The average person in the 21st century is bombarded with negative media on the daily. I’m talking about politics, crime, gossip, and marketing that preys on human psychology. Everybody has an agenda, but is that agenda in our best interest? What if, instead of blindly going with the flow and feeding our worst instincts, we went out of our way to circulate positive media? I bet we would all be a little less neurotic and a little more grateful for the lives that we live. That’s the gap I hope to bridge in this article.

This week I called up my good friend, Jeffrey Hawthorne, to enlighten me with the good taking place in the world. Jeffrey has spent the better part of the last 5 years in the business world. He is the Founder and President of Take Courage International (TCI), a non-profit based out of Honduras. In this article, Jeffrey elaborates on the charitable work being done by TCI, and the role that vision and faith have played in his personal evolution. For him, the motto is “one step at a time,” trusting that the right process will yield the desired outcome. I hope by the end of the page, you feel a little more compassionate and in-tune with what truly matters in life, as this is the effect our 90-minute conversation had on me.

Take Courage exists to change the future of children and leaders around the world by meeting needs and unlocking potential.

TCI Mission Statement

Tell the people a little bit about yourself.  

I live in Columbus, Ohio, with my wife Fabiola of almost two years. I studied business in college, and currently work in banking and finance as a Portfolio Manager. I have entrepreneurial ambitions that are still in development. My true passion, however, lies in the charitable work that I’m involved in. It is what gives me energy and makes my heart come alive. Due to the demands of my current job, I have to make time for it in the evenings and on the weekends.

When did the thought first occur to you, “I want to start a foundation!”

I remember one day I was sitting in a college class. It was a liberal arts theology requirement. That day, I started dreaming of founding a non-profit that did all sorts of different things. The non-profit would serve as a food bank, a homeless shelter, a boys and girls club. It would teach classes and offer skills training. It might have a church or ministry associated with it. I envisioned a large campus that would serve as a home for these activities. This is my first recollection, back in the spring of 2014.

How long did it take the vision to reach fruition?

The foundation was an outgrowth of mission trips we were taking to Honduras. I started going twice a year with a team of people from my church. These trips were evangelical in nature. A fellow team member, Avery, suggested we add a philanthropic dimension to the work being done, that could serve the population both while we were there and after we had left. The team decided to focus on one poor village we were acquainted with, Nueva Esperanza, located in Santa Barbara, Honduras. We conducted healing clinics, complete with prayer and medical supplies, and a nurse practitioner accompanied us on our trips. We also raised money from our church to sponsor needy children. Local pastors identified the children with the greatest need. The money went toward clothing, school supplies, Christmas and birthday cards, and occasional medical screens. Kids in the program would leave school and go to the church to eat lunch. Altogether, we started sponsoring around 15 kids.

While all of this was going on, I got the opportunity to meet with Nelson Castellanos, who was El Presidente de Municipalidades, a local mayor who had 16 villages under his jurisdiction. We chatted and prayed in his office. Recognizing the impact of our work, Mr. Castellanos later committed his office to providing lunches to an additional 250 children in 2017. This was confirmation of the work we were doing and motivated us to keep moving forward.

In February of 2018, I took action to formalize our work through Ohio’s Secretary of State Office. Operating under an official organization would provide structure and integrity. It would give people an accountable way to give and create mechanisms for assessing the execution of our mission. It was the logical next step.

As for the organization today, it consists of a President, Vice President, Secretary and Treasury. I occupy the first and last roles, while my friends Avery and Hannah are Vice President and Secretary, respectively. Everyone contributes on a volunteer basis, with the exception of a field program coordinator and local pastor who receives a modest stipend.

What was the hardest part getting started?

When you found a non-profit, you are required by the government to draft bylaws and articles of incorporation, addressing the who, what, where, when, and why aspects of the organization. I didn’t find this part particularly challenging. However, due to a misunderstanding of terms, I made the mistake of classifying the organization as a private entity rather than a public one when filing with the IRS to receive nonprofit status. I reached out to an accountant who agreed to help us out pro bono, and it still ended up taking several months in limbo and costing us around $500 to get the designation corrected. This sum was in addition to the original $500 we paid to get the organization incorporated and considered a 501(c)(3).

You were born and raised in the American Midwest. TCI is based out of Honduras. When did you know you had a heart for Central America?  

In the beginning, it had more to do with need and opportunity. A missionary friend from my church, who had lived in Honduras for years, opened up a door for us to start accompanying him on trips. That initial connection led to new doors being opened and new relationships being developed that outgrew the original ones. As I got more involved, my love for the people there took on a life of its own. Honduras is also where I met my wife, Fabiola, in the capital city of Tegucigalpa, through the work we were doing.

In November of 2020, Hurricane Eta (Category 4) and Hurricane Iota (Category 5) swept through large parts of Central America, including Honduras, leaving behind hundreds of deaths, widespread property destruction, and around $10 billion in overall damages. Can you talk about the role TCI played in the disaster relief effort?

Local infrastructure and buildings were highly susceptible to flooding. In a lot of Honduran homes, the floors are not sealed to the doors, and so light rain can penetrate, let alone rain of a torrential variety. You can imagine the hurricanes sweeping through towns, destroying cars, homes, and neighborhoods. The landscape didn’t stand a chance.

The relationships we had built in the country enabled us to respond in a timely fashion. It started with my in-laws’ church in Tegucigalpa. They donated clothes, beds, jackets—anything they could bring to people in need. Tegucigalpa is located in the South. Most of the damage took place in the North, in an area called La Lima, close to the airport. Businesses in the capital and places that had not been ravaged donated commercial-grade trucks for transport. As for TCI, we launched an aggressive fundraising campaign, letting people know what was going on and that we were making plans to help. Mind you, we had to think on the fly, as this this wasn’t something we had prepared to handle.

We deposited the money into the country in three waves. The first wave, accounting for the majority of donations, came within 48 hours, and the second came within a week. Both of them went toward food. We discovered that for $15, we could feed a family of 5 for 15 days. We worked with local grocers to source the food and created a care package with basic foodstuffs like pasta, rice, and beans. In this way, we were able to support local business and people that had been affected by the disaster in different ways. In the end, with additional financial support from two local churches in Honduras, we were able to raise enough money to supply 90,000 meals. We also assembled bags of baby formula and diapers for mothers and babies. We ended up doing 200 of those.

TCI donated the third wave of money, which came in throughout the month, to people whose homes were still standing but had lost everything inside. We had a connection with pastors in the city of Comayagua, who had already begun this work and were responsible for administering the aid.

It seems to me that most people are really busy with their lives, trying to keep up with their personal goals and obligations. Some have good intentions when it comes to others, but don’t make the time to reach out. Any advice for us—how do you balance the charity work you do with the responsibilities of your private life?

The first thing I will say is I’ve definitely struggled with finding the time myself. I partially fit the definition of having good intentions but letting other obligations get in the way. The last two years, I’ve moved twice, gotten married, done many things that have taken time away from the good that I could be doing, all the while dealing with my own life processes and emotions.

There are times when I may not feel like it, I may not want to, I may think up any number of excuses. In those times, I remind myself of the vision, which gives me the motivation to keep going. The vision of TCI is in line with what I believe my life purpose is, to feed the nations in spirit, in soul, and in body. In addition, I have found that moving forward with the work is always in my own best interest, even amidst personal life challenges. When I waste time pursuing fruitless endeavors, it only exacerbates whatever I may be going through, while philanthropic work tends to have the opposite effect.

That was the macro-level answer. On the micro-level, I think of the individual lives being impacted, the names and faces of children that we are sponsoring. I think of Enrique and Evelyn and Jeysi. Organization and management are important, but you never want to lose touch with the individual because that’s what it’s ultimately all about.

Where do you envision TCI 5-10 years from now? Do you have any intention of changing or growing the mission? 

First and foremost will always be feeding the children and taking care of their basic needs. Also, I want to teach children how to dream. About a better future. About who they can be and what they can accomplish in life.

One goal of mine is to develop a curriculum, entitled What I Can Be. A lot of people in underdeveloped areas, often rural, have a narrow concept of what they can go on to do, informed by the constraints of their immediate environment. They may be able to envision 4 or 5 career paths—field work, construction, ministry, medicine, education—that’s pretty much it. And some may aspire to work in the car industry. The heart behind this idea is to acquaint kids from a young age with the abundance of opportunities out there. When they’re 5, it may be as simple as instilling the idea, “Oh, cool. I can be an engineer.” As they get older, we would teach them the specifics of different occupations and connect them with the educational and financial resources to pursue them. Instead of a few possibilities, we multiply that by a factor of 10. Scientists, lawyers, engineers, politicians, accountants, and so on and so forth. This is how you impact society from the bottom up.

I also want to connect with local leaders working in their communities to bring about societal transformation. There are many such people, doing much good, who already have a vision for what transformation looks like. In developing countries, you often get these well-meaning people who come from the West with their money and dictate to the locals what they need to do. “Hey, this is what change is going to look like.” I have found, though, that partnering with local leaders, who have real influence and insight, is a preferable way of going about it. This is what I would call top-down impact. When you impact children from the bottom up and leaders from the top down, transformation in the whole of society is the natural outcome.

I should add that I want the work to grow and expand in an organic fashion. To my mind, material and relational growth should go hand in hand. Before we increase the number of kids we sponsor and expand into other domains, we want to master the processes, procedures, and relationships that are already in place. We also don’t need the added pressure of forcing anything that may not be a good fit. Having said that, more sponsorships, more medical and healing clinics, microloans for businesses, scholarships, etc. would all be amazing to see.

Eventually, I also want to expand outside of Honduras. I have no geographic region or timetable in mind, and will stick to my policy of letting things play out organically, relationally, to the best of my abilities. Ideally, we will be able to adapt some of what we’ve learned into any new mission fields. The goal is to take it one step at a time with the belief that eventually these steps will lead us around the world.

Anything else you want to say to the people reading this?

Whatever things make you heart come alive, whatever things you find purpose in–Do more of those things. You don’t need to know all of the answers before you take the first step. And you can continue taking steps without knowing all of the answers. Also, it is alright to stumble, just get back up and keep taking more steps. Visit the website if you want to get involved or discover more information about who we are and what we do.

Be the person who breaks the cycle. If you were judged, choose understanding. If you were rejected, choose acceptance. If you were shamed, choose compassion. Be the person you needed when you were hurting, not the person who hurt you. Vow to be better than what broke you—to heal instead of becoming bitter so you can act from your heart, not your pain.

If you want to be at peace, practice radical acceptance. If you want to be uncommon, practice radical forgiveness. If you want to be powerful, practice radical love. If you want to be happy, do all three.

Today I want to share an easy, yet powerful technique to improve mental health. It’s called somatic tracking. It’s simple, so let me break it down. Somatic refers to the body as distinct from the mind. Somatic tracking is about mindfully attending to our internal state and whatever bodily sensations we are experiencing in the moment with calm, curiosity and compassion. Those of you who meditate may already be doing this on a regular basis.

Wherein lies the power of somatic tracking? One, it communicates a message of safety to our entire organism. Picture a crying baby or a distraught child. The fastest way to cure their stress is reassurance on the part of a parent or loved one. When we experience anxiety or physical pain as adults, our body is sending out distress signals. We can’t help but hear the signal, like a crying baby, but we often don’t attend to it. When we mindfully attend to our body’s distress signals, our mind gets the message that it is safe to turn off the fight-or-flight response that feeds chronic stress and illness. In a word, you and I have the ability to console ourselves much like a parent consoles a child, or a friend consoles another friend.

Before you go, I want to share a few fascinating quotes from an article on somatic tracking written by Alan Gordon, a TMS Therapist who specializes in mindbody medicine. It was his work that introduced me to the concept several months ago. I recommend you check out the complete article on somatic tracking. It is an easy read and well-worth the time, as is the entire free 21-day healing program that it is a part of.

It feels wonderful just to be checked in on. It can make you feel cared about and attended to, and can remind you that you matter in this world. But many of us don’t check in on ourselves, and this subtle self-neglect can actually have many physical consequences.

Neuroscientists have found that mindfully attending to our bodily sensations can actually shrink the “fight or flight” center of our brains. Furthermore, this practice enables us to have better control over our brains’ processing of pain and emotions.

Somatic Tracking is the most important component of overcoming neural pathway pain. When you attend to your physical sensations mindfully — without fear, without judgment, and without motive — not only are you communicating safety, you’re giving yourself the message that you deserve to be treated in a loving way.

Until next time, happy somatic tracking.

[You can follow me on Twitter @creatorvilla.] I see at least two ways of interpreting this statue: one, the sacrifice parents make to build the lives of their children; and two, the giving of parents to their children what nobody ever gave them. This is the definition of grace– when we give others what they do not deserve or what we cannot reasonable be expected to give. FYI, I couldn’t find any info on the artist. If you know it, drop a comment down below and I will make the proper attribution.

EDIT: The artist’s name is Chad Knight.

[You can follow me on Twitter @creatorvilla.] The sequence in the title comes from a famous Bedouin proverb. The jBedouin were militarized Arab nomads who inhabited the deserts of Jordan, Syria, Iraq, and Saudi Arabia prior to the development and sedentarization of the early 20th century. The proverb captured how human beings have conducted themselves for the great majority of recorded history. Human beings are tribal, and the basic unit of the tribe is the immediate family. Beyond the immediate family, people form loyalty ties based on kinship. However, there is a problem with this system. First of all, it implies people are always in conflict with others. And second, it implies that every human being will have an enemy in the great majority of people on earth. Indian-American novelist and author of The Sweetness of Tears, Nafisa Haji, captures some of this tension.

There is an old Arab Bedouin saying: I, against my brothers. I and my brothers against my cousins. I my brothers and my cousins against the world. That is jungle law. It is the way of the world when the world is thrown into chaos. It is our job to avert that chaos, to fight against it, to resist the urge to become savage. Because the problem with such law is that if you follow it, you are always fighting against someone.

Nafisa Haji, The Sweetness of Tears

Fortunately, most of us live in ordered societies where our immediate survival is not at stake. We don’t have to walk around with the same level of distrust as the ancients, knowing that the probability of us losing our lives or our livelihood is meager. But the remnants of old ways of evolved thinking die hard. And the seed of distrust is still strong within the human race. This seed manifests as anger, hatred, selfishness, and a desire to harm the person of others even using all non-physical means possible. It is this internally driven chaos that can wreak havoc in even the most ordered external environments.

The way to overcome the law of the jungle isn’t simply to create better government. That will only limit the scope for internal chaos to manifest as outright violence. The way to overcome the law of the jungle is to cultivate an inner love for other people. This is much easier said than done. What reason does anyone have to love others? There are multiple ways of answering this question.

Spirituality—my faith is a powerful anchor in my life. I believe that all people were created in the image of God. This gives me a reason to strive to love everyone, even if I fall short the majority of the time. Spirituality is an anchor for a lot of people. But there are non-spiritual approaches that work toward the same end.

A sense of universal connection—The consciousness that all living things are connected such that the well-being of each of us affects other people. Every instance of an innocent person being victimized by crime is a reminder of this principle. But universal connection works in an opposite manner as well. People who follow good laws, innovate solutions to problems, and show kindness make the world a better place for others. There are myriad philosophical and material goods that we take for granted in the world, like the belief of universal equality and the opportunity to live a much better material life relative to the rest of the world. These were gifted to us by others.

Humanism—a theoretical framework a core belief of which is that human beings are capable of great good when placed in the right environment. Each individual has fundamental value and can learn to behave in a way that maximizes the overall welfare of the species. Humanism works best the more people that are on board—it is a mutual decision to further collective interests and is more specific than a universal sense of connection. Its focus on humanity and optimism about the potential of the human species distinguish it from other approaches.

Karma, sowing and reaping, or the law of reciprocity—These concepts share the idea that how people treat others sooner or later has an effect on their own life. Sometimes the concept has religious overtones, but it can be understood purely through a secular lens. The law of reciprocity holds that people tend to treat others the same way that others treat them. But there is a way of understanding the psychological benefit of showing love independent of whether said love is returned. A Biblical Proverb illustrates my point:

A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself

Proverbs 11:17

The Arab proverb cited above is the diagnosis of a problem. A problem at the level of ideas and norms that is responsible for the currently fractured state of human affairs. Surely, there must be a better way of interfacing with the world.

Most people take for granted that “Love is all you need.” But when it boils down to the fine detail that makes all the difference, it’s a lot less crystal. What is love? Is it the love we give or the love we receive that matters most? I don’t claim to be an expert on love, although I did publish an article on creating love with the power of the mind. To answer these questions, I thought it would make sense to consult somebody who’s lived almost 90 years and made a career out of rehabilitating drug addicts.

I’ve transcribed a short clip in which Rabbi Abraham Twerski adds his drop to the bucket of perspectives on love. I thought his fish analogy was really thought-provoking, and I find myself agreeing with his main point–true love is about giving not receiving. How do you define true love?

Transcript:

“Young man, why are you eating that fish?” The young man says “Because I love fish.” The man says “Oh, you love the fish. That’s why you took it out of the water and killed it and boiled.” He says “Don’t tell me you love the fish, you love yourself. And because the fish tastes good to you–therefore you took it out of the water and killed it and boiled it.”

So much of what is love is fish love. A young couple falls in love. A young man and a young woman fall in love, what does that mean? That means that he saw in this woman someone who he felt could provide him with all of his physical and emotional needs. And she saw in this man somebody she feels she can write–that was love. But each one is looking out for their own needs. It’s not love for the other. The other becomes a vehicle for my gratification.

Too much of what is called love is fish love. An external love is not what I’m going to get but what I’m going to give. We had an ethicist–Rabbi Dessler–who said “People make a serious mistake in thinking that you give to those whom you love. And the real answer is you love those to whom you give.” And his point is if I give something to you, I’ve invested myself in you. And since self-love is a given–everybody loves themselves. Now that part of me has become in you, there’s part of me in you that I love. So true love is a love of giving, not a love of receiving.

I’ve made a point of periodically sharing quality music with an uplifting message that I think can enrich people’s lives. There’s so much sound pollution out there you really have to use a filter if you want to remain in the driver’s seat. Right now one of my favorite songs is “Brother” by Seneca, South Carolina-based, Grammy-award-winning band, NeedToBreathe. The song is about the love and loyalty of a brother. The song begins with the premise that we all need others we can depend on to help us weather life’s storms. The artist affirms his willingness to fulfill that role and be a rock of refuge for his brother. Whether the brother is a blood relationship or a close friend the message is one and the same: united we stand, divided we fall. You can find the complete lyrics (courtesy of Genius) and the music video down below. Enjoy.

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24

Lyrics:

[Verse 1: NEEDTOBREATHE]
Ramblers in the wilderness we can’t find what we need
We get a little restless from the searching
Get a little worn down in between
Like a bull chasing the matador is the man left to his own schemes
Everybody needs someone beside em’ shining like a lighthouse from the sea

[Chorus: NEEDTOBREATHE]
Brother, let me be your shelter
Never leave you all alone
I can be the one you call
When you’re low
Brother, let me be your fortress
When the night winds are driving on
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home

[Verse 2: Gavin Degraw]
Face down in the desert now there’s a cage locked around my heart
I found a way to drop the keys where my failures were
Now my hands can’t reach that far
I ain’t made for rivalry I could never take the world alone
I know that in my weakness I am strong
But it’s your love that brings me home

[Chorus: NEEDTOBREATHE]
Brother, let me be your shelter
Never leave you all alone
I can be the one you call
When you’re low
Brother, let me be your fortress
When the night wheels are driving on
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home

[Bridge: Gavin DeGraw]
And when you call
And need me near
Say it where’d you go
Brother, I’m right here
And on those days
When the sky begins to fall
You’re the blood of my blood
We can get through it all

[Chorus: NEEDTOBREATHE]
Brother, let me be your shelter
Never leave you all alone
I could be the one you call
When you’re feeling low
Brother, let me be your fortress
When the night wheels are driving on
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home
Brother, let me be your shelter
Never leave you all alone
I can be the one you call
When you’re low
Brother, let me be your fortress
When the night wheels are driving on
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home

Somehow we’ve come to equate success with not needing anyone. Many of us are willing to extend a helping hand, but we’re very reluctant to reach out for help when we need it ourselves. It’s as if we’ve divided the world into “those who offer help” and “those who need help.” The truth is that we are both.

Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimise the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.