like a lot, but it’s actually a ton of work, especially during Covid. My position is in charge of tracking all the information for quarantine and contact tracing. It’s slowed down a little to where I now just do attendance, but for a while it was really hard to keep up with everything. Rules for things were constantly changing, and we just had to run with it.

What did you do after high school?

After graduating high school, I went to The Ohio State. Unfortunately, I did not get any scholarships and had to pay for it on my own. I was dating Yousef at the time, and we had a lot of Arab friends we would hang out with every weekend. Working full-time to pay my bills, attending class, and having a social life eventually got the best of me. School got put on the backburner, and I never finished. 

At OSU, I was in between History and English. I’m a huge history buff. I love history and sociology, and was probably going to major in something along those lines. I wanted to become a teacher. It’s ironic now that I work at a school when that used to be my goal.   

What’s the most challenging thing about your job?

The hardest thing is distancing yourself from the job, because you see a lot of things happen in the front office of an elementary school. You want to fix situations with families, or get involved somehow, but you can’t. It’s especially hard because there are kids involved.

What about the most rewarding?

Being around the kids, seeing how excited they are to be at school. Being around younger kids gives you life, because they’re so full of it. I think, especially as we get middle-aged, it’s nice to see that fresh perspective in their eyes.

You got DNA tested a few years ago. Were there any surprises?  

I was 46% Irish. It was absolutely the furthest thing from a surprise, because when they see me, everyone immediately thinks I’m Irish. I knew I had Irish blood, but not quite to that extent. There were some other little surprises in there. I was like 10% Dutch ancestry, and I have no idea where that came from. It was also difficult on my dad’s side. My dad was originally from Kentucky, and they didn’t keep good records back then. However, I’ve been able to trace my mom’s side really far. My mom’s side of the family came to the US several generations ago.

I’m busy now, so I stopped doing the tracing thing, but it was really fun. I think this summer, when I have more time, it might be something I look more into. That is one plus of my job. I don’t have to work during the summers.

What is something people don’t know about Ohio? Has Ohio’s reputation at all evolved in the last decade?

Ohio’s not just corn. There are thriving urban areas that are pretty cool to visit. People don’t realize how cool places like Columbus, Cleveland, and Cincinnati are. I think Ohio is actually becoming a lot more popular, which is kind of crazy to me. I bought a shirt that says “I loved Cleveland before it was cool.” Even a podcast I listen to regularly—True Crime—just announced that they will be having their podcast festival in Columbus.

Growing up in high school, I don’t remember anything like that going on. Columbus was more a college town. Ohio State was the big thing. There wasn’t a whole lot to do outside of that, whereas now we have hockey, soccer, and the Short North. Central Ohio Performing Arts is booming. There is a whole lot more to do downtown than there used to be.

What is one thing about Ohio you would change if you could?

The weather. It’s the worst. In the last week, we’ve literally had sun. We’ve had 60 degrees. We’ve had rain. I do think seasonal depression is a problem in states like Ohio. You get to this time of year and it’s been so gray for so long. It’s depressing. You get a day like today when the sun is out, people lose their minds. It’s like a breath of fresh air. It raises your whole mood. It’s like “Aha! winter is finally over!” The winter in Ohio is nothing compared to Minnesota and North Dakota, but I still think the weather is worse.

When visitors come to town, where do you take them?

Easton. It’s an open air mall, and they’ve grown so much. They have such good food diversity. That’s our thing. When people come, we want to take them to eat somewhere nice. Short North. Just the whole cultural vibe there. I also love taking people to sporting events, especially our professional sports. Not that Ohio State isn’t great, but professional sports are just a different vibe. It’s more of an adult thing. It lets them know that Columbus has a lot of stuff going on for adults. When people come to town, I also like to take them to local distilleries. There are a lot of cool ones in the city, which make for a fun time out.

What are some advantages/disadvantages of living in the suburbs?

As far as advantages, I do feel it’s safer for the kids. They get a more wholesome, typical American family environment. But, on the flip side of that, that can be a negative, too, because you’re almost putting them in a bubble. One hard thing about the suburbs is trying to find a balance of diversity with the people your kids hang out with. The plus side is we are close enough to a city where if we want to go out at night, there is something to do. We’ve also gotten to build a lot of friendships here because you find families of the same age in same area. In a more urban/downtown environment, it’s harder to build a community centered on family.  

You have two kids in high school and one in college. How have things changed as they’ve gotten older?

I think my sweet spot was when Noah was around 7, and Ethan was around 2. I loved those ages. Then they grew up, and so many changes happened. Before you know it, these adults with teenage minds are in your house. They look an adult on the outside, because they’ve physically matured, but they’re still kids on the inside. As they get older, you want to give them more responsibilities, start treating them more like young adults, but they’re still you’re kids. Sometimes it’s been a struggle deciding what they should do for themselves, versus what we should do for them. I used to put their clothes out for them in junior high, but I learned they need to make a habit of doing these things themselves.

Yousef is definitely the more “hold-them-accountable, let-them-do-it themselves” type. He opened them bank accounts at 13, so they could learn how to manage their own money. I didn’t learn how to write a check until I was 20, because I was never taught those things, whereas I knew how to do dry wall and other blue collar tasks.

Another thing is, when your kids get older, they become a lot more independent. Now that Abby is driving, she doesn’t need me to do anything for her. Ethan still needs me obviously. He’s still a boy. But having two who don’t really need you anymore is hard. You lose a lot of time to interact with them and your sense of identity as a parent. But that’s my job, right? —-not to be needed—so they can go out in the world and not be overly dependent on anyone. However, when it happens, it hurts a little, and you have to figure out what to do next.

Which personality traits of yours do you see in them?

All of my kids are stubborn. If you have three kids with totally different personalities, and somehow they’re all insanely stubborn, you know it came from somewhere. It’s funny how personality-wise, as far as how they act and treat people, it can be one parent, yet their financial aspect can belong completely to the other one. Abby, for example, is Yousef. How she talks to people, how she acts, is so much like how he was in high school, just a girl version. But she is totally me financially. She’s the free-spirit spender, I-do-what-makes-me-happy. Noah has my personality, but he’s 100% Yousef financially, as far as saving money, investing, keeping an eye out on his spending. Ethan is yet to be determined.

We talk a lot about stocks around you, and I’m sure it drives you crazy. Financials aside, what is one company you think would be worth investing in based solely on your experience as a consumer?

If it were up to who Yousef would think I should invest in based solely on consumer habits, it would be Amazon. But their stock is outrageous. I do here you guys mention Crocs stock a lot. My kids wear Crocs. And Crocs bought the other shoe we wear around the house—Hey Dudes. The fact that we have them all around the house and that you guys always talk about it makes me think it would be a smart stock to buy.  

Do you have any business ideas where you think “This would really sell,” or “Why hasn’t this been invented yet?”

Everything is so convenient now, I can’t think of anything offhand. . . I would invent something to get the kids to wash the dishes.

What do you think future generations will say about people in 2022?

I think future generations will feel bad for us, but not in a good way. I think they will look back and see how much people were fighting and angry and loud, and feel bad that we behaved that way. It’s ridiculous that nobody can get along these days.

This is the rapid-fire round. I’m going to ask you several questions in quick succession. You can limit your answers to no more than a few words or sentences.

Favorite drink?

Wine. Nineteen Crimes Hard Chard.

Favorite board game?

Codenames.

Ideal weather?

Sunny and 78.

Dream occupation?

Travel vlogger. Who doesn’t want to just travel around the world.

Underrated musician, actor, or athlete?

LL Cool J, because they don’t talk about him as a rapper. Or they don’t talk about him as an actor, and he’s been in a lot of stuff. At least I’ve seen all of his movies.

What appeals to you more—a hot air balloon ride or skydiving?

A hot air balloon ride, 100%. I want to be able to enjoy the view. I’m not going to enjoy the view as I’m plummeting towards it.

A word, phrase, or linguistic habit of people that you find revolting?

I hate when people put an “s” on the end of Kroger and Meijer. You don’t hear people say “Walmarts,” but you hear them say “Kroger’s’” and “Meijer’s.” I think it’s an Ohio thing.

A conspiracy theory that you suspect may be true?

I’m not a conspiracy theorist at all, but I do think Eipstein did not kill himself.

If you could live in any historical era, which would you choose?

I don’t like old eras, because I want the modern conveniences of toilets, but I would love to have been around for Martin Luther King Jr. To be able to attend one of his rallies would be a really cool experience.

Something people don’t know about you?

Most people don’t know that I sing and won a state singing competition in high school in North Dakota. It was a quartet, but still, I was one of the four. .  

Fill in the blank. If I was exiled from the US tomorrow, I hope they would send me to ____?

Jordan. Amman, Jordan, because we have family there and I love the city.

Most heartbreaking sports moment?

Oh, God. I’m a Cleveland fan—There are so many. I’d have to say in the 90s, when the Indians went to the World Series, and we lost. Not the more recent one. The 90s prepared me for the more recent loss. 

Greater probability of happening first—World War III or the Browns winning the super bowl?

I feel like World War III, unfortunately. We’ll see what comes out of everything that’s happening now. I just don’t have a good feeling about it. I feel like Putin is becoming very dictator-like, trying to rule the world.

If money wasn’t a factor, how would you spend your days?

On a beach somewhere.

Do you have any plans for life as an empty-nester / post-graduation?

I plan to sell my house and move downtown or to a cool urban area, and to travel. Now I feel like we don’t get to travel for fun anymore. Everything is for sports. I want to be able to enjoy when we travel not having to worry about if the kids turned in their homework or made sure to shut the iron off. I’d love to see all of the Middle East and Europe, specifically Ireland. I’ve never been to Ireland, but I’ve always wanted to go. I’ve heard it’s just beautiful. As a redhead, I think going back to Ireland and seeing other Irish redheads would make me happy.

On April 1, 2021, the US Department of State recognized April as National Arab-American Heritage Month to celebrate the culture of Arabs living in the US, and their contributions to society. According to the Arab-American Institute, there are currently ~3.5 million Arabs in the country, and some 93,000 Jordanians per the 2019 American Community Survey. I personally enjoy talking about language, culture, and lifestyle. It’s the world I’ve been immersed in during the last decade, as an academic, linguist, and human being. Rather than give my two cents on the topic as someone who was raised in an Arab-American household, I thought it would be better this time to consult a primary source.

This week, I asked my mother, Ms. Hala, if she’d be willing to talk about some of her experiences as an immigrant to the US. My mother was born in Amman, Jordan. She moved to the US in her early 20s and ultimately settled in Columbus, Ohio. My mother’s experiences and perspective shed light on some of the challenges and opportunities of immigration, in general, and immigration from the Middle East to the US, in particular. The following is the account of a live 90-minute interview conducted in person. I trust you will find her answers to be funny, direct, and insightful.

[For the complete archive of interviews, click here.]

You’ve been living in the US for around three decades. Can you recall any funny, strange, or awkward encounters that happened as a result of you having grow up in Jordan?

I remember when I first came to America, and I worked at the Christian bookstore. I was driving home one day. I guess I was speeding on the Old Brice Road. It was 25. It’s still 25 today. A cop flashed behind me, and I didn’t realize that he was trying to pull me over. I was new in the country, and nobody tails you like that in Jordan. The cop followed me all the way home. He gave me a ticket. He said he wouldn’t have given me a ticket if I had stopped. I did not have that realization or understanding. I was in my mid-twenties at the time. Since that day, I have not been pulled over a single time.

I also used to cut people off in conversation all the time. In Jordan, we’d have a room full of people with everybody talking at the same time, and everybody understanding everybody. I don’t know if it was a Jordan thing or just my family. I came to America, and I started realizing after cutting people off all the time, they would start looking at me funny. They would get real quiet. People were not trying to be rude, but you could tell by their body language that they did not appreciate me interrupting them. I started to have the self-awareness that “Oops, this doesn’t work.” Since then, I’ve been working on my ability to listen all these years and not interrupt people. I think I’ve come a long way.

What is one thing people don’t know about Jordan, the Middle East, or Arab culture?

Jordan is a dry country with very little rainfall. We cherish water. We don’t waste it. When I used to see people in the US leaving the faucet on hot for half an hour while rinsing and shaving, I would think “Man, people here just waste water. They let the faucet run and run.” In Jordan, we used to use a bowl to shave. You would dip the razor in and out to conserve water. There were water tanks on top of the house. If you ran out of water, you would have to call a company to come bring you more.

Another difference has to do with the church in general. As Christians in Jordan, we were a minority. Living in that environment puts you on guard. When I came to the US, I felt people were more relaxed spiritually. They didn’t have to feel what we felt and deal with some of the things we dealt with. When America is all people know, they often take for granted resources and privileges that everybody in the world doesn’t have. Freedom. Education. Job opportunities. Financial blessings.

You’ve been involved in Christian ministry for more than a decade. What inspired you to take that route?

I’ve had a desire to do ministry since I was a teenager. It was something I felt the Lord was calling me to do. After I graduated high school in Jordan, I went to Switzerland for a few months to attend a child evangelism program. When I came back to Jordan, I led children’s ministry at my local church and in other parts of the country. I loved working with the youth.

Ministry has always been a part of my heart and what I’ve wanted to do. I love to teach the Bible, and I have a heart to see people restored, discipled, and have a deeper walk with the Lord. When I came to the US, I continued on that same path, but in a different capacity, now with adults instead of children. I’ve been pastoring/teaching/reaching adults for the last 12 years.

I still have a heart for the younger generation. Even though I don’t teach children, I have a heart to see God’s purpose in their life. I believe we need to keep the younger generation at the forefront of what we do, because it will eventually come time to pass the baton on to them.

I was also busy first raising my own children. That, in itself, I felt, was a big part of my ministry. For a big portion of my life, they were the priority in everything I did.

You also work at family-owned HSU & CO Natural Health Store, a local retailer specializing in nutrition and wholistic health. What is it like to work there?

HSU is an educational ground for me. I learn from the industry, from other employees, and from the customers. I get to build relationships with people. It’s very busy, and I’m interacting with people all day long. I find it engaging to get to help people feel better health-wise. It’s been amazing to learn about all the natural herbs and medicine that enable people to depend less on pharmaceuticals. I still have so much more to learn, of course.

Some people are already fluent in the language when they migrate. For others, it takes years of full immersion before they attain proficiency. Did you have a background in English before you arrived in the US?

I started studying English in Jordan in the 1st grade. I attended a private school, called the Greek Orthodox School. Many people who went to public government schools did not receive the same quality English education. The curriculum consisted of one English class, taught in English, while everything else was in Arabic.

I didn’t speak English around family or friends, but another way I had exposure to the language was through missionaries who came to Jordan. There was this one lady I connected with from the US, in particular, who felt God wanted her to teach me how to play the organ. I got to practice my English with her, and I ended up playing the piano at church for years.

Many people don’t know that Britain influenced our culture a lot, including the school system. I remember one of my English teachers was from Britain, and he taught us an Oxford-style English. When I lived in Jordan, not everybody studied English, and not everyone who studied English spoke it well, so it wasn’t something you could take for granted. I know today there are many American schools in Jordan with American teachers, so maybe that is no longer the case.

Did you have any difficulty communicating after you first arrived?  

I think most people could understand me. If they were talking too fast, sometimes I had a hard time understanding them. The issue in communication often has to do with culture, not language. People don’t understand where you’re coming from, even if they understand the words you’re saying. Our way of thinking and mannerisms do not always translate.

Arabic is notoriously hard for English speakers to learn. Is the same true in reverse?

I think it is easier to learn English because there are a lot more words in Arabic than English. Arabic also has more complex grammar and accents. In English, when you say the word “You,” it can apply to one person, two people, or many people. In Arabic, you use a different verb form for singular and plural. Written Arabic also has a separate language and case system you have to learn alongside the spoken dialects. Arabic is a whole different ballgame. You don’t have to deal with any of that in English.

How do you keep your Arabic fresh?

I keep my Arabic fresh by talking to family members. I actually should do more than that because it’s not enough. I should be reading books in Arabic, but I read in English, and I pray in English. They say the language you pray in is the language you’re most comfortable in. Since I’ve been praying in English for a long time, I guess you can say I’m more comfortable in English at this point.

Your accent has gotten less pronounced over the years, but it’s still noticeable. Do you feel like people treat you differently when they perceive that you are a foreigner? 

I think people are sometimes afraid of what they do not understand. When people hear the accent, they have preconceived ideas about who you are. It’s not always negative. Some people are loving and welcoming, while others keep you at a distance.

I’m a very sociable person. Whether I was at my kids’ school or baseball games, I always tried to interact with people and talk to them, even if they didn’t come talk to me. That was good in a sense, but sometimes I still felt that I was an outsider and wasn’t fully included in whatever they were doing.

I will say that some people went out of their way to make us feel welcome and loved when we first came to Ohio and attended World Harvest Church. For example, we met a guy named Glenn and his wife, Marilyn. Glenn and Marilyn showed us love and grace. When you come from a different country, a different culture, speak a different language, have a strong accent, people don’t always welcome you with open arms. Now maybe people are more welcoming to immigrants, but that wasn’t always the case.

What is one of the biggest challenges of living in the US?

In the US, you have to work harder to build your community and relationships. If you don’t do that, you can quickly find yourself isolated. In Jordan, it seems that families are more close-knit, and relationships are easier to come by. Everybody is busy here, so you can easily go a long time without talking to someone. There’s also the geographic dynamic. I’m so blessed to have all my boys in the same city, at the moment. Many people I talk to have family scattered all over the US.

People here also work long really hours, and it affects social relationships. In the US, people work from the morning to the evening. In Jordan, many people used to work in the morning, take a lunch break, go home, and eat, before going back to work. You could even have a siesta [nap] if you wanted to. I don’t know if that’s how it still works. I always used to think it was weird here that people worked in the morning straight until 5. People here seemed to be having health issues, and they seemed to be really stressed out. And then eventually I became a part of that system.

Have you been involved in any extracurricular/civil society activities?

In 2015, I was selected to do leadership training for the inner city with a program called DVULI [DeVos Urban Leadership Initiative]. It was a faith-based, 15-month program that consisted of trainings, workshops, and events. The focus was on empowering leaders to work with youth, particularly in urban communities.

In the last few years, I’ve served on the committee of Young Life Ministry for the Southeast area of Columbus. Young Life seeks to reach youth in high schools through various activities, camps, and community engagement. My committee supports leaders with these efforts. Sometimes we cook food for events. We also help with event planning and execution.

You visited Jordan a few years ago. How did the country compare to your memory of it three decades ago?

The thing that stood out to me the most was the influence of other peoples. I saw the influence of people that came to Jordan from Syria and Iraq and the Gulf. They started businesses. For example, there were many more Syrian restaurants. Also, it was more crowded. Amman was as hectic as ever.

What is the thing you’ve missed the most about Jordan?

My family who still live there.

I’m going to ask you several questions in quick succession. You can limit your answers to no more than a few words or sentences.

Favorite Jordanian food?

Falafel.

Favorite American food?

Pizza.

Favorite TV show?

I don’t have a favorite, but I like police and detective shows.

Favorite thing about Ohio?

The four seasons.

Least favorite thing about Ohio?

Slick roads in the winter.

If you had to move to another city or country, where would you go?  

Somewhere not too far away from my kids.

Does pineapple belong on pizza, yes or no?

No.

What are some of your favorite memories growing up in Jordan?

There was a surprise birthday party that my family and church threw for me when I turned 18. It was so much fun. So many young people were in attendance, and we played all kinds of games. I was not expecting it at all. They did a really good job.  

When I was teaching children’s ministry, I would go to different parts of Jordan, and the kids would all run to my car and carry my keyboard and all my teaching materials. I would play the keyboard, teach them, and do everything ministry-related. The kids were so excited to learn and to have the meeting.

Youth camps were also one of my favorites, both attending and as a leader. We had a wonderful time learning about the Lord and growing in our relationship with God. We used to go to England every summer when I was young and attend kid’s camp there. It was such a fun time.   

What are some of your favorite things about living in the US?  

I like the freedom. I like the space. The whole country is full of space and freedom. Even the roads in America are bigger. I like order. In Jordan, there could be 4 cars in 2 lanes, or even 5. The nature here is also beautiful. There’s green grass. We didn’t have green grass in Jordan–nobody learned to cut grass because there wasn’t any. Jordan is a desert. People here seem to learn how to do all kinds of stuff.

I also love meeting people from all over the world. There’s so much diversity in the US. I cherish the relationships I established while living in the US, and the community of believers I am a part of. People, in general, are kind and loving, and raising my children in the US and seeing the opportunities they received has been a blessing.

Do you think America has changed you?

In some ways, I’m more American now. My friends, community, and church family are American. I watch American TV. I speak American English. I’ve learned more about American people and culture. I’ve learned more about navigating various life challenges in the US. I’ve also learned more about myself. I’ve grown in many ways, spiritually, while living here, as well.

I find that people everywhere are similar as far as their experiences. They have the same aspirations in life. They face the same struggles. The only thing different is the language and culture.