[You can follow me on Twitter @creatorvilla.] Steve Jobs and Muhammad Ali have reputations that precede them. Jobs co-founded and presided over Apple for decades before his passing, a company that is now worth $1 trillion dollars, over 5% of the GDP of the United States. Ali was a world champion heavyweight boxer when the sport was in its heydey. Nikola, for his part, pioneered breakthroughs in the production, transmission, and application of electric power. Tesla, the famous electric car brand named in his honor, is valuated at more than $100 billion dollars.

What do these titans share in common besides the extreme wealth and celebrity they acquired during their lifetime? A peculiar habit known as semen retention. For those unfamiliar with the term, retention refers to the conscious decision of a man not to climax. It is based on the belief that climax releases powerful energy that can otherwise be rechanneled in other areas of life. Steve Jobs’ ex-girlfriend Chrisann Brennan had this to say about his peculiar habit.

“Our birth control method up to that point was Steve’s coitus interruptus, also called the pull-out method, which for him was about his conserving his energy for work.” She added he didn’t want to climax to build “power and wealth by conserving [his] vital energies.”

In Muhammad Ali’s autobiography The Greatest: My Own Story, he narrates a quote from Olympic boxing coach Harry Wiley.

There’s a kid just come down here named Cassius Clay. If you bet on him every time he fights, you’ll be a rich man, ‘cause he won’t lose a single fight. I believe his thing is sexual control. And he’s got it. . . Any kid who can control [it] can with the title. I believe it.

Ali would reportedly go up to 2 months without climaxing in preparation for a fight. Retention prior to a fight, in fact, has been standard operating procedure among many boxers. David Haye, former British Heavyweight Champion, articulated the logic of the practice as follows.

I don’t [climax] for six weeks before the fight. . . It releases too much tension. It releases a lot of minerals and nutrients that your body needs, and it releases them cheaply. Releasing weakens the knees and your legs. Find a lion that hasn’t had some food for a while, and you’ve got a dangerous cat. So there won’t bet a drip from me. Even in my sleep — if there are girls all over me in my dream, I say to them, “I’ve got a fight next week, I can’t do anything. I can’t do it.” That’s control. I’ve been doing that since I was fifteen and its part and parcel of my preparation now. That’s why I am who I am today — it’s down to all those little sacrifices. Find me another boxer who makes that sacrifice, and you’ll find another champion

Nikola Tesla was an inventor and had his own reasons for practicing the habit. He had this to say in the article “Tesla Opposed to Marriage,” published in the Electrical Journal in 1896.

I do not believe that an inventor should marry, because he has so intense a nature and so much in it of wild passionate qualities that in giving himself to a women he might love, he would give everything, and so take everything from his chosen field. I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

The late Napoleon Hill was one of the most successful self-help authors of the 20th century. His famous book Think and Grow Rich is among the top 10 best-selling self-help books of all time. In it, he has a chapter entitled “The Mystery of Sex: Transmutation.” Transmutation is about redirecting the energy innate in powerful sexual urges into other creative pursuits. Napoleon Hill said it best himself.

Sex desire is the most powerful of human desires. When driven by this desire, men develop keenness of imagination, courage, will-power, persistence, and creative ability unknown to them at other times. So strong and impelling is the desire for sexual contact that men freely run the risk of life and reputation to indulge it. When harnessed, and redirected along other lines, this motivating force maintains all of its attributes of keenness of imagination, courage, etc., which may be used as powerful creative forces in literature, art, or in any other profession or calling, including, of course, the accumulation of riches.

Other celebrities have commented on this same alleged power. Music mogul and fashion designer Kanye West had this to say.

I have, like, nuclear power, like a superhero, like Cyclops when he puts his glasses on. . . People ask me a lot about my drive. I think it comes from, like, having a sexual addiction at a really young age. Look at the drive that people have to get sex—to dress like this and get a haircut and be in the club in the freezing cold at 3 a.m., the places they go to pick up a girl. If you can focus the energy into something valuable, put that into work ethic. . .

Stephen T. Chang, Master of Taoist Philosophy, illustrated his belief that climaxing has a draining effect on a man’s mind and body.

When the average male [climaxes], he loses about one tablespoon of semen. According to scientific research, the nutritional value of this amount of semen is equal to that of two pieces of New York steak, ten eggs, six oranges, and two lemons combined. That includes proteins, vitamins, minerals, amino acids, everything… [Climax] is often called ‘coming’. The precise word for it should be ‘going,’ because everything — the erection, vital energy, millions of live sperm, hormones, nutrients, even a little of the man’s personality goes away. It is a great sacrifice for the man, spirituality, mentally, and physically.

Going even further back in time, Proverbs 31 of the Bible recounts the advice that the mother of King Lemuel (possibly King Solomon himself) gave him. She had this to say in verse 3, an injunction potentially relevant to the topic.

Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings.

Proverbs 31:3

Retention has an ancient pedigree and there are many people today who swear by its benefits. I have read countless testimonials online of users who claim to have experienced a myriad of benefits with this discipline. Reported benefits include clarity of mind, increased female attraction, decreased anxiety, higher energy levels, greater resilience, a stronger immune system, more charisma, sharper creativity, and better masculinity.

For further reading, check out

• A Scientific Explanation For the Benefits of Semen Retention
• 100 Days of Retention (7 Fascinating Observations)
• Sunlight is the Key to Testosterone and Athletic Performance in Males.

[You can follow me on Twitter @creatorvilla.] Today I want to share the results of a study conducted several decades ago that has forever changed the way we view the relationship between sunlight, testosterone, and athletic performance. In the study, Doctors Abraham Myerson and Rudolph Neustadt exposed men to UV light and measured the excretion of various sex hormones. The study revealed that exposure to UV light triggered huge increases in testosterone levels which did not return to baseline levels for over a week. This increase was dependent on the location of the body and the amount of skin exposed to the UV light. The researchers found that men’s baseline testosterone increased by 120% (more than double!) when the participants’ chest and back were exposed to UV light. However, the biggest increase in testosterone came when the participants’ testicles were exposed to UV light. The latter resulted in a massive 200% increase (triple) in baseline testosterone levels. This study has enormous implications for guys attempting to optimize testosterone levels and for athletes who want to maximize performance naturally and legally. It is a wonder why the sporting and fitness industries haven’t gone mainstream with this knowledge. Then again, there is little money to be made by advising people to get more sunlight. Companies would rather sell you expensive supplements. Athletes who have this knowledge may also wish to maintain a competitive advantage over their rivals.

The main takeaway of the study is that exposure to UV light anywhere on the body drives a huge increase in testosterone levels. I, however, wanted to test out the particulars of the study. Bluntly put, I wanted to see what would happen when I directly exposed the balls to UV light. I did this through an open window during the heat of day when the UV Index was high. I noticed they immediately began to grow upon first exposure. I knew this is the area where the body produces the vast majority of testosterone, so it made sense that local exposure to sunlight would trigger a disproportionate increase. The physical changes I observed coupled with the increases in energy and motivation to work out convinced me not only that the study was accurate, but that it was a major game-changer for the sports and fitness industries.

Exposing one’s nether parts to sunlight is neither practical nor desirable for obvious reasons. This has led some guys aware of the benefits to use UV red light therapy to achieve the same outcome in the privacy of their own home (link). I don’t doubt this works, but since it’s not something I’ve personally experimented with, I won’t say much about it. What I do know is that red light technology can be quiet pricey. However, I did discover a cheap and natural method that arguably worked even better for me than expensive alternatives.

Disclaimer: Don’t try this at home. You should consult your doctor about Vitamin D and testosterone optimization given that they are very powerful hormones and a lot could go wrong.

Vitamin D is known as the sunshine vitamin for good reason. The human body has a Vitamin D receptor in nearly ever cell of the body and is highly evolved to generate Vitamin D upon exposure to the sun. After I first read the study a few years ago, I wondered whether the increase in testosterone was triggered by the local production of Vitamin D directly on the skin in response to the UV light exposure. That in mind, I experimented with different doses of Vitamin D topical applied directly to the balls. Lo and behold, I noticed the same enlarging effect as when I had gotten direct UV light exposure. In this process of trial and error, I came to the conclusion that less is more. When the skin is exposed to UV light, it naturally generates Vitamin D in a uniform fashion. Small exposed areas of skin naturally produce small amounts of Vitamin D, and applying to much Vitamin D to any one region can interfere with its natural synthesis by the body. I found that less than 1,000 IU was enough for me to achieve the desired effect and that higher doses were wholly ineffective. Whenever I apply Vitamin D anywhere directly to my skin I prefer to crack open the Vitamin D softgels rather than purchase a topical product. My method is cheaper and it enables me to control the dosing better than prepared formulations. I would apply about half of a 1000 IU softgel every few days and could notice a major difference within a few hours.

Today I make sure I get adequate sun exposure as part of a healthy lifestyle, but I have not experimented with UV light or Vitamin D in this fashion in years. Currently, I have no reason to maintain peak testosterone levels. However, if I ever found myself training for an athletic competition or was experiencing symptoms of low testosterone, the power of the sun would be my first recourse. Nowadays people are quick to take supplements, inject steroids, or go on testosterone replacement therapy, giving up on their body’s natural ability to produce what they need. Meanwhile, nature offers a cheaper (if not free) solution that is arguably more effective than artificial alternatives.

See my article on the The Most Natural Way To Optimize Vitamin D Levels for more pro tips on harnessing the power of the sun.

[You can follow me on Twitter @creatorvilla.] Today I want to share a short clip I transcribed in which navy seal and motivational speaker David Goggins discusses his relationship to drugs and alcohol. Goggins knows a lot about sobriety as someone who went through hell week training three times and routinely competes in ultramarathons and other excruciating athletic events. For Goggins, sobriety is about staying in control of his mind and living authentically. To be sure, this is not a knock on anyone or any lifestyle, just one man’s perspective that I found thought-provoking.

I want to make sure that every single thing I feel is real. I want no masking. I want nothing to mask my ability to feel fear and to overcome fear, whatever it may be.

David Goggins

Transcript:

Interviewer: And I know one thing that, —we spoke about it before [we were on] camera. To most of the world, you’re super clean. You’ve never done drugs. You’ve never had alcohol. You don’t drink alcohol.

Goggins: I’ve tasted alcohol, but no, I’m not a drinker.

Interviewer: Do you think that has to do with your father who used to drink a lot?

Goggins: It’s probably due to him, but it’s also due to—at a young age, I realized that I had a very weak mind, a very weak mind. And I want nothing to interfere with my own thought process. A lot of people before they go on stage, they get a little bit tipsy, get a little buzz. Maybe smoke a little something, do a little something.

I want to make sure that every single thing I feel is real. I want no masking. I want nothing to mask my ability to feel fear and to overcome fear, whatever it may be.

I’m not saying people who drink or do these different things are trying to hide. Some people just do it. For me, I think it’s almost a masking agent, so then your mind doesn’t have to work as hard. That means I’m losing.

I identify as a night owl. The evenings are when I tend to be most relaxed and productive. I enjoy talking to friends, surfing the web, reading, meditating, and watching live sports into the wee hours of the morning. My current circumstances enable this lifestyle. However, I’ve also come to realize that there are powerful psychological benefits to waking up early.

When we wake up at the last possible minute before some obligation, or after we’ve exhausted every minute of sleep, we become passive players in life. Our circumstances and obligations bully us into doing things we would rather not. Waking up earlier than necessary changes the narrative. It communicates an embrace of the challenges and opportunities of life and transforms us from passive to active participants. There is a reason why most successful, high-energy, go-getter personality types tend to wake up early. Human beings have also evolved to be highly competitive and conscious of others. When we are awake in the morning while others are asleep, we often feel at a social advantage, and vice-versa.

Recently, I re-discovered a powerful life hack that started working for me almost instantly: intermittent fasting. Intermittent fasting can be a powerful tool for waking up earlier and with better energy. My routine right now consists of me not consuming any calories after 3 or 4 PM. This creates a powerful incentive for me to go to bed earlier and rise earlier to fullfull nature’s most primal instinct. And it tends to have an energetic carry-over effect the rest of the day.

This routine may be difficult to execute, even for people who have extensive experience with intermittent fasting. I, for one, intermittent fasted for more than a year, and my feeding window was always sometime in the afternoon and evening. When I recently stopped eating in the evenings, I realized just how much I enjoy doing it, when all the work for the day is complete and my mind is in entertainment mode. The evening is also when I hang out with friends and family and like to socialize over a meal.

Abstinence requires forethought and discipline, especially when I know I’m going to be around people or engaged in some athletic activity. It means I have to be disciplined to eat enough calories during my feeding window to sustain me for the rest of the day and not to cave to the temptation to eat for pleasure when time, company, and good food are abundant.

Some say the only thing that matters is what you eat, not when you eat it. My experience leads me to believe otherwise.

Note: Fasting is not for everyone and you should do your due diligence and consult your doctor before beginning any fasting regiment.

Any year the word “pandemic” is among the most popular search terms in Google, you know you’re in for a ride. If you’re like most people, the word itself is synonymous with some special challenge or circumstance you’ve had to endure. Many people have gotten sick. Many people have died. And an even great number have been compelled to make unwanted lifestyles changes. I have a few friends who entered the year physically and mentally unscathed, but they are the exception to the rule. The rule is that pandemics suck, and it takes special coping skills to make it out on top.

This week, I brought in my guy and newlywed, Chase Ridgway, to serenade us with his wisdom on the theme. Chase is the ultimate insider. He graduated from Capital University in Columbus, Ohio, with his Bachelor’s degree in Nursing. Chase worked in a pressure cooker environment for four years in the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit [ICU] at Ohio State Wexner. Chase also recently spent a few months on assignment to a unit that treated a number of Covid 19-positive patients. Due to his background and even-tempered personality, our interviewee is uniquely qualified to address the topic of stress management amidst a global pandemic. Never at a loss for words, I hope you find Chase’s experiences and reflections, taken from a 90-minute in-person interview, to be exquisitely practical, eye-opening, and down-to earth. FYI, I defined a few medical terms in brackets to save you time and give your thumb a break from all that scrolling.

Tell the people about yourself. 

My name is Chase Ridgway. I’ve been a nurse for five years. I spent my first four years in the ICU before transitioning over to endoscopy [procedures to look inside the body’s digestive system]. I am also currently taking classes to become a Family Nurse Practitioner.

As far as my personal life goes, I am recently married and the proud father of a black and white greyhound named Franny, and two black cats, Arnold and Mena. In my free time, I like woodworking, lifting weights, yoga, biking, boxing, and frequently hiking with my wife and family. I try to maintain an active lifestyle to stay healthy first and foremost, and to make sure what I preach and what I practice are one and the same.

What informed your interest in the medical field?

It was a family thing. My sister, my cousin, and my aunts were nurses. They liked their jobs. I’m also a people person. I knew I wanted to do something that involved people. Nursing is also a pretty steady occupation. You are never going to run out of people to treat. In fact, the healthcare profession is actually gaining patients.

I was also a heavy kid growing up. I had a really cool pediatrician, Dr. Heiny, who helped me get on the right path. Dr. Heiny didn’t ignore me and talk to my parents. He was very personable, very friendly, and talked to me on my level. He was also very upfront with me about losing weight, and told me very plainly in middle school that I was prediabetic, and without lifestyle changes, I could develop type-2 diabetes. To help combat this eventuality, Dr. Heiny made getting healthy into a point system and a game. He had me participate me in Weight Watchers and count the calories of everything that went into my body. He also suggested trying out sports to see what I liked. This led me to volunteer to play football in middle school, which along with many years of baseball, helped me trim down about 90 lbs from my freshman to senior year of high school. My background explains part of my interest in bariatric care [management of obesity] to this day.

How did you start out working in the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit? Was your temperament a factor in the decision?

I knew it is what I wanted to do straight out of college. I thought the intense stuff would be the most interesting, and I thought it would give me the opportunity to help the largest number of people. In reality, it was mostly about managing preventable conditions. A lot of people were chronically ill. Some had done permanent damage to their bodies. I watched the health of a lot of our patients deteriorate. This led me to want to shift to primary care to focus on the prevention side. People in hospitals often need band-aid care. We fix them up so they can return home and go about their lives. As a Nurse Practitioner, I want to help fight health issues before they develop and prevent these terrible conditions that people get admitted to the ICU for. It starts early, by being proactive and with the proper education.

I am generally a calm guy, but the stress of the ICU will take its toll on anyone. There were a lot of sad cases of drug abuse and overdose that were very difficult to manage. We also had cases where a single sick patient might have 10-12 different medications running through their IVs. Family members would often ask questions that nobody could be sure of. And about once a month, one of my patients would pass away. I was also working nights. I would typically work 7 PM to 7 AM, several days a week, and pick up a lot of overtime. On days I worked, I would sleep from 9 AM to 4 PM. I barely saw anyone, and when I did see someone, I would lose sleep. Whenever I had several days off in row, I would typically sacrifice two of them just flipping back to a normal sleep schedule.

My first few months in ICU were rough. I had a hard time going to sleep, thinking of everything that happened that day and playing out different scenarios in my head to make sure I was prepared. I got better at stress management over time, but it’s something you have to constantly stay on top of in that environment. ICU was intense, and it was fun. I liked it, and I learned a lot, but I knew it wasn’t something I could continue for life. Around year three, I could sense that it was time for a change.

What’s the most chaotic situation you’ve ever had to deal with? 

We once had a patient who had just suffered a heart attack. He was in cardiac arrest and came to our catheter lab to receive treatment. By that time, he had already been unresponsive for a couple hours. His blood pressure was very low and his organs were starting to shut down, and began doing CPR and giving meds. It was basically I and a few nurses running a code [trying to save a dying person], and we were fortunately able to get him back. The patient had a bunch of occlusions in his heart and was admitted from the cath lab to the ICU floor. He had like 20 family members with him, and they all wanted answers. They stayed up all night in the waiting room because they didn’t know if he would make it to the next morning.

The patient wasn’t showing any signs of life neurologically. His lab values from his blood showed massive organ breakdown and death. His family was camped out, praying, hoping for the best. They wanted to wait until his daughter could come see him before he passed. And so we spent the whole night trying to keep him alive long enough for his daughter to say goodbye. As for the doctor, he was sitting outside his room the entire time, ordering meds and directing us what to do. The patient’s electrolytes would get out of whack, and we’d have to correct it or he would go into cardiac arrest again. He needed blood drawn every hour and meds every 20 to 30 minutes. He had 5 or 6 IV drips going. Three of them are called vasopressors to help keep his blood pressure high enough.

It was a chaotic situation. I would go out and talk with the whole family as often as I could, every 2 or 3 hours, to give them updates. One thing they talk about is not giving false hope but remaining positive, which is not easy to do. It’s hard to tell the truth and be honest about his condition and not inspire false hope. “He’s still fighting, and he’s not doing any better.” You try to ride the line and be as respectful as you can.

The man wasn’t in good shape, but he made it through my shift. We stabilized him long enough so his daughter could some see him the next day. When I came back the next night, he was gone. The family decided to reverse his code to DNR [do not resuscitate], and turned off all the medication. It was a tough situation for everyone. I’ve had a lot of patients in critical care, but he was one of the most difficult to keep alive, and one of the most emotionally taxing to take care of.

How do you stay calm under pressure? Is there a special motto or breathing technique or prayer or meditation that you resort to?

I’ve always been a guy who doesn’t overreact to things. Some of it is built into my personality. I can’t say that I have a special secret or mantra, but I have learned from working in ICU that work stress isn’t worth bringing home. Don’t worry about anything you can’t control. I don’t think about it or dwell on it. At the end of the day, it’s a choice. I know it’s not always easy to do, but knowing that is what makes the difference for me.

My calmness also comes from being sure that I am in the right place doing the right thing with my life and that I have the right knowledge to help. I gave it my all in my schooling and in my training and I felt like as long as I kept learning and getting better, I could remain calm in every situation. Listen to those who know best in an area, and you can feel confident enough about what you’re doing to experience that same effect. Knowledge is key here, as is the ability to keep learning and listening.

I’ll add that physical activity is the number one way for me to de-stress in the moment. Early in my career, like I said, I was very stressed out. During the first few months, I’d be so keyed up from work that I would come home and work myself out to exhaustion and hope to be able to fall asleep after that. I would get home at 7 AM and wouldn’t go to bed until 1 PM, because I was so focused trying to remember everything and make sure I did the very best I could. I eventually got better at the work-life balance, but it wasn’t always easy.

Music is another big one. I rarely ever drive in complete silence. Music and comedy, but between the three, physical activity for me is king. They were also pretty big on deep breathing in my undergraduate program. Whenever you can, take a moment to deep breath, focus, and try to process as much stressful input as you can.

Based on your reflections, it sounds like there is a lot of grace built into our biology. In a word, physical and emotional health is capable of changing for the better.

Health outcomes can always be improved with diet, exercise, and stress management. Even in cases where permanent damage has taken place, lifestyle changes can help prevent the situation from getting worse. Take diabetes, for example. The pancreas is no longer able to secrete its own insulin after irreversible damage has occurred. However, diabetics who make lifestyle changes will likely need less insulin, lose weight, and generally feel better. Immune function may go up. Fatigue may go down. It’s not a cure all, but it makes a huge difference. And that is a kind of grace.

Hypertension [high blood pressure] is another example. Depending on the cause, hypertension can be reversible. Salt intake. Fat intake. Caffein intake. Weight. Stress. And some people also have other conditions that influence it and need managed. You should always first develop a plan of treatment with your doctor, but generally anyone can improve their health at least a small amount with lifestyle changes. The goal is to get your body working better, feeling better, and hopefully living longer.

The sicker and more out of shape you get, the harder it becomes to reverse health outcomes. If you’re immobile, for example, or if you’re very old. It is always best to make lifestyle changes as soon as you can wherever you are.    

How has the pandemic influenced the healthcare industry, in general, and your occupation, in particular? 

Healthcare has become a lot more careful about what visitors they let in and who is being treated where. They’re a lot more careful about making sure employees call off when they’re sick. I know a lot of nurses who are workaholics and would come in no matter what. With Covid, they realize their health can deteriorate if they put extra stress on themselves, and they also run the risk of getting their coworkers and patients sick.

I also see a lot more people doing touch point cleaning in and around our work stations. As a nurse, we wear a lot more PPE [personal protective equipment]. Masks. Gloves. Eye shields. For example, we all wear N-95s or respirators whenever administering an upper endoscopy to patients. These tests look for infections, inflammation, ulcers, genetic diseases, things like that. And we have all our patients get tested for Covid before entering our unit.

You recently got assigned to a unit that saw a number of Covid-19 patients. What was it like working in that environment?

It was an in-patient Covid overflow unit. About fourteen of us from endoscopy received this assignment. The unit was created because Covid cases were rising and they were trying to isolate Covid patients on the units these people came from. It was difficult for everyone. I was gone from in-patient nursing [overnight care] for about a year, and some had been gone even longer. And so we were all worried about patient safety and making sure we were back to being competent and patients were getting appropriate care. It was dicey at first. I oriented for about two weeks, and there was the option to orient for even longer for those who needed it.

We took care of patients who had tested negative and others who ended up testing positive. It was a brain and spinal hospital, so a lot of people had neurological issues. Some patients had liver disease and some were there for surgeries. Time management was the biggest thing. It’s a skill that often gets lost in the moment. In endoscopy, we would hyper focus on one patient whereas on this unit were taking care of 3 or 4 patients at a time and needed to divide that time adequately to care for each patient. In this way, it resembled the ICU.

A few weeks ago you received a vaccine. How did that go?

Healthcare workers were one of the first populations to get offered the vaccine. It wasn’t required, and some were hesitant, but most went ahead and got it. A few weeks ago, I got my second dose of the Moderna vaccine, which consisted of two shots four weeks apart from each other. My only symptom after the first shot was a sore arm. It felt just like a flu shot. People who had got it before me said the second one was pretty rough, at least rougher than the first. After my second shot, I felt very fatigued. I had body aches and nausea. Not everyone experiences these symptoms. They say two thirds of all people don’t feel anything beyond a sore arm.

To my mind, it’s well worth it. If you do contract the virus, there’s a less likelihood of developing severe symptoms. However, it’s still unclear if you can spread it after you get the vaccine. People still need to be careful, wear masks, and take all the other precautions.

What’s the most challenging part of working in healthcare? 

It’s very physically exhausting. You’re constantly in motion, gathering resources, going from room to room to take care of different patients. It’s not an easy job. Some patients are less appreciative of your help than others, which can be frustrating.

What about the most rewarding? 

Making a positive impact in the lives of others. Helping people get home and live healthier lives and hopefully not have to come see us again. The job can be demanding, the job can be stressful, but I know the work we do is meaningful. And, in spite of everything, there have been very few days where I didn’t feel like going in.

How does your current job in endoscopy compare to working in the ICU and the Covid Unit?

Endoscopy is all out-patient, so people generally go home the same day. There are 30-40 employees on any given day, and we see anywhere from 60-80 patients in a day. It’s a very high-functioning environment, and we get each patient in and out of the hospital within a couple hours. Each procedure lasts anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour or more, and they take place in any one of 9 procedure rooms. I prefer endoscopy not because it’s low pressure but because we deal with one patient at a time. This allows us to get know that individual a little bit and fully focus on what we’re doing. We also have a good camaraderie among the staff, as we take care of the same patient in different phases. There are also fewer life or death situations, and so that helps with the stress. The biggest difference I find is I’m physically but not mentally exhausted at the end of the day.

The flexibility is one of the things I appreciate the most about nursing. There’s opportunity to try something new if you get bored or unhappy where you’re at, no matter where that may be.

You’re currently in school. Tell us more about the endgame you have in mind.    

My end goal is to become a Family Nurse Practitioner. FNPs can prescribe medication, examine patients, diagnose and treat conditions, whether that be with medication or other kinds of interventions. A typical visit covers a lot of what you would have done during a normal doctor’s appointment. Eventually I’d like to specialize in bariatric care, preferably with kids, or diabetes, or maybe become a general practitioner who sees patients of all different kinds in an out-patient setting. I’ve got about a year and a couple months left of the 3-year program. OSU Wexner has a full-time work, part-time study program where they offer tuition assistance.

I’m currently taking around 9 credits. We’re learning assessment techniques and pharmacology, where you learn about all the different drugs to prescribe and their various contraindications [reasons not to prescribe a medication]. It can be stressful to work full time and do school, but I feel like with the time management and study skills I’ve acquired, it hasn’t been as bad as I thought it would be.

Your wife is also a nurse. How has being married to someone in the same field influenced your life? 

I think being married to someone in the same field makes it easier to destress, especially for people with stressful occupations. Megan works with cardiac patients at Nationwide in the ICU, and I’ve already said a lot about the challenges of working in that environment. It helps to connect with someone of similar interests or work because you have shared experiences, and communication become that much easier.

Healthcare, in general, is a specialized thing where there is a lot of intimacy between patients and coworkers and everyone involved because it’s the work of improving lives and providing the best possible care. Healthcare is a lot different from other fields. There’s a very real healthcare community, and it helps to have someone who is a part of that and can relate to that. When my wife and I first met, we were both on the night shift, which helped us connect and made it a lot easier on our relationship. Megan is currently studying to be a CRNA [certified registered nurse anesthetist], and so were both doing the work-study thing and can relate to each other’s experiences in a big way.

What advice would you give someone who came to you for help with stress management and emotional control?

The key is to take a minute and think about all the resources you have, whether that’s knowledge, giftings, skills, or people. My ability to stay calm and in control, in my relationships, work, and the goals I’m working toward, is about having confidence in those resources. It’s also important to have good coping skills to destress, and to find activities or hobbies that have a relaxing effect on the mind. Stress management, like good health, is all about prevention. You don’t want to wait until you’re in an emotional crisis to act. You want to take steps now to set yourself up for success in the future.

Boundaries are also important. Don’t pull yourself in too many directions. Don’t get too emotionally involved with your work. Don’t take things personally. And don’t dwell on negative experiences. I know that’s easier said than done, but it’s a skill that can be developed. I made the choice to sacrifice social time, and time spent on hobbies, to dedicate to being a full-time nurse and student. My lifestyle works for me, but everyone should weigh their emotional health and well-being before taking on any new commitments. Think about the sacrifice that will be involved and whether you will be able to follow through. And remember, you can still be happy while you make sacrifices to pursue your goals and ambitions.

They say success in nursing is as much about taking care of yourself as it is taking care of patients. The same applies to other areas of life. Self-care is important because it affects your outlook on life, how others see you, how you see yourself, and how you interact with the people around you. If you’re not allowing yourself time and space to decompress and relax, whatever that looks like for you, then you’re setting yourself up for failure.

You have the last word. 

Wear your masks. Stay away from people when you can, and be safe when you can’t. Also, maintain communication with the ones you love. Don’t take for granted the time you get to spend with them because tomorrow’s not promised.

The pandemic has prompted a surge in cooking as people spend more time at home and are wary of going out. Some have taken up cooking as a hobby, while others have resorted to it as something even more vital. I myself have spent more time in the kitchen since the pandemic broke out, spatula and saltshaker in hand, than the rest of my life put together. I find cooking to be viscerally satisfying and an opportunity to create meaningful experiences with those around me. Growth in this area has beyond doubt been one of the pandemic’s biggest legacies in my life.

This backstory motivated me to reach out to my friend and travel companion, Frankie Isabelle. When he isn’t doing bicep curls or philosophizing about the state of world affairs, there is a good probability you can find Frankie in the kitchen cooking up some fire. Frankie has a reputation in our friend group as “the best cook of the bunch” and is known for making lavish preparations, complete with herbal tea, spice-induced aromatherapy, and ethnic cuisine. He contends that if cooking for you is all about the eating, then you may be missing the point. Frankie shares his experience, gleaned from his upbringing, travel, and observation, that could transform the way you view one of planet earth’s most ancient arts.

Tell the people a little bit about your background.

I’m the oldest of three brothers. I come from a Mediterranean background. My mother’s family is Lebanese. My father’s family is Italian and Irish. A friend of mine always jokes that the Irish are the only Mediterranean people north of France. I was born in strip-mall hell, Columbus, Ohio, which was really not such a bad place before all the yuppie gentrification projections turned the city into a giant shopping mall. These days they say that Columbus will be a Smart City. I guess that means it will have dumb residents.

In some Middle Eastern households, the kitchen is considered a feminine space. How does that stereotype square with your experience growing up in the US with an ethnically Lebanese mom?

I have never experienced the kitchen as a strictly feminine space. One thing I have noticed with the women in my family is that they do not like anyone near the kitchen when they are cooking. Asides from this, my mom was the breakfast specialist, and my father seemed to enjoy cooking, as well. In any case, he was always the grill master, and often cooked dinner. Growing up, both of my parents worked long hours, and I often had to fend for myself. Nevertheless, I do appreciate when people make me food, and I feel especially gratified when a woman makes me food.

When I was 17 years-old—and with the infinite wisdom of a 17 year-old—I decided to become a vegan. Nobody in my family was very interested in cooking vegan. Fortunately for me, Lebanese cuisine is easily adapted to a vegan diet, so I didn’t have a very difficult time at family meals. I’m talking about Loubieh bi Zeit (green beans in olive oil); Tabbouleh (vegetarian salad); Fattoush (bread-based salad); Bamieh (okra); and Warak Enab (stuffed grape leaves)—all mainstays of any Levantine kitchen. The problem was that this food was never enough to maintain my weight, and so I had to learn creative strategies for satisfying my body’s needs. This is where my interest in cooking really took off.

Most people assume that vegans are health-conscious people. All right–fair enough–but that doesn’t mean they want to eat limp kale for every meal. So, the question for me was really, how I do I create savory dishes that pack the same punch as animal based foods? Now that I’m no longer vegan, I still love to cook, but for a different reason: most of the Frankenfood for sale at restaurants and grocers has little nutritional value and is often toxic. Cooking our own food affords us greater control over the quality.

What makes a successful experience in the kitchen?

My best experiences in the kitchen are when I’m able to be creative with what’s at hand. And the only way for that to happen is to take risks, make mistakes, and improvise. With enough time you will be able to establish your preferred flavor profiles. My go-to consists of lemon, salt, pepper, onions, and garlic. As a cook, you will need to discover what combinations work best for you.

I do consult recipes because I am curious how certain things are made, but I am never constrained by them. A lot of people don’t cook because they lack the knowledge or are afraid to mess up, and there’s no excuse for either. If you feel uncomfortable, plan ahead so that you have what you need. Personally, I’ve never been a rule follower, and nobody in my family could ever give me any straightforward answers when I asked them how they made a particular dish. It was always, “I don’t know, I’ve made this my whole life,” or “a little bit of this and a pinch of that,” or “taste it as you go”.

For some people, cooking is transactional. They cook in order to eat. You, on the other hand, take a more holistic view. Can you speak to the psychological or social benefits of cooking?

When we develop the capacity to realize our desires in the world around us, we become more confident and aware of our own needs and interests. The same thing applies to cooking. Any time you eliminate the gap between production and consumption, you are moving in the direction of health.

The best part about cooking is the meal, and not just the eating. I use the word meal because it implies a social element. Sharing food is a way for us to reconnect with our communal nature and to make contact with other vital needs that are ignored or considered less than “essential” by the modern world. In my experience, the happiest cultures recognize the implicit connection between social harmony and shared meals. Take the Mediterranean world, for example. Hosts take the initiative, and guests are not allowed to self-serve. The goal is to establish a rapport and to break down the barriers that stand in the way of genuine connections. Would you like coffee or tea? How does the food taste? Is it salty enough? Sweet enough? Sour enough? In the context of a meal, valuable insight can be gained. Do they eat slow or fast? Do they put their elbows on the table? Are they particular or easygoing? And so, in these cultures, food and its prerequisites are a socially meaningful experience, and cooking can be a tool to create the connections that are so important to our well-being as a species.

You spent a part of this summer with the Amish. What did you take away from that experience?

I was struck first by the structured approach of the Amish. They pray before each meal starts and after each meal ends. They eat together, unlike most Americans. Compared to the Amish, my eating habits were a bit decadent, and I gained a reputation as something of a foodie. “You like to eat good, Frankie”, they always told me. I worked hard that summer, but I never took breaks shorter than an hour. Fortunately, the Amish like dessert, so they were also quite fond of afternoon naps.

To my mind, eating should be a pleasurable experience, not a mere transaction to gain the calories we need to survive. In the United States, there’s very little concept of quality. Everything is about quantity. We are always in a rush. And our relationship with food is mostly passive and consumptive. We have lost touch with what makes us feel good. And one of the things that makes us feel good is eating from our own labor and sharing the fruits of our effort with those around us. In the Arabic world, a greedy person is said to have a big stomach (baá¹­no kbir), while a virtuous person is said to “eat from his fatigue” (yakol min taÊ¿abo). This is something that is a lot easier to achieve on a farm, and it is one of the reason why I think the Amish are so content with their simple lifestyle.

What is your favorite dish to cook?

I don’t have a favorite dish, but my favorite utensil is bread. I love it, for example, when everyone eats from a common bowl or dish. Potlucks have a similar appeal. When we eat this way, we function in the context of other people and their needs, and this forces us to develop more self-awareness.

During the last year, a lot of people have taken up cooking as a hobby or cooked more due to the limitations of eating out. How has the pandemic affected your culinary habits? 

We saw the panic buying that took place. Every animal on the earth knows how to get food, except for people. When supply chains get disrupted, fear sets in. The Amish taught me a lot about hunting and agriculture. They know where food comes from because they live off of the land. Knowing how to produce your own food is not only empowering, it’s also vital to a well-lived life. There’s plenty of studies where lab animals demonstrate greater satisfaction upon acquiring their own food rather than having it delivered pre-packaged and pre-dosed. The less dependent I am on the marketplace, the more confident and healthy I feel.

What advice would you give people just learning how to cook or people with an interest in cooking but don’t know where to start?

Start with what you already know—everybody knows something—and cook only the meals that you like. If you cook something that you don’t like, either don’t cook it again or change how you prepare it. As you do this, your repertoire will expand. That’s it. If your really struggling, watch some videos online, and if you still can’t figure it out, you never will. Eat out or find a partner who likes to cook. You should also know every ingredient you put into your body. Stay away from processed foods.

The last thing I will say is if cooking feels like a chore, it’s probably because you are not working in harmony with your needs. You work mechanically and consume compulsively. This is a social problem that has no easy answers, and each person must find a solution suitable to their particular circumstances. Let food be your guide. If you have time to cook and share a meal, then you are moving in a direction of balance and stability. Lastly, don’t be so hard on yourself. Relax, and take your time.

Do you value your dreams? I’m not talking about your life goals and aspirations—which are extremely important—I’m talking about the artistic production of your subconscious mind after you fall asleep. In this article, I want to push back against the notion that dreams are meaningless, forgettable phenomenon, and share some pro tips for using them to promote physical and emotional healing via dream therapy.

The view that dreams represent no more than random electrical activity could only be proposed by people who have never remembered any of their emotionally significant ones. Most normal people are generally able to see the relevance of at least some of their nocturnal dramas. As stated above, while dreaming, the limbic region will usually be highly active. If we are dreaming about something unpleasant or threatening, this can be associated with feelings of anger which go with fight, the anxiety associated with flight, or the despair associated with freezing.

James Alexander, “The Hidden Psychology of Pain”

Have you ever noticed that dreams almost always carry an emotional charge? And I’m talking about the dreams that you remember. We all dream whether or not we remember. Dreams are an attempt by the subconscious mind to process our lived experiences. This is partially why sleep is so vital. When we don’t get adequate sleep, we are deprived of the healing power of dreams.

Dreams are the royal road to the unconscious.

Austrian Neurologist Sigmund Freud

Dream therapy is a healing modality dedicated to dream exploration and analysis. The idea is that by consciously remembering, writing down, and analyzing our dreams we can gain valuable insight into the emotional and physical stressors of our lives, thereby enabling us to better address unresolved issues. It helps to keep a journal or notepad close to the bed for this purpose because many dreams are forgotten after going back to sleep or proceeding with the day. There are also dream journal smart phone apps expressly for this purpose. If you don’t currently remember your dreams, start paying attention. Many people, including myself, have found that when they start paying attention to their dreams they are able to remember them with greater frequency.

People will often report that with this additional focus on dreams, their dream life becomes more active, emotionally alive, and vivid.

James Alexander, “The Hidden Psychology of Pain.”

In “The Hidden Psychology of Pain” Australian psychologist James Alexander dedicated chapter 11 to the “Healing Power of Dreams.” In it, he talks about how we dream during the REM stage (rapid eye-movement) and how this stage is crucial for mental health and cognition. People deprived of REM sleep due to lack of sleep, drug use, etc. exhibit deterioration in cognitive and emotional faculties. Mindbody doctors, like James Alexander, routinely promote dream awareness to resolve the emotional issues that lie at the heart of physical pain and ailments.

It may be that as we become more conscious of what is going on in our dream state, the emotional pressure that can drive chronic pain is finding another outlet for expression.

James Alexander, “The Hidden Psychology of Pain”

Alexander also dedicates a section of chapter 11 to “dream seeding.” Dream seeding is when we consciously bring unresolved issues to our mind before bed that we want our subconscious mind to work on as we sleep. We don’t try to solve the issues ourselves—we simply bring them to the fore.

[Dream seeding] is not so much telling your unconscious how to end a dream (resulting in a preferred outcome, or resolution), but is more about setting up the conditions for the dream to allow your natural healing capacities to come to the fore. Our mind/brain has an incredibly creative capacity for working out answers to emotional problems without our deliberate instruction. When preparing for bed, you can start the dream-seeding process by choosing to think about the situation or person, the place or incident which you feel is still unfinished or disturbing within you. There is no need to script or dictate what will happen in the dream, but you can think about key elements which you feel are highly relevant. Get a sense of what elements are the most important—people, places, situations, the time in your life, etc.

James Alexander, “The Hidden Psychology of Pain

Another term for dream seeding is dream incubation. Dream incubation famously has been used not only for healing, but for problem-solving. Here is a fascinating excerpt on dream incubation from Wikipedia (link).

In a study at Harvard Medical School, Dr. Deirdre Barret had her students focus on a problem, such as an unsolved homework assignment or other objective problem, before going to sleep each night for a week. She found that it was certainly possible to come up with novel solutions in dreams that were both satisfactory to the dreamer and rated as objectively solving the problem by an outside observer. In her study, two-thirds of participants had dreams that addressed their chosen problem and one-third reached some form of solution within their dreams.

Chapter 11 is rather lengthy and insightful. If you want to read more about the connection between the mind, emotions, and physical health, I recommend grabbing a copy of The Hidden Psychology of Pain. It is a massive book (~500 pages) written for non-experts that I have benefited extensively from over the years. Here are a couple more memorable quotes that shed insight on dream therapy for those just getting started.

You may need to think creatively about the symbolism inherent in your dreams. Some of your dreams will be quite literal, but many will be symbolic representations of other experiences which may or may not be readily apparent. Try to look for what the dream is representing, and use the emotions which are generated in the dreams as a clue. . .

James Alexander, “The Hidden Psychology of Pain”

When embarking on this process, it may also be that your dreams become more threatening or disturbing. With the help of the questions posed in the last chapter, there is a good chance that you are becoming more aware of past hurts and repressed emotions.

James Alexander, “The Hidden Psychology of Pain”

My primary motivation for dream therapy is physical and emotional healing. If that weren’t enough, Psych Central identified 7 benefits of the discipline: 1) conscious and subconscious balancing; 2) insight into mood; 3) exploring symbolism; 4) sparks creativity; 5) addressing chronic nightmares; 6) positive self-care ritual; and 7) internal conflict awareness (link).

Take that for what it’s worth.

Today I want to share an easy, yet powerful technique to improve mental health. It’s called somatic tracking. It’s simple, so let me break it down. Somatic refers to the body as distinct from the mind. Somatic tracking is about mindfully attending to our internal state and whatever bodily sensations we are experiencing in the moment with calm, curiosity and compassion. Those of you who meditate may already be doing this on a regular basis.

Wherein lies the power of somatic tracking? One, it communicates a message of safety to our entire organism. Picture a crying baby or a distraught child. The fastest way to cure their stress is reassurance on the part of a parent or loved one. When we experience anxiety or physical pain as adults, our body is sending out distress signals. We can’t help but hear the signal, like a crying baby, but we often don’t attend to it. When we mindfully attend to our body’s distress signals, our mind gets the message that it is safe to turn off the fight-or-flight response that feeds chronic stress and illness. In a word, you and I have the ability to console ourselves much like a parent consoles a child, or a friend consoles another friend.

Before you go, I want to share a few fascinating quotes from an article on somatic tracking written by Alan Gordon, a TMS Therapist who specializes in mindbody medicine. It was his work that introduced me to the concept several months ago. I recommend you check out the complete article on somatic tracking. It is an easy read and well-worth the time, as is the entire free 21-day healing program that it is a part of.

It feels wonderful just to be checked in on. It can make you feel cared about and attended to, and can remind you that you matter in this world. But many of us don’t check in on ourselves, and this subtle self-neglect can actually have many physical consequences.

Neuroscientists have found that mindfully attending to our bodily sensations can actually shrink the “fight or flight” center of our brains. Furthermore, this practice enables us to have better control over our brains’ processing of pain and emotions.

Somatic Tracking is the most important component of overcoming neural pathway pain. When you attend to your physical sensations mindfully — without fear, without judgment, and without motive — not only are you communicating safety, you’re giving yourself the message that you deserve to be treated in a loving way.

Until next time, happy somatic tracking.

[You can follow me on Twitter @creatorvilla.] Sometimes the emotional scars of living become so wrapped up in our identity that we cannot conceptualize life without them. It takes a tremendous amount of strength to process emotional trauma. In fact, I would say this is one of the great challenges of life that all must face sooner or later. Make no mistake—I’m talking about death, divorce, injury, disease, abuse, a breakup, and you can fill in the blank. Nothing can eradicate the pain of loss, but wisdom can be the difference between staying stuck in the past for a lifetime and finding the strength to move forward after a period of grief.

I’ve transcribed a poignant clip in which former US Navy Seal Jocko Willink addresses the topic of emotional pain in a way that only he can. (You may remember him from his July 4 feature last month on discipline equals freedom.) In the clip, Willink responds to a man who wrote-in about losing a child—obviously one of the worst traumas anyone could ever go through. However, much of Willink’s insight into pain has universal application. For example, Willink analogizes pain to waves, and I cannot think of a better metaphor. No matter how absolute and all-encompassing pain may feel at times, it is not the absolute truth. It is a wave—a true but partial expression of the sum total of who we are.

I’ve never experienced the loss of a child, and I can’t imagine how difficult that is. But one thing I do know from experience—the more courage with which I “ride the wave” of whatever it is I’m going through, the faster it tends to let up. And what emerges from that process is a stronger, more compassionate version of myself.

Transcript:

My wife and I suffered three weeks of turmoil, which included losing a child. How do I expedite that moment when we pick up ourselves–basically how to push through?

So the pain that’s going to come, it’s going to come in waves. At first, you won’t even notice that they’re waves because all the waves are going to be so close together, it’s going to feel like you are drowning in sorrow. You’re not going to get any air, and you’re not going to be able to escape that sadness.

That’s what the waves feel like at first. And then at some point there’s going to be a little break, just a little break. Just a little bit of light in the darkness. Something is going to make you smile. Something is going to make you laugh. Something is going to show you just a little bit of light.

And then another wave of pain is going to come back again, and it’s going to be strong, and you won’t have any control over it. All of a sudden, you’re going to be just crying uncontrollable. You won’t be able to say, “No, no. I’m in the light now. I’m smiling right now. I’m not going to go back there.” No, you’re not going to be able to control it, and that’s scary. You’re at the mercy of this ocean of sorrow.

But don’t let that scare you. Don’t let that scare you ’cause I’m telling you that that wave is going to subside again, and this is going to go on. It’s going to go on, and the waves–they will become weaker. And what you need to realize is just because the waves are becoming weaker, this doesn’t mean that you love your child less or you miss them less or that you aren’t crushed at their passing. It just means that you’re starting to be able to deal with it, which is what you’re supposed to do.

When you feel a little bit of a break, what you can do is you can row the boat. You can row the boat, and what I mean by that is start doing something productive to get your mind moving forward. Let’s sort out the drawers in the bedroom. Let’s vacuum. Let’s do something productive. If there’s something that distracts you, that’s fine. Do it. Let there be some calm in the water.

As the calm comes, also you’re going to find moments where it’s like you can have things that are going to bring all of the waves. And that’s OK, too. Bring on the waves. Go look at the pictures. Write down the memories. Read the letters. Read the notes. Read the emails. Remember, and then there’s that standard service. You’re going to do the memorial. You’re going to do the burial.

And when that’s over, let a little bit of more time go by. Give yourself another week of washing around. Of feeling that sorrow. Of letting the waves toss you around in the ocean.

But after another week, what you do is you go and you write a letter. You write a letter to your child, and you explain to them–explain to them how much they mean to you. Explain to them how heartbroken you are that they are gone, and then explain to them why you are going to carry on. And explain to them how in losing them, you have learned without a shred of doubt, how truly precious life is. And that they have taught you the immeasurable value of your own life and your family’s life.

And explain to them that you know. That you know that they loved you, and that you know that they would want more than anything for you to be happy and productive and impactful in the world. And explain in that letter, what you will do to make them proud by how you live your life.

Then take that letter, go to their grave, and read it to them. Then cry and kiss their soul. Tell them that you will see them on the other side. Then go–live your life. And those waves are still going to come, and there’s going to be pain, and there’s still going to be sorrow, but you go and live your life. Live it well. And make them proud.

[You can follow me on Twitter @creatorvilla.] Have you ever chased after something that didn’t satisfy you? We’ve all been there before. We set goals, and we achieved them, only to discover that they weren’t what we needed after all. Materialism is one of the most common values responsible for inspiring deficient life goals. If all we have to live for is a bigger house, car, or nicer pair of sneakers, then we are unlikely to ever experience true fulfillment.

Per his Wikipedia, Johann Hari is a Swiss-British journalist. He has written for syndicated publications including The Independent and The Huntington Post. Hari is author of Chasing the Scream: The Opposite of Addiction is Connection and Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression — and the Unexpected Solutions.

Today, I’ve transcribed a clip from The Joe Rogan Experience in which Hari expounds on the emptiness of materialism. He explains that there are two kinds of motivation in life–intrinsic and extrinsic. Intrinsic motivation comes from the enjoyment of an activity itself, while extrinsic motivation is transactional–we perform the activity to get something else out of it. An example of intrinsic motivation is playing piano because you love piano. An example of extrinsic motivation is playing piano to please your parents or impress a girl.

Hari argues that the more extrinsically motivated we are, the more likely we are to experience depression and anxiety. Our culture, he laments, is overrun with extrinsic motivation in the form of people-pleasing, image-conscious behaviors–a manifestation of junk values. Junk values, Hari argues, are exacerbated by social media. According to Hari, the remedy for junk values is knowledge. By educating people on the art of happiness, people will develop intrinsic values more in line with their well-being. More controversially, Hari suggests that top-down ad regulation is another importance piece of the puzzle, and idea that Rogan pushes back against on the grounds that it violates free speech.

Check out the thought-provoking video and transcript, and let me know where you stand down below.

Transcript:

Hari: Nobody had ever scientifically investigated this until an incredible guy I got to know called Professor Tim Kasser, who’s at Knox College in Illinois. And Professor Kasser made some really important breakthroughs in this. There’s two ways–everyone listening to your show has two kinds of motivation in their life–we’re all a mixture of both. Imagine if you play the piano in the morning because you love playing the piano–it gives you joy. That would be what’s called an intrinsic reason to play the piano. You’re not doing it to get anything out of it, that’s the thing you love. Jiu Jitsu is like that for you, writing is like that for me. Everyone will have something in their life that gives them joy as they do it, right.

Now imagine you play the piano not because you love it but because your parents are massively pressuring you. It’s their dream for you. Or at a dive bar that you can’t stand to pay the rent. Or to impress a woman. That would be what’s called an extrinsic motivation to play the piano. You’re not doing it because that thing gives you joy, you’re doing it to get something further down the line. Now obviously we’re all a mixture of both, but Professor Kasser showed a couple of really interesting things.

Firstly, the more you are driven by extrinsic values, the more your intrinsic values are starved, the more likely you are to become depressed and anxious by quite a significant amount. He also showed as a culture, as a society, we have become much more driven by these junk values. We’ve become much more driven–think about how Instagram makes you feel. We’ve become much more driven by this hollow external sense. . .

A little while ago it was Elton John’s last night at Caesar’s Palace, an amazing thing to be at, and about half the room is filming it–not even looking at Elton John, just watching it through their phone. That’s a small example, but you can see what they’re doing. In order to display their life, to invite envy from other people, they are not living their life. No one wants to watch your sh*tty video of Elton John. There’s thousands of videos of Elton John that are much better than yours. Why are you doing that? You are never going to watch it either. You are doing it to say to other people, “Envy me.” It doesn’t make you feel good in that room, it actually makes you feel worse. You’re not enjoying the experience, and it makes them feel like sh*t because you’re trying to invite envy in your friends.

That’s a small example of a much wider thing, of a kind of junk values that have taken over. The reason that relates to what you’re asking about Brazil is that Professor Kasser has shown that there’s two sets of solutions to these junk values that have taken over our minds. One is–it’s like f*cking air pollution–get the messaging out of your head. More 18-month-old children know what the McDonalds M means than know their own surname, their own last name. Professor Kasser put it to me–from the moment we’re born, we’re immersed in a machine that is designed to get us to neglect what is important about life. None of you listening to this will lie on their death beds and think about all the sh*t they bought and all the likes they got on Instagram. They’ll think about moments of meaning and connection. That’s like a banal, obvious thing, but we’re constantly pushed to not think in those terms, to think about show it off, buy, spend. These junk values have taken over our minds, so part of the solution is just f*cking get rid of most of this advertising, get rid of most of this very tightly regulated. . .

Rogan: But in doing so, you limit commerce, you’re limiting people’s ability to sell things. You’re changing the current market that a lot of people don’t have any problem with.

Hari: I know this is a heresy in the United States, but limiting commercial speech is fine by me.

Rogan: I think it’s fascinating, I think it’s a fascinating discussion, but in a sense it’s limiting free speech as well. And we have a real problem with that. The problem with it is as soon as you start to put any regulations at all. You say, “You shouldn’t be allowed to advertise,” even if it’s advertising honestly about a great product, people will have real issues with that.

Hari: We already have advertising regulation. You can’t put an ad saying “I’ve found the cure for cancer.”

Rogan: That’s what I’m saying, honestly.

Hari: I would argue this is a tightening. For example, in London there was a controversy a little while back. There was a billboard of an impossibly hot woman and an impossibly hot man, and the billboard said something like, “Are you beach-body ready?” The clear implication being if you don’t look like these people who you’ll never f*cking look like, you’re not ready to go to the beach. And the Mayor of London Sadiq Khan said you can’t do this.

Rogan: But that’s so silly. I mean it’s not an unobtainable ideal, you’re looking at two examples of it. They’re real human beings. Look, I’m not saying that you have to be that way, but if you do want to look that man and have that body, it is a possible goal.

Hari: It’s not possible for the vast majority of people.

Rogan: If they don’t have the time or the effort, it’s not. But very many people have radically changed their body. I’m not saying that you have to do it, I’m not saying you should do it. But it is a possible thing to do. And if you’re trying to sell fitness, wouldn’t you sell an example of someone who’s really good at it. Like if you’re trying to sell a business course, wouldn’t you show a guy with a giant house and a Ferrari. This is a guy who’s done really well at business. Look at his penthouse apartment overlooking Manhattan. You wouldn’t say, “Well, that’s an impossible goal. I’m going to show you a person in a middle-class suburb because this is as good as you’re going to get.”

Hari: I think that’s a fair point. I think there are two things going on, isn’t there. There’s the freedom of people to market what they want to do, and there’s. . .

Rogan: It’s a nanny-state issue that people have a problem with. By saying these are impossible-to-achieve body goals. . .

Hari: We already have regulation of these things. And people don’t call that a nanny-state thing.

Rogan: We have regulation, but I don’t think this is a good example.

Hari: What’s a better example–Professor Kasser said there’s two sets of solutions to these junk values problems. There’s “Get the contaminants out of the atmosphere sort of thing,” which he says is actually a weaker one than the second set of solutions. So how do we stop people being pumped full of bullsh*t values. .

Rogan: Educate them on what is happening to them and make it less appealing.

Hari: And this is the second part. And you’ve got to what I think was the most important part of the research that Professor Kasser did. He was working with a guy called Nathan Dungan–who I interviewed. Nathan is a financial advisor in Minneapolis, and his job was to work with adults who were having trouble budgeting, and explain budgeting to them and help them do it. And he gets a job from a school. It was a kind-of middle class school–wasn’t super rich, wasn’t poor, it was middle class, where they’re having a problem. The kids at the school we’re becoming obsessed with getting like the latest Nike sneakers or the latest iPhone or whatever it was. And if the parents couldn’t afford it, the kids were really freaking out.

So they said to Nathan, would you just come in and explain budgeting to these kids. So Nathan goes in and he tries to explain budgeting, and he quickly realized these kids don’t give a sh*t about budgeting, there’s something else going on here. They are so obsessed with getting these things. So with Professor Kasser, he designs this program that led to a really interesting breakthrough, and it’s something people can try at home. You don’t have to do it in this context. And you can do it just as adults, but they did it with parents and they’re teenagers.

They come in, once every couple of weeks, for I think 4 months. The first meeting they had, they just said, “Write a list of everything you have got to have.” They didn’t define that. And people, of course, say like a home, a car, whatever. But quite quickly people would say Nike sneakers. The parents would name expensive things. “Tell me how you would feel if you got these Nike sneakers.” And very rarely, I don’t think any of them were like basketball players where it was like “I need to jump,” or whatever, if that’s the right phrase. Almost immediately they would say, “I’d be accepted by the group. People would envy me.” These insights are just beneath the surface. Who put that idea in your head? Where did you get that idea? Of course, everybody thinks they’re smarter than the ad, but giving people the ability just to see how hollow those junk values are–that was the first part.

The second part was much more interesting and took longer. Then they would have in future sessions–they’d say, “Given that has not actually made you feel better, what are moments in your life when you have felt satisfied, happy, in a flow state? What are things that are meaningful to you?” A whole range of things. Playing sports, playing music. Reading–whatever it was. They said, “How can we build more of that in to your life and less of these junk values? How could you do more of this every week and just meeting–we don’t have these conversations in our culture very often–just meeting once every couple of weeks and checking in with each other.

Actually I managed to play guitar for an hour every day. I managed on Saturday to take my kid to the beach, and we went.

Rogan: That’s going to stifle materialism?

Hari: What it led to, monitored by Professor Kasser, it led to significant shifts in people’s values. They had a significant decrease in junk values, and a significant increase in more meaningful intrinsic values. And we know that that correlates with lower depression and anxiety over time. The weird thing is I sometimes feel like with both of my books–Chasing the Scream and Lost Connections–I sometimes feel like I’m giving people permission to know the thing they already know.