It’s amazing what you can learn about someone when you give them an opportunity to talk about their past. This observation is especially true of immigrants, whose stories transcend borders, oceans, and cultural homogeneity. As it relates to the US, its historical and present-day status as a hot spot for immigrants is a well-established phenomenon. Among the biggest drivers of immigration to the US today are religious and political freedom, economic opportunity, and a desire to be closer to family. Whether you like to think of the US as a unicultural melting pot or a multicultural salad bowl, the fact remains that there are nearly as many immigrant stories as there are people.

June is Caribbean-American Heritage Month. In 2006, Congress and the White House adopted this observance in order to “celebrat[e] the rich Caribbean heritage and the many ways in which Caribbean Americans have helped shape this Nation” (source). This week, I visited Brittney Judhan, a longtime family friend and neighbor, to learn about her colorful experiences as a first-generation immigrant to the US. Brittney grew up in Trinidad & Tobago before moving to Columbus, Ohio, at age 8. After graduating high school, Brittney worked for the family-owned business—Eternal Salon & Spa—as a cosmetologist, hair stylist and business manager for more than a decade.

I hope you enjoy the following account of a fascinating 90-minute interview conducted in-person. You can catch Brittney on Instagram @my_sunshine 

Tell the people a little bit about yourself.

My name is Brittney. I’m 29 years old. I am the second oldest of three siblings. I have an older brother and a younger sister. I love the outdoors and spending time with family. I’m a semi-retired hair stylist, and I’m the best auntie in the world.

My family is from Trinidad, but I was born in New Jersey. My mom traveled to the US before I was born so that I would have American citizenship, but I was raised in Trinidad. When I was 8 years old, my family moved to Columbus, Ohio, which is where I currently live.

What was it like growing up in the Caribbean?

It was perfect. It was magical. It was great weather all the time. Sunshine, hanging out with friends and family. The food was amazing. I felt like we were always around family and always spending time outdoors. Even the school building was designed in a way that breezes were always coming in from outside. There was also a pool at the house that we would swim in.

I had one best friend, Kelcie. On the weekend, I would always go to Kelcie’s house, or she would come to my house. A lot of my memories from Trinidad were with Kelcie and her family.

Was your family indigenous to Trinidad or did they arrive there as immigrants? 

My dad’s side of the family is Indian. I don’t know the whole story, but I know there were Indian indentured laborers who came to Trinidad in the 19^th century to work on sugar plantations. There’s a holiday in Trinidad, Indian Arrival Day, that some people celebrate to commemorate the arrival of these workers. As far as my mom’s side of the family, a volcanic eruption took place on the nearby Caribbean island of Martinique, and so her grandfather and his family fled to Trinidad.

We literally have every kind of people in Trinidad. There are Indians. There are Muslims. There are people of African origin. And they all tend to hang out together in their own communities.

You moved to the US when you were 8 years old. What was that transition like? 

I remember I could not say Ohio for some reason. I thought we were moving to Hawaii. I literally told everybody I was moving to Hawaii. We have family in New Jersey, so we flew into New Jersey first, and we stayed with family for a week or two. We bought a van, and then drove from New Jersey to Ohio.

My parents picked Ohio because of World Harvest Church. They knew that this was the central location they wanted to be in. My dad had enrolled in the Bible college and he liked the fact that they had a Christian academy for the kids. When we first got to Ohio, we stayed at a motel—Econo Lodge—while we were looking for a house. It must have been for no more than a few months, but as a kid it felt like we were there for a very long time.

This whole time, I’m thinking, “We’re coming to America. Things are bigger and better than what is on the small island of Trinidad.” In Ohio, I came to a hard reality that a) we moved there in the dead of winter, so it was freezing cold. And b) we were living in a motel. I went from living in a mansion in Trinidad to a motel in the US.

I think I got my ideas about the US from TV. Watching TV, I got the impression that everything in America is bigger and better. When we were living in Trinidad, my dad would also go on business trips to the US, and he would come back with these amazing gifts from America. He would buy me and my sister the biggest teddy bears, and I would think, “This teddy bear came from America, it’s so big.”

Back in Ohio, my parents ended up buying this small house. The reason they bought it was because it was close to the church. My parents promised us we would only be living in America for three years, and then we would go back to Trinidad. And so I thought “I can handle this, it’s only three years.” My siblings and I would often joke that we moved from a mansion to a motel to a dollhouse.

After three years went by, my parents decided that we were going to stay in America until my siblings and I graduated high school. Eventually, we retired the small doll house and purchased a bigger house in Pickerington, which is when we became your neighbor. At that point, I thought, “We have space again, so living in America isn’t that bad.” I had my own room for the first time, which was amazing.

You recently got a DNA test—were there any bombshell revelations? 

I am predominantly Asian– 51% Southern Indian and 39% Northern Indian. I knew I had some Indian in me, but I didn’t realize just how much. I thought I would have more African in me, but as it turns out, I am only 2 or 3% Western and Southern African (Togo, Nigeria, Benin). I am also like 1% Italian. My mom would always say that we have European in us, talk about how she’s half-European, and I always laughed at her. “Mom, you are not any type of European. Get out of here.”

When I got the results back, I was surprised we had any European at all. I thought I would have some kind of Spanish or Latin American roots because of how her side of the family looks. My dad looks Indian, but my mom does not.

What’s it like when you go back to visit? 

It’s very weird to me, and a little bit sad because I wish I was more in touch with my Trinidad roots. I just feel a little out of place sometimes, especially because of the way I talk and not knowing my way around. But once I’m around family, I feel very happy. In Trinidad, they have a very strong accent, and I do not have an accent at all. After I speak, the locals treat me like a tourist. They don’t give me the hook-up because I’m an American. There is a lot of Trini slang that I understand, but I don’t feel comfortable using it because I don’t have the accent and I didn’t grow up there.

Our relatives still live in Trinidad, and we still have the same house we grew up in. Whenever we go back, it’s very nostalgic. I do remember when I first went back to the house, everything seemed smaller, but that’s because I was grown up. Now that I’m older and can buy my own plane ticket, I try to visit every two years for a few weeks.

What is one thing people don’t know about Trinidad? 

Literally no one knows where its located. Trinidad is off the coast of Venezuela. It is the last Caribbean island. And the equator runs straight through it, so it’s hot all year round.

People also assume that Trinidad is really touristy because it’s an island. It isn’t. The most touristy time of the year is carnival, which lasts about a week. It’s like this big long party. Trinidad’s sister island, Tobago, is a much bigger tourist destination. 

Your family is known for being really high energy. Is this more of a Judhan thing, or would you say Caribbean culture is a factor? 

It’s definitely a Caribbean culture thing. I’m almost positive that Caribbean culture is just naturally loud. We are a very energetic people and a very passionate people, I would say. We just want to enjoy life. People in Trinidad either work too hard or play too hard–it’s always one or the other.  

Your family has operated a salon in Pickerington, Ohio—Eternal Salon & Spa—for as long as I can remember. How did your family get involved in the beauty business? 

It started with my paternal grandmother. I don’t know how she got started, but I know she had a hair salon and cosmetology school in Trinidad. That’s actually how my mom and dad met—my mom attended my grandma’s cosmetology school. My dad got involved in the hair industry because of my grandma and wanted to help her further the business. They created a hair product line, Eternal Products. By the way, the name of the salon was Suzan’s Unisex Salon, which is where I got my middle name.

When my parents decided to stay in the US, they did not have in mind that they were going to open a salon in Ohio. When I was a senior in high school, I told them I want to go to cosmetology school. My dad said, “I guess we’re starting a salon because you are not going to work for anyone else.”

My dad always instilled in us an entrepreneurial spirit. He wanted us to get the most benefit out of everything that we did. I graduated high school in 2009, and we started leasing space in a strip mall. I worked as a receptionist in the salon while I was finishing hair school, and I got my license in October of 2010.

There are a lot of titles in the beauty industry–cosmetologist, esthetician, beautician, hair stylist, barber and so on. What do these different terms signify?

Cosmetologists are licensed in the general field of beauty. That includes hair, skin, and nails. Cosmetologists can do facials, waxing, manicures, pedicures; they can legally cut men and women’s hair and apply hair chemicals. Estheticians specialize in waxing and skin care. They can go into more depth than a general cosmetologist. Estheticians can apply chemical to the face, do extractions, and other more invasive therapies, but they don’t do hair or nails. Beautician is an older term for a hair stylist. If you want to be a hair stylist, you have to get a cosmetology license. There are also what we call nail technicians—people who do nails only but cannot do hair or skin. Barber is only cutting, and primarily for male clients.

What was it like to work for the family business for as long as you did, both as a cosmetologist and business manager?

I am first and foremost very grateful for the opportunity that my parents gave me, to be able to run a business successfully at a young age, and to fulfill my dreams that I’ve always wanted as a young child. However, it was very, very, very difficult and stressful. I was 17, 18, 19, when I was doing a lot of the managerial stuff that I didn’t necessarily go to school for. I learned from experience and asking questions, but getting thrown into it at a young age was very stressful and time-consuming.

I lived with my parents, as well. The business wasn’t like a switch that you could turn on and off. I worked long hours, and I would come home, and we would talk about it some more. Also, seeing what my parents gave me, I felt like I had something to live up to. They didn’t literally tell me, “Hey, you have to work hard,” but there was this untold expectation of doing well and not squandering it. This is probably why I overworked myself. Subconsciously not wanting to disappoint my parents, I worked all the time.

What led you to step away from the salon?

When I first decided to become a hair stylist, I always said “I’m going to work my butt off for 10 years. I’m going to put in as much work as possible. I’m going to do the long hours. After 10 years, I’m retiring, and maybe I will help run the salon, but no more clients.”

By 2020, at age 28, I was ready to retire. I knew that October would mark my 10-year anniversary, which is when I said that I would quit. However, my clientele at the time was really large. I didn’t feel comfortable leaving them just yet, and I was trying to find a way to make a smooth transition. When the pandemic happened, I thought it was the perfect time to step away, and that clients would be more understanding. I had also been losing my hair due to stress. I had developed alopecia. This had happened one other time when I was like 18 or 19 and had a lot of managerial and hair styling responsibilities. To sum it up, I knew I needed to cut back on the stress, and my 10-years was coming up.

I still love doing hair. It is my passion. It’s what I believe I was called to do. I enjoy it thoroughly. I still do a couple clients on the side, and I also still do hair styling for special events, like weddings. I try to help a little bit with the management of the salon—the girls can text me questions for advice on clients—but I don’t physically go into the salon and deal with people face to face.

What is one thing people don’t know about you? 

I feel like I’m very much an open book, I love to talk, and there’s almost nothing that people don’t know about me. One thing–if I say hi to you and don’t say your name, it’s because I don’t remember your name. I’m not good at remembering. If I know your name I always say “Hi, the person’s name.” For example, when I see you, I say, “Hi, Benny.”

Have you ever experienced culture shock?

I was oblivious to a lot of things when I was young, but I do remember I had a very heavy accent when I first came to the US, and people were constantly correcting the way I said things and the terminology I used. 

Besides that, going to cosmetology school was the real culture shock. My background is very sheltered, conservative, and small. Everybody at my high school knew each other, and we all pretty much had the same morals and standards. So I went from being in that kind of environment to a very wide, liberal environment. There were other young girls, there were older people seeking to reinvent themselves, but nobody who shared my beliefs and background. People would tell crazy stories about parties and things that happened on the weekend.

I remember girls didn’t initially like me in hair school. I was bubbly and happy, and they thought I was fake. But then later they got to know me, and they realized Brittney is that person. Brittney is bubbly and happy.

If you had to pick one destination to live the rest of your life, where would it be?  

A hot tropical island. I don’t know which one specifically, but I would want it to be a hot tropical island. I love being warm. Sunshine makes me happy. And I would like to be close to the water, so I can go swimming on the beach anytime I want. I also feel like the people who live there have a more laid back, hakuna matata lifestyle.

What is your biggest regret?

I regret when I was working really hard in my 20s, I never made the time for vacations. I could have done vacations and still made enough money, but for some reason I didn’t realize it at the time. 

What are some things you hope to do or achieve in the next 5-10 years?

I will say this is also a thing I’ve been struggling with lately. I feel like I want to achieve something or create something, but I don’t know what it is yet. Hopefully, within the next 5-10 years, I find something that inspires me because I don’t want to be involved with anything I’m not passionate about.

I am planning on getting married to my fiancé next April, and would like to start a family. Right now, I’m thinking I want maybe two kids, but that depends on how the pregnancy and delivery go, and what means we have available.

I want to visit South Africa. I want to visit tropical islands, like Hawaii and Fiji. I want to visit India. I’ve always wanted to visit India, but not as a tourist. I want to go to volunteer in some capacity.

I tend to live life as it comes. I’m not the best at setting goals because then I feel stress to make sure I achieve them. When opportunities come for something to happen, and it’s exciting to me, then I take action to make it happen.

I’m going to ask you several questions in quick succession. You can limit your answers to no more than a few sentences.

What is the thing you are most proud of?

My car because I bought it on my own, paid in full. It’s a Nissan Rogue. This was back in 2016.

What is your favorite dish to cook?  

Right now, it’s baked sweet potatoes with ground turkey and kale. The ground turkey and kale go on the skillet, with baked potatoes on the side.

What is your favorite dish to eat?

I don’t have a favorite dish specifically, but I love Mexican food.

What is your favorite holiday?

My birthday. Does that count? A few months ago, I turned 29. Since this was my last birthday in my 20s, I wanted it to feel fun and festive. We did a party at the park. My family and friends were there, and we played kickball. I really enjoyed it because it made me feel very childlike. I love that carefree, fun feeling.

Who is your favorite celebrity?

I don’t have one. I could care less about them… I lied! I love Celine Dion. And Adrienne Bailon-Houghton from The Cheetah Girls.

If you could go back in time and have dinner with one person, who would it be? 

It would be my grandpa John, on my mother’s side. Grandpa John was the G.O.A.T. He was my first grandparent to pass away, when I was maybe 15 or 16. He was always so lively, and the way he lived life was really inspiring. He was also a great storyteller, and I think it would be cool to listen to grandpa John’s stories one more time.

The question isn’t what are you dreams, the question is what are you currently willing to give up to get something you do not already possess?

Don’t confide your dreams in people unless you have the fortitude to deal with them not responding in a resourceful manner.

Note: This post isn’t going to change your life, but it may entertain you. Baseball, “America’s favorite pastime” has fallen on hard times. While leagues like the NFL and NBA have taken measures to make the game more entertaining and appealing, especially to young people, change in baseball has evolved at a snail’s pace. Just this week, Chicago White Sox Manager Tony La Russa chided rookie slugger, Yermin Mercedes–get this–for hitting a homerun. Yes, a homerun on a 3-0 pitch while his team had a big lead in the 9th inning, but a homerun no less. Most people agree that baseball’s “unwritten rules” are just plain awful. Take a look at the fan response to this Tweet, for example.

Fans want MORE homeruns, and LESS salty pitchers plunking opposing batters for “showing them up.” Fans simply don’t care about the ego of pitchers, who make the game unwatchable with their unhittable fastballs and “sweet stuff.” The chart below tells you everything you need to know. As you can see, viewership of baseball’s flagship World Series event is on the decline, and it gets even worse the further you go back in time.

If you are waiting for the MLB to change, you will probably be waiting until the next pandemic, hence why I hereby propose an alternative XLB league designed with the fans in mind. Kind of like Vince McMahon’s XFL experiment minus the CTE. Here are the rules of the road!

XLB Rules:

• 6 inning games because 9 innings are three too many. No game should last longer than a motion picture.
• 2 strikes you’re out, and 3 balls and you walk. People will think of new idioms for life.
• A flat mound. Let’s not make it even harder to hit a 90 MPH fastball.
• Mic’ing up of players. Trash talk encouraged in-between pitches. And showboating.
• 8 players on the field, and no more than 2 outfielders. Groundballs are for T-ball.
• Corked backs not only allowed, but encouraged.
• Parks are 300 feet so you can let it fly. (See previous two rules.)
• No extra innings. A homer off instead, where 3 chosen power hitters get 3 pitches a piece from a pitcher on their team.

Note: Some of these suggestions were crowdsourced from my brothers and friends, but that’s OK, because it doesn’t take a genius to put this together.

Tag your bored billionaire friend! And let me know in the comments what XLB Rules we missed and/or got wrong.

OHH, and there’s this video for added inspiration. . . (NSFW!! Turn the volume off if foul language offends you.)

We spend a third of our life asleep (and thus dreaming): what is there that is more real than dreams?

The average person in the 21st century is bombarded with negative media on the daily. I’m talking about politics, crime, gossip, and marketing that preys on human psychology. Everybody has an agenda, but is that agenda in our best interest? What if, instead of blindly going with the flow and feeding our worst instincts, we went out of our way to circulate positive media? I bet we would all be a little less neurotic and a little more grateful for the lives that we live. That’s the gap I hope to bridge in this article.

This week I called up my good friend, Jeffrey Hawthorne, to enlighten me with the good taking place in the world. Jeffrey has spent the better part of the last 5 years in the business world. He is the Founder and President of Take Courage International (TCI), a non-profit based out of Honduras. In this article, Jeffrey elaborates on the charitable work being done by TCI, and the role that vision and faith have played in his personal evolution. For him, the motto is “one step at a time,” trusting that the right process will yield the desired outcome. I hope by the end of the page, you feel a little more compassionate and in-tune with what truly matters in life, as this is the effect our 90-minute conversation had on me.

Take Courage exists to change the future of children and leaders around the world by meeting needs and unlocking potential.

TCI Mission Statement

Tell the people a little bit about yourself.  

I live in Columbus, Ohio, with my wife Fabiola of almost two years. I studied business in college, and currently work in banking and finance as a Portfolio Manager. I have entrepreneurial ambitions that are still in development. My true passion, however, lies in the charitable work that I’m involved in. It is what gives me energy and makes my heart come alive. Due to the demands of my current job, I have to make time for it in the evenings and on the weekends.

When did the thought first occur to you, “I want to start a foundation!”

I remember one day I was sitting in a college class. It was a liberal arts theology requirement. That day, I started dreaming of founding a non-profit that did all sorts of different things. The non-profit would serve as a food bank, a homeless shelter, a boys and girls club. It would teach classes and offer skills training. It might have a church or ministry associated with it. I envisioned a large campus that would serve as a home for these activities. This is my first recollection, back in the spring of 2014.

How long did it take the vision to reach fruition?

The foundation was an outgrowth of mission trips we were taking to Honduras. I started going twice a year with a team of people from my church. These trips were evangelical in nature. A fellow team member, Avery, suggested we add a philanthropic dimension to the work being done, that could serve the population both while we were there and after we had left. The team decided to focus on one poor village we were acquainted with, Nueva Esperanza, located in Santa Barbara, Honduras. We conducted healing clinics, complete with prayer and medical supplies, and a nurse practitioner accompanied us on our trips. We also raised money from our church to sponsor needy children. Local pastors identified the children with the greatest need. The money went toward clothing, school supplies, Christmas and birthday cards, and occasional medical screens. Kids in the program would leave school and go to the church to eat lunch. Altogether, we started sponsoring around 15 kids.

While all of this was going on, I got the opportunity to meet with Nelson Castellanos, who was El Presidente de Municipalidades, a local mayor who had 16 villages under his jurisdiction. We chatted and prayed in his office. Recognizing the impact of our work, Mr. Castellanos later committed his office to providing lunches to an additional 250 children in 2017. This was confirmation of the work we were doing and motivated us to keep moving forward.

In February of 2018, I took action to formalize our work through Ohio’s Secretary of State Office. Operating under an official organization would provide structure and integrity. It would give people an accountable way to give and create mechanisms for assessing the execution of our mission. It was the logical next step.

As for the organization today, it consists of a President, Vice President, Secretary and Treasury. I occupy the first and last roles, while my friends Avery and Hannah are Vice President and Secretary, respectively. Everyone contributes on a volunteer basis, with the exception of a field program coordinator and local pastor who receives a modest stipend.

What was the hardest part getting started?

When you found a non-profit, you are required by the government to draft bylaws and articles of incorporation, addressing the who, what, where, when, and why aspects of the organization. I didn’t find this part particularly challenging. However, due to a misunderstanding of terms, I made the mistake of classifying the organization as a private entity rather than a public one when filing with the IRS to receive nonprofit status. I reached out to an accountant who agreed to help us out pro bono, and it still ended up taking several months in limbo and costing us around $500 to get the designation corrected. This sum was in addition to the original $500 we paid to get the organization incorporated and considered a 501(c)(3).

You were born and raised in the American Midwest. TCI is based out of Honduras. When did you know you had a heart for Central America?  

In the beginning, it had more to do with need and opportunity. A missionary friend from my church, who had lived in Honduras for years, opened up a door for us to start accompanying him on trips. That initial connection led to new doors being opened and new relationships being developed that outgrew the original ones. As I got more involved, my love for the people there took on a life of its own. Honduras is also where I met my wife, Fabiola, in the capital city of Tegucigalpa, through the work we were doing.

In November of 2020, Hurricane Eta (Category 4) and Hurricane Iota (Category 5) swept through large parts of Central America, including Honduras, leaving behind hundreds of deaths, widespread property destruction, and around $10 billion in overall damages. Can you talk about the role TCI played in the disaster relief effort?

Local infrastructure and buildings were highly susceptible to flooding. In a lot of Honduran homes, the floors are not sealed to the doors, and so light rain can penetrate, let alone rain of a torrential variety. You can imagine the hurricanes sweeping through towns, destroying cars, homes, and neighborhoods. The landscape didn’t stand a chance.

The relationships we had built in the country enabled us to respond in a timely fashion. It started with my in-laws’ church in Tegucigalpa. They donated clothes, beds, jackets—anything they could bring to people in need. Tegucigalpa is located in the South. Most of the damage took place in the North, in an area called La Lima, close to the airport. Businesses in the capital and places that had not been ravaged donated commercial-grade trucks for transport. As for TCI, we launched an aggressive fundraising campaign, letting people know what was going on and that we were making plans to help. Mind you, we had to think on the fly, as this this wasn’t something we had prepared to handle.

We deposited the money into the country in three waves. The first wave, accounting for the majority of donations, came within 48 hours, and the second came within a week. Both of them went toward food. We discovered that for $15, we could feed a family of 5 for 15 days. We worked with local grocers to source the food and created a care package with basic foodstuffs like pasta, rice, and beans. In this way, we were able to support local business and people that had been affected by the disaster in different ways. In the end, with additional financial support from two local churches in Honduras, we were able to raise enough money to supply 90,000 meals. We also assembled bags of baby formula and diapers for mothers and babies. We ended up doing 200 of those.

TCI donated the third wave of money, which came in throughout the month, to people whose homes were still standing but had lost everything inside. We had a connection with pastors in the city of Comayagua, who had already begun this work and were responsible for administering the aid.

It seems to me that most people are really busy with their lives, trying to keep up with their personal goals and obligations. Some have good intentions when it comes to others, but don’t make the time to reach out. Any advice for us—how do you balance the charity work you do with the responsibilities of your private life?

The first thing I will say is I’ve definitely struggled with finding the time myself. I partially fit the definition of having good intentions but letting other obligations get in the way. The last two years, I’ve moved twice, gotten married, done many things that have taken time away from the good that I could be doing, all the while dealing with my own life processes and emotions.

There are times when I may not feel like it, I may not want to, I may think up any number of excuses. In those times, I remind myself of the vision, which gives me the motivation to keep going. The vision of TCI is in line with what I believe my life purpose is, to feed the nations in spirit, in soul, and in body. In addition, I have found that moving forward with the work is always in my own best interest, even amidst personal life challenges. When I waste time pursuing fruitless endeavors, it only exacerbates whatever I may be going through, while philanthropic work tends to have the opposite effect.

That was the macro-level answer. On the micro-level, I think of the individual lives being impacted, the names and faces of children that we are sponsoring. I think of Enrique and Evelyn and Jeysi. Organization and management are important, but you never want to lose touch with the individual because that’s what it’s ultimately all about.

Where do you envision TCI 5-10 years from now? Do you have any intention of changing or growing the mission? 

First and foremost will always be feeding the children and taking care of their basic needs. Also, I want to teach children how to dream. About a better future. About who they can be and what they can accomplish in life.

One goal of mine is to develop a curriculum, entitled What I Can Be. A lot of people in underdeveloped areas, often rural, have a narrow concept of what they can go on to do, informed by the constraints of their immediate environment. They may be able to envision 4 or 5 career paths—field work, construction, ministry, medicine, education—that’s pretty much it. And some may aspire to work in the car industry. The heart behind this idea is to acquaint kids from a young age with the abundance of opportunities out there. When they’re 5, it may be as simple as instilling the idea, “Oh, cool. I can be an engineer.” As they get older, we would teach them the specifics of different occupations and connect them with the educational and financial resources to pursue them. Instead of a few possibilities, we multiply that by a factor of 10. Scientists, lawyers, engineers, politicians, accountants, and so on and so forth. This is how you impact society from the bottom up.

I also want to connect with local leaders working in their communities to bring about societal transformation. There are many such people, doing much good, who already have a vision for what transformation looks like. In developing countries, you often get these well-meaning people who come from the West with their money and dictate to the locals what they need to do. “Hey, this is what change is going to look like.” I have found, though, that partnering with local leaders, who have real influence and insight, is a preferable way of going about it. This is what I would call top-down impact. When you impact children from the bottom up and leaders from the top down, transformation in the whole of society is the natural outcome.

I should add that I want the work to grow and expand in an organic fashion. To my mind, material and relational growth should go hand in hand. Before we increase the number of kids we sponsor and expand into other domains, we want to master the processes, procedures, and relationships that are already in place. We also don’t need the added pressure of forcing anything that may not be a good fit. Having said that, more sponsorships, more medical and healing clinics, microloans for businesses, scholarships, etc. would all be amazing to see.

Eventually, I also want to expand outside of Honduras. I have no geographic region or timetable in mind, and will stick to my policy of letting things play out organically, relationally, to the best of my abilities. Ideally, we will be able to adapt some of what we’ve learned into any new mission fields. The goal is to take it one step at a time with the belief that eventually these steps will lead us around the world.

Anything else you want to say to the people reading this?

Whatever things make you heart come alive, whatever things you find purpose in–Do more of those things. You don’t need to know all of the answers before you take the first step. And you can continue taking steps without knowing all of the answers. Also, it is alright to stumble, just get back up and keep taking more steps. Visit the website if you want to get involved or discover more information about who we are and what we do.

If we assigned each month a theme, January’s would be personal growth. For many, the new year represents an opportunity to make lifestyle changes in line with their goals and aspirations. To be sure, there is nothing wrong with new year’s resolutions. People should utilize whatever edge they can gain to move forward in life. The challenge, however, is to sustain progress year-round when change is no longer fashionable and the world around us is business as usual.

This week I sat down with my good friend, Devin Brown, to get his two cents on the theme. Devin is a Realtor and Student at The Ohio State University planning to major in Real Estate and Urban Analysis. You may remember him from our prior convo on How To Connect With People: Inspiring Advice From a College Student Ambassador. Devin is an ideal candidate for this interview because he is as committed to personal growth as anyone I know, and has made massive strides in recent years, both personally and professionally. He is the one I call when I need a partner to cold train in the snow, lift weights, dry fast, or simply exchange ideas on the topic. I hope you find his answers below as practical and refreshing as I did. FYI, you can find Devin on Instagram @DevinTheReal1

What is growth mindset and why should people care?

Growth mindset to me is essentially the drive to get better in every area of life. You often hear people say, “I want to change the world. I want to make the world a better place.” These are good thoughts to be having. When you’re young, you may think the way to go about it is by becoming rich and famous or having influence. But I’ve come to realize the power to better the lives of others is a result of personal growth. The further along I am in the process, the more I can meaningfully impact their lives. Personal growth, in sum, is about achieving a better quality of life. It starts with me and ends with those around me.

I would add that growth mindset is an alternative to the way most people think. A lot of people walk around with a victim mentality—they blame others for their negative life experiences and outcomes. Growth mindset is about taking the power back. Instead of being a passive player, it enables us to find ways to get better regardless of the situation. And it has to do with focusing on the things we can control, like our attitude, effort, and responses. When you react to situations, you lose power because outside forces are controlling your behavior. When you respond to situations, after slowing down and processing them on your own terms, you gain control. And we all want more control over our lives.

Growth mindset doesn’t mean you won’t experience challenges and setbacks, but it’s about making them work for you rather than against you. And it helps you to cherish the good that is already present. To enjoy life, you have to be present in the moment, and that means accepting the good with the bad. This is a kind of emotional maturity.

I’ve known you for a long time and you didn’t always think in these terms. When did the journey of personal growth begin for you?

I had a few epiphanies in high school where I realized I was far from who and where I wanted to be. But I would say it wasn’t until the spring of 2018 that it became a daily priority and core life value. A long story short, my dream to play professional fútbol, which I had trained toward for years, was in serious doubt. I had recently suffered a serious hip injury that made it difficult to compete at a high level and prompted me to think long and hard about my future. Up until that time, I had tied a lot of my happiness and fulfillment to the game. During that season, I realized, through personal reflection and some of the conversations we were having, that I could achieve many of these same goals simply by changing the way I thought. Just like that, regardless of what happened with my career and anything else outside of me. I remember days we would sit in the basement and talk about everything going on—personal challenges, life events, political affairs—and the takeaway was that we should put our energy into things we can control. That is what I decided to do.

I also looked around me at the people I cared about, and it hurt me to see them falling into the victim trap. I remember a quote from my high school basketball program, “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” I may have been going through a hard time, but I was determined to create something positive out of it. So it was a combination of factors, both personal and philosophical, that led me down this path.

You recently made your first big sale in real estate, and listed another property for sale, all the while managing your various other obligations as a student. How has growth mindset factored into your growing success in the business world?

Real estate is a competitive industry, and the hardest part is obtaining clients. Every client wants the very best to represent them, and they often go with the established professionals who have a large number of positive reviews. This creates a situation where a small percentage of agents account for the great majority of business. Real estate requires hustle, especially starting out, if you want any chance to be successful. That’s what growth mindset is all about. You either consistently work to grow your knowledge base, brand, and network, or you don’t make it.

Today what are the biggest areas you are trying to grow in?

Because people are so important to me, I am always working on cultivating and developing meaningful connections with others. A big part of that is working on my communication skills, both written and verbal. That’s an area that can always use improvement. I’m also taking care of my mental and emotional health, staying self-aware while trying to reduce stress. Physical health is another one. Recently, I found out that my family has a history of autoimmune issues. That’s been extra motivation for me to get in the gym, eat right, stretch, sleep, and drink plenty of water.

What have you found to be some of the biggest challenges to personal growth?

Comfortability. People naturally love comfort, and we tend to get complacent when we achieve some of the goals we have set for ourselves. There are days when you don’t want to wake up early or take a cold shower or do the 50 push-ups or read the article or do the assignment or have that hard conversation. Sometimes growth is like breathing–easy, natural, effortless. Other times there is discomfort, but the choice is always ours to do what needs to be done. I have found the times I choose to make myself the most uncomfortable, when I can think of every excuse in the book not to do it, to be the most rewarding of all.

Not everyone is seeking to grow and evolve, certainly not in the same way or at the same rate. Some people are more or less content with who they are and where they are at in life. Others for whatever reason are not of the same mindset. What would you say to these people?

If you’re content and happy in life, keep doing what you’re doing. Congratulations. I have nothing to add. To the second group, I would say that life is short. One motto that I have lived by—I don’t want to spend my life wondering what if? If you want to do better and know that you are not putting your full effort in achieving it, I promise you will regret it later in life. You need to find a why, a purpose behind your life and the goals you have set for yourself. Is it financial freedom? Is it better emotional health? Is it a better life for your loved ones? Is it a legacy for future generations? If your why is strong enough, it will get you through those tough moments where you want to do better but can’t find the motivation.

Another thing is I would surround yourself with growth-minded people. They say you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with, and I think there is a lot of truth to that. Having the right people around you is crucial. The right people can motivate you, hold you accountable, and help bring you closer to where you want to be.  

Any parting thoughts or words of wisdom for the people?

Goals are important, but growth mindset is about process. It’s as much about who you are becoming as it is where you are going. Progress over perfection.

Last week, I was in Texas visiting one of my mentors and business partners. We were driving back from Houston to Austin, and on our way, the car overheated in the middle of the night, and we had to stop on the side of the road in the literal middle of nowhere. We had already driven about five hours that day, and I was exhausted and eager to get home. I was also a little nervous. There was no nearby city or moonlight and Texas has a reputation for predators–scorpions, snakes, spiders, mountain lions, you name it. Instead of focusing on that while the car was cooling down, I got out of the car and took the opportunity to gaze up. I saw the most beautiful symphony of stars I had ever witnessed. I was mesmerized by the experience and thankful for the gift of life. It felt like a big part of my journey during the last few years had come full circle.

Time Stands Still For No One

Do you value your dreams? I’m not talking about your life goals and aspirations—which are extremely important—I’m talking about the artistic production of your subconscious mind after you fall asleep. In this article, I want to push back against the notion that dreams are meaningless, forgettable phenomenon, and share some pro tips for using them to promote physical and emotional healing via dream therapy.

The view that dreams represent no more than random electrical activity could only be proposed by people who have never remembered any of their emotionally significant ones. Most normal people are generally able to see the relevance of at least some of their nocturnal dramas. As stated above, while dreaming, the limbic region will usually be highly active. If we are dreaming about something unpleasant or threatening, this can be associated with feelings of anger which go with fight, the anxiety associated with flight, or the despair associated with freezing.

James Alexander, “The Hidden Psychology of Pain”

Have you ever noticed that dreams almost always carry an emotional charge? And I’m talking about the dreams that you remember. We all dream whether or not we remember. Dreams are an attempt by the subconscious mind to process our lived experiences. This is partially why sleep is so vital. When we don’t get adequate sleep, we are deprived of the healing power of dreams.

Dreams are the royal road to the unconscious.

Austrian Neurologist Sigmund Freud

Dream therapy is a healing modality dedicated to dream exploration and analysis. The idea is that by consciously remembering, writing down, and analyzing our dreams we can gain valuable insight into the emotional and physical stressors of our lives, thereby enabling us to better address unresolved issues. It helps to keep a journal or notepad close to the bed for this purpose because many dreams are forgotten after going back to sleep or proceeding with the day. There are also dream journal smart phone apps expressly for this purpose. If you don’t currently remember your dreams, start paying attention. Many people, including myself, have found that when they start paying attention to their dreams they are able to remember them with greater frequency.

People will often report that with this additional focus on dreams, their dream life becomes more active, emotionally alive, and vivid.

James Alexander, “The Hidden Psychology of Pain.”

In “The Hidden Psychology of Pain” Australian psychologist James Alexander dedicated chapter 11 to the “Healing Power of Dreams.” In it, he talks about how we dream during the REM stage (rapid eye-movement) and how this stage is crucial for mental health and cognition. People deprived of REM sleep due to lack of sleep, drug use, etc. exhibit deterioration in cognitive and emotional faculties. Mindbody doctors, like James Alexander, routinely promote dream awareness to resolve the emotional issues that lie at the heart of physical pain and ailments.

It may be that as we become more conscious of what is going on in our dream state, the emotional pressure that can drive chronic pain is finding another outlet for expression.

James Alexander, “The Hidden Psychology of Pain”

Alexander also dedicates a section of chapter 11 to “dream seeding.” Dream seeding is when we consciously bring unresolved issues to our mind before bed that we want our subconscious mind to work on as we sleep. We don’t try to solve the issues ourselves—we simply bring them to the fore.

[Dream seeding] is not so much telling your unconscious how to end a dream (resulting in a preferred outcome, or resolution), but is more about setting up the conditions for the dream to allow your natural healing capacities to come to the fore. Our mind/brain has an incredibly creative capacity for working out answers to emotional problems without our deliberate instruction. When preparing for bed, you can start the dream-seeding process by choosing to think about the situation or person, the place or incident which you feel is still unfinished or disturbing within you. There is no need to script or dictate what will happen in the dream, but you can think about key elements which you feel are highly relevant. Get a sense of what elements are the most important—people, places, situations, the time in your life, etc.

James Alexander, “The Hidden Psychology of Pain

Another term for dream seeding is dream incubation. Dream incubation famously has been used not only for healing, but for problem-solving. Here is a fascinating excerpt on dream incubation from Wikipedia (link).

In a study at Harvard Medical School, Dr. Deirdre Barret had her students focus on a problem, such as an unsolved homework assignment or other objective problem, before going to sleep each night for a week. She found that it was certainly possible to come up with novel solutions in dreams that were both satisfactory to the dreamer and rated as objectively solving the problem by an outside observer. In her study, two-thirds of participants had dreams that addressed their chosen problem and one-third reached some form of solution within their dreams.

Chapter 11 is rather lengthy and insightful. If you want to read more about the connection between the mind, emotions, and physical health, I recommend grabbing a copy of The Hidden Psychology of Pain. It is a massive book (~500 pages) written for non-experts that I have benefited extensively from over the years. Here are a couple more memorable quotes that shed insight on dream therapy for those just getting started.

You may need to think creatively about the symbolism inherent in your dreams. Some of your dreams will be quite literal, but many will be symbolic representations of other experiences which may or may not be readily apparent. Try to look for what the dream is representing, and use the emotions which are generated in the dreams as a clue. . .

James Alexander, “The Hidden Psychology of Pain”

When embarking on this process, it may also be that your dreams become more threatening or disturbing. With the help of the questions posed in the last chapter, there is a good chance that you are becoming more aware of past hurts and repressed emotions.

James Alexander, “The Hidden Psychology of Pain”

My primary motivation for dream therapy is physical and emotional healing. If that weren’t enough, Psych Central identified 7 benefits of the discipline: 1) conscious and subconscious balancing; 2) insight into mood; 3) exploring symbolism; 4) sparks creativity; 5) addressing chronic nightmares; 6) positive self-care ritual; and 7) internal conflict awareness (link).

Take that for what it’s worth.

The city of God is an imagined place in which everybody lives the way they ought to live. Everything in the city of God is held constant—including nature, weather, geography, and technology—but one important variable changes: human behavior. I initially intended to create a visualization exercise where I would invite you to meditate on the city of God as I conceived of it. However, I quickly found myself short on ideas. I also realized that people can approach the ideal from many different angles. Instead of sharing my own fragmented view, I decided to survey 10 of my friends instead.

You can find the prompt I sent them and their recorded responses below. The diversity of responses reflects the diversity of people I surveyed: the US, Africa, Latin America, and East Asia were all represented. What struck me the most was how practical most people’s ideals are, and the real possibility of making individual progress toward them. I invite you to think about how you would answer the prompt—and to share what you come up with in the comments.

There is an ideal in literature called the city of God or the virtuous city (Plato, Al-Farabi, etc.)–a place where everyone lives the way they should. How does the city of God as you define it differ from the world as we know it?

Respondent #1: Everyone would be happy. Employers would take care of their employees. Employees would treat each other better.
Respondent #2: The world would be a place full of justice, equality, and health. And no more animal instincts.
Respondent #3: People would treat each other better and wouldn’t be so focused on money.
Respondent #4: Each part would be conscious of it’s relation to the whole, but we live in a world of fragments.
Respondent #5: Love would be the norm. Love changes everything.
Respondent #6: Everyone would have a lot of empathy, and development would be defined by cooperation, not competition. And there wouldn’t be violence. As a result, everyone would have access to technology and its benefits (health, culture, traveling, etc.)
Respondent #7: I guess for me it’s the Taoist way—no strong government control, not many people, natural, moral-oriented. . .
Respondent #8: God’s kingdom would be manifest, There would be righteousness, justice, and peace. God would be king of that city.
Respondent #9: Tolerance and acceptance for others. There simply isn’t enough of it in our world.
Respondent #10: I think it would be a stress-free world. I think the majority would be happy. No killings. The world we live in is filled with greed and selfishness. The rich get richer and the poor stay poor.