Eckhart Tolle famously quipped, “It is impossible for anyone to act beyond their current level of consciousness.” Like a clock wound to move in a certain direction, people tend to continue down the same path indefinitely, due to their upbringing, personality, and experiences. When that path is wise and wholesome, the process is known as a “virtuous cycle.” On the other hand, when that path is ill-advised or misguided, the process is known as a “vicious cycle.” People entrapped in vicious cycles exhibit no inkling or ability to change, barring some transformative life experience. Like Saul on the road to Damascus, they may reach a point where a compelling, grace-filled experience is the only thing that can alter their life for the better.

This week, I reached out to my friend and Campus Pastor at Garden City Church, Gabriel Rodriguez. Gabriel was born in Caracas, Venezuela, and moved to New Jersey at 9 years old, overstaying a tourist visa on a trip to visit his father. Gabriel’s childhood, ridden with trauma, fear, and bad influences, led him down a delinquent path of drugs, crime, and violence. However, one day, while in a Central Ohio jail, just moments away from being deported and separated from his son, Gabriel said a prayer that would change the course of his life.

The following is the account of a live 3-hour interview conducted in person. I hope you find Gabriel’s story as raw, fascinating, and inspirational as I did. You can find him on Instagram @GabrielN_Rodriguez

[For more, see the complete archive of interviews.]

Tell the people about yourself.

My name is Gabriel Rodriguez. I’m 32 years old. I’m originally from Caracas, Venezuela. Both of my parents are Venezuelan. I came to the US in December of 1999. I have three kids. My oldest, Gabriel Romeo, is 15 years old. My second oldest, David Miguel, is 13 years old. And my youngest, Grace Valerie Joy, is 8 months.

I currently work for CoverMyMeds as an Account Coordinator. There is a process called prior authorization for people trying to get their medication covered by insurance. We are basically the middlemen who make sure the pharmacy, the doctor, and the insurance company are handling their side of the paperwork. I volunteer as the Campus Pastor for my church, Garden City Church. One of my main roles it to offer pastoral support to the youth, young adults, family ministry, and Sunday volunteers.

What was Venezuela like growing up?

The first thing that comes to mind is the weather. We didn’t get snow in Venezuela where I lived. You would never really see people wearing jackets. I remember my mom and dad had a good-sized apartment with four bedrooms, a kitchen, and two restrooms. I believe we lived on the 19^th floor. I remember there was a lot of traffic. I remember traveling in the city to my grandparents’ house, mostly by train. We would also sometimes take the bus.

There was this big plaza in the city. People would just go and sit and there were stores around—people selling churros and ice cream cones. It was a pretty city. Just thinking about the people and the community brings me joy.

How was your family dynamic?

I have very few memories of us all—me, my two brothers, mom, and dad—in the same house or in the same room doing the same activity. During those years, it was normal for my dad to be gone on business trips to the US, Brazil, or other parts of Venezuela. My parents’ relationship was shaky at times. I remember times where they would argue. I think the main reason was money-related. I remember my mom would go out partying or hanging out with friends, and she would leave me at the house by myself and leave my brother at my grandparents’. Eventually, my mom started dating somebody else, and my dad got word of it in the US. At that point, the separation happened, and I believe that’s when my dad decided to stay in New Jersey.

I dealt with a lot of fear when I was little—fear of the dark, fear of being alone, fear of ghosts. My house would get pretty dark and I would not leave my room because I was afraid. I remember being home for hours and hours by myself. We had a chair in the apartment right next to the door. When you got out of the apartment, there was a big hallway with doors to other apartments on the same floor. And I would just in that chair with the door open, crying and looking at the elevator, hoping that my mom would come home. I don’t know if I thought that crying would make her come back sooner, but I just remember this fear of being by myself. 

There were times my mom would drop me off at my grandma’s house, which was her mom’s house. We had like five aunts that lived there—all my mom’s sisters—along with their kids. My brother Israel, who was a year and a half older than me, lived there for a large part of his childhood and basically grew up there. In fact, all of my three brothers grew up at different grandparents’ houses. I was the only one who grew up with my parents. And so I always felt like the outsider when I went to visit my grandma’s house.

I don’t know if they were necessarily treating me like an outsider. Maybe it had to do with how I was acting. I would cry for my mom. I used to pee the bed. So I don’t know if it was what I did that upset them and made me feel like I was rejected. Or if I was rejected from the outset and that made me act the way I did. One good thing I can say about being at my grandma’s house is that I wasn’t alone.

It sounds like you had a really tough childhood.

When you say that, I think of people who had a really tough childhood and mine doesn’t sound so bad. But then I can compare myself to other people who had very good ones, and I think mine wasn’t so great. So I think I’m somewhere in the middle in the sense that it wasn’t a normal childhood, but it also wasn’t the worst childhood either.

Your dad settled in New Jersey, and you eventually went to live with him. How did that happen?

When me and my brother came to the US, it was for vacation. It was like a Christmas gift. We came on December 25, 1999. The plan was to only be here for a month. We were going to spend a week or two in New Jersey, four days in San Francisco, then spend the rest of the time in New Jersey. It was an exciting time. Before the trip, I remember me and Israel sitting on the balcony where my grandma used to live watching airplanes and dreaming about what it would be like in the US. We didn’t have a picture of America like I feel other nationalities have. I think we just thought about snow. As kids, we were excited to travel in an airplane and see the snow.

Nobody knew this, but in the back of my mind, I was excited to go to the US because I knew I wasn’t going to be alone the whole time. I knew I wouldn’t be left at my house by myself. I knew I wouldn’t be crying for my mom or dad to come. I knew my brother was always going to be there with me. My brother was the guy, if I ever needed anything. There was a release of peace and joy that I didn’t have to be afraid anymore.

We flew by ourselves. I think I was nine and my brother was ten. During the flight, the flight attendants came to us and asked us if we wanted to fly the plane. They brought us into the cabin where the pilots were and they let us sit on the seats next to the pilot. They basically just said, “Don’t touch anything.” It was a really cool experience. The airplane landed in New York but we were staying in New Jersey.

What was it like when you got there? 

My dad was renting a room in a house. The houses in New Jersey were like three floors, and each floor was like a whole ‘nother apartment. There was one queen bed and two twin mattresses on the floor. Sometimes we would hang out in the room or go to the backyard. But usually we went with my dad to the office where he was working. We did touristy stuff. We visited Manhattan. We got on ferries. We made friends. It was a good time. In San Francisco, the streets were like mountains — high and deep and all of that. I remember seeing transgender people for the first time. And then there’s this soup in San Francisco where the bowl is made of bread.

It was time to go back, and in that whole month we never saw snow. Literally, tomorrow we’re going back. And on the forecast, it said it was going to snow on the day that we’re leaving. We came to America to see snow. We’re like “We’re so close. We have to stay tomorrow to see the snow.” So basically we just begged my dad to stay so we can see the snow. The idea was “Okay, you guys can stay. I’ll pay for the fee for missing the flight. And then you guys can go back.”

We saw snow. We liked it. We played with it. I think we went sledding. And we just decided that we liked it in the US and wanted to stay. At this time, my parents were going through a divorce. In the back of my mind—and I didn’t tell my brother this—but the thought in the back of my mind was, “I don’t want to go back to Venezuela and be alone.” So my dad said, “Call your mom. And if she’s okay with it, you can stay.” We called our mom and told her “We want to stay here.” My mom was a teacher. She appreciated education. One of the things we told my mom was that the schools were great. I remember telling her that the books and education were free. And my mom was okay with it.

So you guys overstayed your visa.

Yes—we were only supposed to be here for thirty days. But it was probably God’s grace, to be honest. Eventually, my mom came back to the Lord and got serious with God. I didn’t tell you this, but my dad was a pastor in Venezuela before moving to the US. I grew up as a Christian. My mom and dad were Christian. Who knows if us being there would have made it harder for her to come back to the Lord. The pressure of having two kids. The shame, the disappointment, having to hide, having to deal with an emotional child who is now seeing his mom in a new relationship.

Looking back, everything that happened was very unreasonable. For my brother to want to stay in the US to live in one small room when he had a good life back in Venezuela. He loved his family back home. That wasn’t my case. I didn’t have a family back home that I loved. All I had were my brothers and parents, who I never saw. And for my mom to have been able to say, “Yes.” The reason I think it had to be God is because her ending was better. If her ending was worse, then I couldn’t go back and look at all these little things that happened and say, “That was God,” because her ending was worse. But the fact that her ending was better has to make me think that there was a purpose for all these areas that had a question mark, with the question, “Why did this unreasonable thing happen?”

What was your experience like in school?

In New Jerseys the schools are by numbers. They have names, but they also have numbers. So school number three, school number six, etc. I think we went to school three or four our first year. The cool part about New Jersey is that there are so many Spanish people that every single grade is divided into “bilinguals” and “regulars.” The bilingual class is the class they would speak both English and Spanish, but mostly Spanish. So it was mostly for kids who didn’t know English and needed help with that transition. Many of our books were in Spanish, and some were in English. In the regular class, they just spoke English.

There was always bullying from the regular students to the bilingual students. They always felt better than us. So I experienced a good amount of bullying. They got it back from me eventually, but it affected me for sure. You feel the rejection. You feel less than. You feel like you didn’t receive the same treatment as everybody else. And you eventually start looking down on yourself.

I moved to Ohio when I was 15. During my 6 years in New Jersey, I didn’t learn any English. None. Zero. I don’t know how I ever passed the part in English—they probably just didn’t want to fail me, but there was enough in Spanish that I could get by. I had no structure of studying or doing homework. I think I remember studying one time my entire childhood. I remember failing spelling test after spelling test after spelling test, but they still passed me. And then I failed 6^th grade. After I failed 6^th grade, I was hurt that my friends moved on and I got left behind, but I had no distractions. I was so motivated I made the honor roll. It was never that I wasn’t smart, but I didn’t have any focus or structure.  

What prompted you to learn English in Ohio?

No one spoke Spanish in Ohio. In New Jersey, everyone spoke Spanish. The stores, the buses, the teachers, the police, the firefighters, little league baseball, soccer— all the kids and all the parents in my world spoke Spanish. So I had to learn English to survive. I would be in the classroom lost, not knowing what they were saying. During the first year, I started dating a girl, and I think it really helped me get more comfortable speaking the language. By my second year in Ohio, people were telling me my English was getting better and I was losing my accent.

Back to New Jersey. I know you started getting into trouble from a young age.

I was probably 12 or 13 in New Jersey. Like I said, between bilingual and regulars, there was always that bullying, that tension. Here and there, there would be fights between these two groups. Even if they weren’t part of an organized group, you would know it was a bilingual fighting somebody from a regular class.

Eventually, we got this guy who was new at the school. His name was Frank. He was short and stocky. On the first day of school, he came wearing a yellow shit, and on top of it was a green shirt, with a bandana. He was a bilingual, so he was a part of our group. He heard that someone from the regular class was making fun of his clothing. Frank said, “Okay, we’re going to fight after school.” We had never seen this. It was just so unusual for us. We were like, “This dude is crazy.”

And so we all meet up after school, and they got into a fight and Frank beat him up. That was cool, because it was like a good record for the bilingual class. And Frank was loyal. Frank was going to stick with his people that he started with. So after a while, he started becoming very popular because he would fight anybody, and he was a good fighter. So he started gaining respect, and people wanted to be a part of his group. So basically from the first day of Frank’s class, he taught us that you need to gain people’s respect by fighting.

And from that day on, that was everybody’s response to everything. Our group response was, “You look at me the wrong way, you say the wrong thing, and we’re just going to fight.” And so I learned that respect was based on fear. And so it wasn’t too long after that, we had a small group of people, just a handful of us—my brother, a guy that we call our cousin, Frank, and Frank’s older brother. We would just sit outside my friend’s house by the stairs and hang out every day. And one day, we just decided we should make a gang. We were going to put a name on it and be an organized gang. Everybody else was going to know that this was our gang.

Were there specific gang activities you participated in? 

We didn’t do a whole lot, but we went to parties together. We all wore black at times and took pictures. At one point, we started doing graffiti. There was a big gang in West New York. And that big gang was on Street 60. And so the name of the gang was 60^th. Probably everybody in that gang was a regular. But one day we thought, “We’re in a gang. We need to make ourselves noticeable to people.” So me and another friend rode our bikes to the high school. There was like a bridge in the high school from one building to another, and under the bridge everybody hanged out there for lunch. And so me and my boy drove our bicycles over to that bridge, and on that wall where everybody hanged out we wrote Eff 60^th, but like the full word F. And we put the name of our gang on the bottom of that.

By the next day everybody knew there was another gang out there that is dissing this big gang. And that just started fights. Eventually, stuff got crazy, but at the beginning—we were young—it was just fistfights. This was all in New Jersey. And we were anywhere from 13 to 15. Right after we moved to Ohio, literally a couple months later, we started hearing stories about people getting stabbed. Big fights with baseball bats. Guns. Machetes. Crazy stuff started to happen. Drug dealing. 

It sounds like you got out just in the nick of time. What informed the decision to move?

My dad moved us to Ohio because he knew me and my brother were getting into a lot of trouble. Eventually, we started drinking, getting into more fights, etc. The Ohio option came because my brother used to go visit there. He fell in love with some girl, and he told my dad that Ohio was great. Based on all the trouble we were getting into in New Jersey, my dad said, “We should probably move to Ohio, and take these kids out of this crazy place, because they’re either going to go to jail or end up dead.”

He was right. We probably would have been dead or in jail. I think I eventually would have killed someone or they would have killed me. Not because I was a big dawg, but just because of that environment and the pressure of just being there.

Did things get better in Ohio?

No, they didn’t. A lot of my main crew, like Frank, came to move with me. Frank’s dad lived in Ohio. When my people found out we were moving, they decided to move, too. And other friends from New Jersey would visit. In New Jersey, I would walk six blocks down to my friend’s house and party every weekend. When we moved to Ohio and Ohio doesn’t have freaking sidewalks, it was like, “Man, this place is crazy!” I automatically thought, “If I’m going to have any fun in Ohio, I need to have a fake ID.” Because, to my understanding, the only fun thing to do was go to clubs. I didn’t know enough people to go to parties or anything like that. So I got a fake ID, and I started hanging out with an older crew.

Car racing was our big thing. And eventually we got into car theft, like taking the whole vehicle. We all owned Hondas or Acuras. I got my first car at 16. We would go steal other Hondas or Acuras to take the parts of the car—rims, seats, engines, transmissions, bumpers. Anything we felt like we wanted to take for our cars. One time I stole an Acura that had leather seats, and I took the leathers seats and put them on my Honda. Another time, I saw a Honda with rims that I liked, so I stole the car and took the rims. We would drive the stolen car to an apartment complex, find an empty garage space, take the rims off, and leave the car. Eventually, they would find the car without the rims.

I would break into cars every week. Steal the radios. Steal the speakers. I was still 16 at the time. I would have a new radio for my car weekly or biweekly. I would change it because I got bored of it or I found a cooler one. I would have 5, 10, 15 radios in my trunk at a time. Everything I didn’t use I would sell—speakers, radios, rims, etc.

What about school? It doesn’t sound like you were an A student.

In high school, I would skip school all the time. Since my dad didn’t know English, I would be the one that had to fill out all the paperwork for the school, and I would put my email and phone number. And so any time the school wanted to contact my dad, they would actually be contacting me. I remember there was a month I literally went to school for two days. So what I did not to fail was fake doctor notes. And I would just make up all the work on my own time.

Somehow, I found a way to pass, but I eventually dropped out. I was 17 or 18. And I continued to live that lifestyle. Partying, drinking, drugs—mostly just weed. I eventually came to realize that the group we were hanging out with in Ohio was big into drugs. By the grace of God, I never got too fully into it even though we had the resources. But my brother did. I’m talking about blocks of cocaine. I remember seeing big blocks of cocaine.

I remember one time we opened a block of cocaine that was branded by the cartel. And the brand that this block of cocaine had was the sign of a lady’s restroom. I remember looking at it and thinking, “Man, I didn’t know that the cartels brand their blocks of cocaine.” I remember looking at big bags of Crystal Meth and me not knowing what they were. They said, “Don’t touch it with your bare hands because it can get you so high it’ll kill you.” And there were these big black bags with pounds and pounds of weed.

Where was your dad during all of this?

I was living with my dad, so I didn’t have to pay rent. My dad was a cool dad, but there was no life structure. There was nobody sitting down with me giving me any life advice about careers, the future, wise decisions. My dad was busy with his own life. He was a salesman. That’s not an easy job. He had his own struggles trying to provide for us. I think he felt bad that we didn’t have a mother who was there to raise us because he mentioned it a few times. 

I met you 13 years ago at a church. You were 18 or 19 at the time. How did you end up at a church of all places?

I hit bottom when my dad had a stroke in 2008. For me, my dad was basically my world. I loved my dad. That’s basically when I became homeless. That’s when I got hooked on weed. Not like an addiction, but just an escape. I started smoking weed every day, literally all day long. We would go to bed high and my friend would literally wake me up with a blunt in his hand. I’m not going to lie, it was amazing. I remember thinking back on that time, “Wow, that was amazing.” He would already smoke half of it and was like, “Here’s your half.”

My dad had to spend many weeks in the hospital and learn how to walk again, talk again, and just do life. I don’t remember if we got kicked out of my dad’s apartment or I thought, “I can’t stay there by myself.” I was still afraid of darkness, afraid of being alone, from my childhood. So I would just crash at people’s houses. At one point, I was living in an attic on Sullivant on the West Side. One weekend, I threw a party at that house, and some money got stolen from the owner of the house, and then I got kicked out. I slept in my car a few times and just crashed at friends’ houses. And then I lost the car, too, because I wasted the money my dad and I had saved up and couldn’t make the payments.

For a time, the mother of my boys let me stay at their place. I don’t remember how long I lived there. I walked everywhere. I didn’t really have a consistent base of food. I was still getting high. I actually got enrolled back in high school. And I started going back to school, but it just wasn’t the same—who I used to be in high school before and who I was now. And so I dropped out again. I dropped out of high school two times. But the second time, I think not having a car was also a factor. I had to walk two miles there and two miles back. And being an illegal immigrant, I realized that it didn’t matter if I finished high school.

You felt that there would be no opportunity, and it didn’t matter whether you made wise decisions or not.

That’s why I was so happy when President Obama came out with the DREAM Act, because I remember I couldn’t even dream. I remember writing a letter to immigration that my lawyer asked me to write when I was applying. I remember telling them that most people dream about taking a vacation once a year. And they will plan it and think about what they want to do. And I was thinking, “I can never dream of taking a vacation, because I can’t even pick the job I want.” As an illegal immigrant, you don’t plan your life. You take what is given to you. So if $15 an hour is all that is given to you, then that’s all you have.

Being undocumented for so long and with the crimes you were involved in, did you ever get in trouble with the law?

With my dad having a stroke, me being homeless and being on drugs every day, I eventually got caught by the police with three warrants. I was in a stolen vehicle with a minor. We were both drunk and high at the time. I was already 18. I think I had weed on us. And I gave the cop a fake name, because I knew I had three warrants. But they found out that I had given them a fake name, which was a whole ‘nother charge.

And so now I’m on my way to jail as an adult. And the first thing I do when I get there is pray. Like I said, my dad was a pastor and I grew up as a Christian. I didn’t have the connection that God and Jesus were the same. Or that Jesus was the Son of God, or anything like that. But I had some understanding that there was a God. One thing about jail is you automatically go into this stage of hopelessness. You’re in the cop car looking out the window, thinking, “Man, I just messed up. I don’t know when I’m going to see the outside world again.” You’re basically at the mercy of the law. You don’t know if your family knows that you’re there and if you’re ever going to be able to contact them. And time goes by very slow in jail.

So I’m in jail and I didn’t know when I was going to get out. On day four, I’m just sitting there and they call my name. Totally unexpected. I don’t know what’s happening with my case. I don’t know when I’m going to court. They call my name and hand me the clothes I had on the day I got arrested. They put me in this other room where people started getting released, and started getting back the possessions they had on them on the day they got arrested.

In the other room, everybody who was American was let out of the room. And they left all the Spanish people in the room. And so we immediately knew. They left all the Spanish people in the room because they were about to deport us. I remember everybody was just laughing, “They’re going to deport us. No big deal. I’ll jump the border as soon as they drop me off.” This whole time I’m thinking, “I came in an airplane. I did not jump a fence. I did not cross the desert. I’m from Venezuela. Mexico is far from Venezuela. And I’m too much of a coward to go through a desert. I’m never going to come back. If I get deported, I’m never going to come back.”

You hadn’t been to Venezuela in ten years, and here you are thinking you’re about to get deported.

I had one son. He was a year old. And I thought to myself, “I’m never going to see my son again.” And in that moment, I decided to pray. And with the weight of repentance, I did this next action. I had a hoodie with a big skeleton and a hat that I had stolen from a car. As a way of me saying, “I’m done with this lifestyle,” I took the hat off and I took the hoodie off, and I threw them on the floor. And I did all of this before praying. I didn’t know the Bible said anything about repenting. This was just an action that came naturally, “I’m done with this lifestyle.”

And I closed my eyes and I prayed. And my prayer was, “God, if you take me out of this place, I will stop trying to sell drugs. And I will be the father you want me to be.” As I was praying, as soon as I opened my eyes, I realized I spoke with someone. This never happened to me in my life. I told you I prayed immediately when I got to jail, but that was the first time that I prayed and I knew that I was talking to God. Like he heard me. Like me talking to you right now—I know you’re hearing me. It was even more real than talking to you. It couldn’t have been more than three minutes, bro. After that prayer, they opened the door, and they called my name: Gabriel Rodriguez!

What was going through your mind in that moment?

Based on the situation, based on the setting, my response should have been fear. I’m the first one to go out with immigration. But instead I just had peace. The officer took me out of the room. And as they’re handing me the belongings and the things I had in my pocket that day, the Sheriff says, “You’re a lucky guy.” I said, “Thank you, sir.” He said, “There’s a Hilliard police officer here to pick you up because you have court.” And so I realized there was a police officer right behind me who was from Hilliard. He wasn’t a Sheriff—he had a blue uniform on.

And the Sheriff asked the Hilliard cop, “Can you wait five more minutes? Immigration is running late.” The Hilliard cop tells the Sheriff, “No, the judge is waiting for him, and I need to take him.” So the cop takes me to Hilliard. I get to Hilliard. My brother and my dad are there. I call my attorney. I’m like, “I got court in Hilliard.” He said, “Tell the judge that you want your case transferred to Columbus. Once your case gets to Columbus, I’ll make sure it gets to a judge-friend of mine, and we’ll take care of it.”

I remember being scared because this dude doesn’t know that I almost got deported. I didn’t know what the judge was going to say. I let the court know I want my case transferred to Columbus, but I still had to appear. The judge asked me two questions: Do you go to school? And Do you work? I said “Yes” to both of them, and they were both a lie. I just dropped out of school a couple months before that and I just lost my job at Donatos because I was in jail for four days. So the judge looks at me after those answers, “What are you doing in my court? Get out of here.”

So hitting rock bottom and having that divine encounter in jail motivated you to make the change. Did your transformation take place instantly or was it a process?

As soon as I got out, I was still homeless. I lost my job. I had no money. I was the only one paying for the apartment where me and my dad were staying. I ended up moving in with my friend, who was a big drug dealer. That’s when I realized just how much drugs we had. Many times I was in rooms where we were counting thousands of dollars. The most I saw at once was $150,000. I was still using drugs, smoking weed, and drinking.

One night I used acid for the first time. During my trip, I found myself in a closet with all the lights off crying. I remember calling my brother telling him how I was feeling. After that trip and all of that, I’m like, “Okay, I need to get back to God.” I started becoming a better dad. My deal with God was “If you take me out of this place, I’ll become a better dad.”

So now I’m praying and asking for help, trying to figure out how to get my life together. I need a job. I need a car. I need to get out of this house because it’s full of drugs. Eventually, God provides a car. There was this guy who owed my dad like $300. He didn’t have the money to pay my dad, but he had a ’92 Ford. My dad was like, “Hey. I got a car. Do you want it?” I’m like “Absolutely! That’s an answered prayer.”

I had a friend who worked at CiCi’s pizza. I called her and she gave me a job. For the house, there was this apartment complex that was getting renewed because it was in a bad area. It had a bad rep to it. And it was giving this special where you get three months of rent for free with $100 deposit. That’s a deal. So we’re like “Okay.” So we thought, “By the fourth month by the time I have to pay rent, I’ll have enough money saved up to pay rent.” But I was working part-time at CiCi’s making $250 a week. It wasn’t enough for rent, just to keep the bills paid.

What happened after the 3-month promotion elapsed?

Things were tight, and so I still tried to hustle some illegal stuff. Illegal stuff never worked for me. One day, I come home from work, and my dad tells me, “Hey, the people from the apartment complex came and said that we owe $1500 worth of rent. They say if we don’t have it by tomorrow, we have three days to move out.”

As I’m getting ready to shower, I prayed, “God, if you take me out of this one, I will…” And I stop. I thought to myself, “God ain’t stupid. That’s the thing you said in jail. God did his part to get you out of jail, but you didn’t do your part. You tried to go back and hustle.”

I showered normally. There wasn’t anything magical about the moment. It wasn’t like jail where I felt like someone heard me. This time, I thought “Whether you take me out of this one or not, I’m going to try you fully.” In my mind, I had tried everything and nothing worked. And if God was not real and this didn’t work, then I’m still going to deal with the consequences of being kicked out. But if God is real and he answers my prayer, then he’s going to take me out of this one.

And so the next day came, and the guy from the apartment complex didn’t come to pick up the money. Three days later, and the guy hasn’t come to pick up the money. A week later, still no guy. A month passed, three months, six months, 12 months—we stayed in that apartment complex for 19 months for free! There weren’t people to do maintenance in the apartment — check the basement, check the air conditioning, stuff like that. But they never sent anyone to pick up the money. By week one after that prayer, I was like, “Okay God, I know you’re real, because this guy never came.”

So after the first week, I was already deciding what it was going to look like to try God fully. And that was, “Stop doing what is bad. Read your Bible. And go to church.” I remember calling my mom and saying, “Mom, I’m making this decision. I’m going to start reading the Bible, but I don’t understand it.” She said, “Don’t worry, I’m going to send you this Bible you can understand.” And then sent me a Spanish Bible with a simple translation. Kind of like the NIV. That was the beginning of me giving my life to God. I remember just praying in my room, telling him, “I’m going to stop drinking. I’m going to stop smoking. I’m going to stop partying and stealing.”

The hardest area for me was sexual. But I remember saying, “If you help me, I’ll do it.” Now I’m thinking, “I’m going to go to church. I’m going to try it fully. I’m going to stop doing all this stupid stuff.” A year or two ago, I had visited Potter’s House with the mother of my kids because my aunt went there. When I went back again, it was the first time where I’ve ever been in a church and felt, “This is home. This is where I need to be.”

How did your relationship with God grow?  

I got more involved in church and started experiencing God for myself. There was this hunger in me to show people that God was real, and it came from reading the Bible. It came from reading the Old Testament. I didn’t start in the New Testament. I started with Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Samuel, Joseph, Ruth, Samson—those stories from the Old Testament that will increase your faith. There was something in me that just believed God for supernatural stuff. And there was something in me that wanted to show people that God was real.

You are a pastor at Garden City Church on the West Side of Columbus. How did you come into that role?

One of the first things I started doing was homeless ministry. I got involved with the Young Adult Ministry at Potter’s House. Then I got involved with the Youth Ministry. Eventually, I became an elder at Potter’s House. I must have been 29 or 30 years old. Then we started a Healing and Deliverance Ministry at Potter’s House, which is insane, because that wasn’t something Potter’s House really leaned into in the past. And we would have people come every Sunday to get demons cast out and prayer for healing. So we did that for about 6-9 months before Covid hit.

By that time, I’m married to my wife Kelcie. During Covid, we felt in our hearts that our friend, Pastor Gerald, needed to start a church. And we basically just told him, “If you ever start a church, we’ll move with you. We’ll go to your church.” In the summer of 2020, Pastor Gerald started Garden City Church. And I preached every Sunday during the first three months. 

Can you talk about your experience at the Dream Center?

In 2021, I started working for the Columbus Dream Center. The mission of the Family Ministry was to provide a space for kids to have lunch, do homework, get tutoring, and have Wi-Fi connection during Covid when the schools closed down. As Assistant Director of that division, part of my role was to provide spiritual insight to the leadership. And so I worked there for a year. And then I worked for Rock City Church for about 6 months with the prison ministry.

Finally, because of working for all these ministries—Potter’s House, Dream Center, Rock City Church—I didn’t have an official position at Garden City right away, because I didn’t know if I was going to stay. I had an offer to be the Young Adult Pastor at Potter’s House. Once I decided I’m going to stay at Garden City and I’m not going to work with these other churches, that’s when we started asking, “What role can Gabriel take at the church?” And that eventually led me to my current role as Campus Pastor, where I support the youth, young adults, family ministry, and church volunteers.

You have two teenage sons. Last year, you became a girl dad. How has being a father changed you?  

I honestly think that my life calling is to be a father. I think that God called me to serve my kids. Being a father is great. If it changed me, it made me more mature. I think about my kids daily. I have a strong desire to help them in life, to succeed in life, to give them everything that wasn’t provided to me, both in knowledge, presence, and material stuff — probably in that order. And also to provide them spiritual insight that wasn’t provided to me. And so I have a strong desire for my kids to know God. I love my kids.

Do you plan to go back to Venezuela to visit?

I don’t know. My mom passed away in October of last year. And I feel like I don’t have anything to go back to Venezuela for. I do have this sense that God has some type of calling on my life to Venezuela, but I don’t know what that is yet.

This is the rapid-fire round. I’m going to ask you several questions in quick succession. You can limit your answers to no more than a few words or sentences.

Favorite hobby?

Video games.

Favorite city?

LA. Second to that, Chicago.

Favorite verse in the Bible?

Man, that changes. I’ll say the first one that my mom gave me. Joshua 1:8-9, which is “Keep this book of the law always on your lips. Meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you everywhere you go.”

Pet peeve?

Bad customer service and people with no common sense.

Hidden talent?

Sadly, I don’t know that I have one. I speak Spanish?

Ideal vacation? 

Los Angeles. Two weeks in Los Angeles or three. At a nice house in front of the beach with my wife and kids. And if I can bring Samson [his Yorkie] that would be cool.

Thing you are most proud of?

Having my kids with me now and all of my accomplishments in life. I shouldn’t be where I’m at in my life.

First word that comes to mind when you see pineapple on a pizza?

Gross.

What would you say to a younger version of yourself?

Believe in Jesus. Give your life to him.

Where do you envision yourself in 5 years?

That is hard for me to answer. It’s hard for me to answer because I’m in a place where I want to do God’s will, and I don’t know what that is right now. I don’t know if that’s with Garden City or if that’s being a pastor somewhere else. I want to do ministry. I want to be able to preach the Word.

A few days ago, I visited my brother’s condo in downtown Columbus where he had a copy of The Almanack of Naval Ravikant: A Guide to Wealth and Happiness sitting on the coffee table. When we asked him about the book, he described Naval as “one of the wisest people alive,” which is as glowing an endorsement anyone could give an author. I don’t always act on book recommendations, but this week I decided to take my brother up on one of his favorites.

The Almanack of Naval Ravikant is unique in that it addresses both wealth and happiness, two giant themes that are rarely treated concurrently. Naval’s balanced, holistic outlook on life is not what you might expect from a serial entrepreneur whose net worth exceeds $60 million. Money, for Naval, “will solve all your money problems,” but the love of money, he asserts, is an insatiable desire that leads down a path of misery.

Naval says he has a habit of mining books for knowledge and will often not read them from cover to cover. I also learned this skill in college, but I can say that I intently read every word of his almanack. In the process, I typed up a myriad of quotes/excerpts that I thought were worth stashing, which I have consolidated for this article. Below you can find 50+ hand-picked quotes/excerpts that I found inspirational, thought-provoking, or just plain insightful.

Overall, the ~six hours or so I invested in this book were well worth the investment. I recommend you grab a copy and see for yourself what made this work, collated by Eric Jorgenson, the #1 best-seller in numerous categories on Amazon.

50 Insightful Quotes From The Almanack of Naval Ravikant: A Guide to Build Wealth and Happines

Technology democratizes consumption but consolidates production. The best person at anything in the world gets to do it for everyone. 

#1

No one can compete with you on being you. Most of life is a search for who and what needs you the most.

#2

The group of scientists who made real breakthroughs and contributions probably added more to human society, I think, than any other single class of human beings. Not to take away anything from art or politics or engineering or business, but without science, we’d still be scrambling in the dirt, fighting with sticks, and trying to start fires.

#3

Specific knowledge is found much more by pursuing your innate talents, your genuine curiosity, and your passion. It’s not by going to school for whatever is the hottest job. It’s not by going into whatever field investors say is the hottest.

#4

The internet enables any niche interest, as long as you’re the best person at it, to scale out.

#5

Escape competition through authenticity. Basically, when you’re competing with people, it’s because you’re copying them. It’s because you’re trying to do the same thing. But every human is different. Don’t copy.

#6

The most important skill for getting rich is becoming a perpetual learner.

#7

Basic arithmetic and numeracy are way more important in life than doing calculus. Similarly, being able to convey yourself simply using ordinary English words is far more important than being able to write poetry, having an extensive vocabulary, or speaking 7 different languages. Knowing how to be more persuasive when speaking is far more important than being an expert digital marketer or click optimizer. Foundations are key.

#8

Intentions don’t matter, actions do. That’s why being ethical is hard. 

#9

The reason I say this is not to make some glib comment about how 99% of your life is wasted and only 1% is useful. I say this because you should be very thoughtful and realize in most things — relationships, work, even in learning — what you’re trying to do is find the thing you can go all-in on to earn compound interest. When you’re dating, the instance you know this relationship is not going to be the one that leads to marriage, you should probably move on. When you’re studying something, like a geography or history class, and you realize you’re never going to use the information, drop the class. It’s a waste of your time. It’s a waste of your brain energy. I’m not saying don’t do the 99% because it’s very hard to identify what the 1% is. What I’m saying is when you find the 1% of your discipline, which will not be wasted, which you will be able to invest in for the rest of your life and has meaning to you, go all-in, and forget about the rest.

#10

Accountability is a double-edged thing. It allows you to take credit when things go well and to bear the brunt of the failure when things go badly.

#11

We live in an age of infinite leverage, and the economic rewards for genuine intellectual curiosity have never been higher. Following your genuine intellectual curiosity is a better foundation for a career than following whatever is making money right now.

#12

If it entertains you now but will bore you some day, it’s a distraction. Keep looking. 

#13

I only really want to do things for their own sake. That is one definition of art. Whether it’s business, exercise, romance, friendship — whatever. I think the meaning of life is to do things for their own sake. Ironically, when you do things for their own sake, you create your best work. 

#14

You get rewarded by society for giving it what it wants and doesn’t know how to get it elsewhere. 

#15

There are three broad classes of leverage. One form of leverage is labor — other humans working for you. It is the oldest form of leverage and actually not a great one in the modern world. I would argue this is the worst form of leverage that you could possibly use. Managing other people is incredibly messy. It requires tremendous leadership skills. You’re one short hop from a mutiny or getting eaten or torn apart by the mob.

#16

The final form of leverage is brand new, the most democratic form. It is products with no marginal cost of replication. This includes books, media, movies, and code… Now you can multiply your efforts without involving other humans and without needing money from other humans… This newest form of leverage is where all the new fortunes are made.

#17

Humans evolved in societies where there was no leverage… If I was chopping wood or carrying water for you, you knew that 8 hours put in would equal 8 hours of output… With a leveraged worker, judgment is far more important than how much time they put in or how hard they work. 

#18

If you have specific knowledge, you have accountability, and you have leverage, they have to pay you what you’re worth. If they pay you what you’re worth, then you can get your time back. You can be hyper-efficient. You’re not doing meetings for meetings’ sake. You’re not trying to impress other people. You’re not writing things down to make it look like you did work. All you care about is the actual work itself.

#19

No one is going to value you more than you value yourself. 

#20

Wealth creation is an evolutionarily recent positive-sum game. Status is an old zero-sum game. Those attacking wealth creation are often just seeking status. . . They’re playing a different game, and it’s a worst game. It’s a zero-sum game instead of a positive-sum game. 

#21

The problem is to win at a status game, you have to put somebody else down. That’s why you should avoid status games. They make you into an angry, combative person. You’re always fighting to put other people down, to put yourself and the people you like up. 

#22

Retirement is when you stop sacrificing today for an imaginary tomorrow. When today’s complete, in and of itself, you’re retired. . . Well, one way is to have so much money saved that your passive income, without you lifting a finger, covers your burn rate. A second is you just drive your burn rate down to zero. You become a monk. A third is you’re doing something you love. You enjoy it so much, it’s not about the money.

#23

Art is creativity. Art is anything done for its own sake. What are the things that are done for their own sake and there’s nothing behind them? Loving somebody, creating something, playing. To me, creating businesses is play. I create busineses because it’s fun, because I’m into the product… It makes money almost a side-effect… My motivation has shifted from being goal-oriented to being artistic. Ironically, I think I’m much better at it now. 

#24

The punishment for the love of money is delivered at the same time as the money. As you make money, you just want even more, and you become paranoid and fearful of losing what you do have… I think the best way to stay away from this constant love of money is to not upgrade your lifestyle as you make money.

#25

To summarize the fourth type [of luck], build your character in a certain way, then your character becomes your destiny. 

#26

Trying to build business relationships (networking) well in advance of doing business businesses is a complete waste of time. 

#27

Sharks eat well, but live a life surrounded by sharks. 

#28

Your only failures are written within your psyche and they are obvious to you. If you have too many of these moral shortcomings, you will not respect yourself. The worst outcome in this world is not having self-esteem. If you don’t love yourself, who will? I think you just have to be very careful about doing things you are fundamentally not going to be proud of, because they will damage you.

#29

I have this saying inside my head: the closer you want to get to me, the better your values have to be. 

#30

The most common bad advice I hear is “You’re too young.” Most of history was built by young people, they just got credit when they were older. The only way to truly learn something is by doing it. Yes, listen to guidance, but don’t wait.

#31

Your real resume is just a catalog of all your suffering… Anything you’re given doesn’t matter. You have to do hard things to create your own meaning in life. 

#32

Most of the time, the person you have to become to make money is a high-anxiety, high-stress, hard-working, competitive person. When you have done that for 20, 30, 40, 50 years and you suddenly make money, you can’t turn it off. You’ve trained yourself to be a high-anxiety person. Then you have to learn how to be happy. 

#33

My definition of wisdom is knowing the long-term consequences of your actions. Wisdom applied to external problems is judgment. 

#34

You can only make progress when you’re starting with the truth. The hard thing is seeing the truth. To see the truth, you have to get your ego out the way because your ego doesn’t want to see the truth.

#35

What you feel tells you nothing about the facts. It merely tells you something about your estimate of the facts. 

#36

It’s only after you’re bored, you have the great ideas. 

#37

Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are. 

#38

If all your beliefs line up into neat little bundles, you should be highly suspicious. 

#39

“Praise specifically, criticize generally” [quoting Warren Buffet]. Then people’s egos and identities don’t work against you. They work for you.

#40

Charisma is the ability to project love and confidence at the same time. 

#41

“If you want it done, then go. If not, then send” [quoting Julius Caesar]. When you are the principal, you are the owner. You care and will do a great job. When you are the agent and you are doing it on somebody else’s behalf, you can do a bad job. You just don’t care. You optimize for yourself rather than the principal’s assets… The more closely you can tie someone’s compensation to the exact value they’re creating, the more you turn them into a principal, and the less you turn them into an agent. 

#42

If you can’t decide, the answer is no. 

#43

Pointing out obvious exceptions implies either the target isn’t smart or you aren’t. 

#44

It’s not about educated versus uneducated. It’s about “likes to read” and “doesn’t like to read.”

#45

[Question to Naval] “What can I do for the next 60 days to become a clearer, more independent thinker?” Read the greats in math, science, and philosophy. Ignore your contemporaries and news. Avoid tribal identification. Put truth above social approval. 

#46

The fewer desires I can have, the more I can accept the current state of things, the less my mind is moving— because the mind really exists in motion toward the future or the past — the more present I am, the happier and more content I will be.

#47

Happiness is what there is when you remove the sense that something is missing in your life. 

#48

Happiness, love, and passion aren’t things you find; they’re choices you make. 

#49

Desire is a contract that you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want. Every desire is a chosen unhappiness. 

#50

Today, the way we think you get peace is by resolving all your external problems, but there are unlimited external problems. The only way to actually get peace on the inside is giving up this idea of problems.

#51

The enemy of peace of mind is expectations drilled into you by society and other people.

#52

At the end of the day, you are a combination of your habits and the people you spend the most time with. 

#53

You don’t make any decisions if you don’t judge anything. You just accept everything. If I do that for ten or fifteen minutes while walking around, I end up in a very peaceful, grateful state. 

#54

Hiking is walking meditation. Journaling is writing meditation. Praying is gratitude meditation. Showering is accidental meditation. Sitting quietly is direct meditation. 

#55

Courage isn’t charging into a machine-gun nest. Courage is not caring what other people think. 

#56

Inspiration is perishable. Act on it immediately.

#57

Failure is built into the DNA of a great entrepreneur because they understand it and are able to manage through it.

We don’t just need people who tell the truth. We need people who instill vision. Enough work has been done to diagnose problems and not enough to create solutions.

To billions of fans around the world, soccer is better known as “The Beautiful Game” (O Jogo Bonito, in Portuguese). This phrase was popularized by the legendary footballer Pelé, who won three world cups with the Brazilian national team in the late 50s and early 60s. Today, soccer universally garners respect as the world’s most popular sport. No other game inspires and captivates more youth, and no event brings people together quite like the World Cup.

This week, I had the privilege of interviewing my good friend, Alioune Tandiang, about his passion for the sport. Ali played Center Back in college and is the founder of H-Town, a semi-pro soccer team based out of Columbus, Ohio, currently in its 8th year of operation. The following is a lively account of a 90-minute conversation in which Ali details the positive effect the game has had on his life and in the community. I initially thought this was going to be a chill article on soccer, but it turned out be a lot more biographical and insightful than I envisioned. l hope you have half as much fun reading it as I had putting it together. FYI, you can catch Ali outside on Instagram @A_Tandiang.

Tell the people about yourself.

My name is Alioune Tandiang, and I go by Ali. My family is originally from Dakar, Senegal. I was born in Kuwait City and moved to the states when I was 7 years old. I am a graduate of Cincinnati Christian University with a degree in Business. I currently work at Nationwide as a Life Solutions Analyst.

I played basketball and football my whole life, and first made the transition to soccer when I was 17 years old because I thought I wasn’t good enough to play football. This was back during my junior year at Harvest Prep.

When did you know you had a passion for the game?

My senior year of high school, so I would say it took about a year. Practice was one thing, but playing in the game was the best feeling in the world. I had the desire to continue playing in college, but I didn’t think I was good enough. I figured I would be going up against kids who had played their entire life. It wasn’t going to happen until my friend Devin, who was a freshman on the team at Ohio Christian University, got in my ear and egged me on to try out. Long story short, I ended up trying out, and I made the team.

That first year was pretty rough. I didn’t play much at all outside of garbage time. What’s worse is I had to drop out of school at the end of the year due to financial hardship. After I got enough money to ­go back two years later, assuming I would be on scholarship, I was informed by the coach that they could not offer me financial aid. “Ali, it hurts me to tell you, but we don’t have a spot for you.”

I thought my college soccer career was over, but I decided I wasn’t going to give up. I looked around for schools in the area that were offering athletic scholarships when an opportunity at Cincinnati Christian University caught my eye. I reached out to the coach, who offered me a tryout, and I made the team. However, I was told, since I hadn’t been in school for two years, I would have to sit out my first year. There I was this 23-year old freshman on scholarship but unable to see the field.

In my first year of eligibility, I earned a starting spot at Center Back. I can tell you I was glad when I saw OCU on our schedule, the team that said they didn’t have a spot for me. I started against them, and we ended up winning 1-0. It was an amazing feeling. That year, we set a record for conference and regular season wins since CCU made the transition to the more competitive NAIA Division. I played soccer every year while I was there and graduated with a degree in Business Management.

A few years ago, you founded an amateur league team called H-Town. What inspired you?

I started H-Town in 2013 a year after I graduated high school and a few months before I made the team at OCU. I still wanted to play organized soccer, like I said, I just didn’t think I was good enough. I also loved playing and competing with my brothers and friends. That was the biggest thing for me, and to give others that same opportunity. There are a lot of people who can’t afford to play in college or aren’t good enough.

H-Town stuck around even after I enrolled in school. The games were every Sunday in Columbus, which is where most of my family and friends lived. College games are usually Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. When I was at CCU, I came home every single weekend just to play and compete. My coach didn’t know it, or I probably would have got in trouble.

H-Town also became a thing on social media. We made a Kik group back when the app was popular, and I and a few buddies would communicate on a daily basis. After it got bigger, we moved to Snapchat and Instagram. H-Town is like a brotherhood, and I got close to a lot of guys I knew in high school. In the beginning, we talked about soccer almost 24/7. We would debate who was better, Ronaldo or Messi, what color jerseys we would get, and what we could do better on the field. Now we talk about more grown up things, like career changes, real estate, and stocks. I think the change reflects our growth and maturity as people in different areas.

Getting people to sign up for the team and show up on game day are probably the biggest challenge for organizers of team sports. How do you make it happen year after year?

For us, the problem isn’t so much people showing up, but people showing up on time. It’s an amateur Sunday league, and people don’t have to compete for spots. They pretty much know they are going to get playing time. To me, it’s a sign of disrespect. A lot of times, I’m using my own money to fund the team, so if I’m asking you to show up 15 minutes early, it’s the least you can do. The first year, it was really bad, but the only way I could get people to show up on time was by taking playing time away. I never want to be that guy, but we want to be able to field a full team and compete every week.

The makeup of the team is different every single year. People get injured. In 2018, I had fasciotomy surgery on my left leg and had to miss some time. I would give my teammates at CCU a ride to Columbus on Saturday to compete for H-Town on Sunday, and I would chauffer them back home Sunday evening. It took some hustle, but I always made sure H-Town was in good hands.

H-Town has its core, which consists of me, my brothers, my cousin Demba, and a few other OGs, including people from Harvest Prep—Corey, Devin, Trenton. There are also guys I know from the community or met playing pick-up soccer.

A lot of people analogize sports with life. Can you identify any lessons or truths from the game that have application in real life? 

I would say success doesn’t happen overnight. That’s my biggest lesson from H-Town and just life in general. When we first started, I thought it would be a cakewalk. I played high school soccer, my brothers and I are somewhat athletic. We were playing against a lot of older guys. I thought we would dominate. What I learned fast is that it takes a while to develop the camaraderie of success. In fact, we didn’t have success initially. We had the talent, but we lacked the chemistry. I made mistakes. I recruited really good players who didn’t fit in with what we were trying to accomplish. It could be that they lacked discipline or were disrespectful. Success isn’t about having the best players, it’s about having chemistry. It’s about having people who work well as a team.

In H-Town’s first year competing in the Columbus Premier League back in 2014, we lost every game but one. Mind you, this was the B Division. Before the season started, I asked the commissioner to be placed in the A Division. I told him we dominated in the Westerville League. We’re winning by 9-10 goals. The B Division is too easy. The commissioner told me, “It’s not going to be like that. You’re going to struggle.” I literally laughed. I told my friends and they laughed with me.

Our first game in the CPL, we lost 4-0. It was a rude awakening. The rest of the season didn’t go much different. We kept losing, and we kept arguing. I even got into a few confrontations with players on our team. In hindsight, it was something that needed to happen. The next two or three years in the CPL, we were unable to advance to the A Division, but we made a lot of progress.

H-Town’s last season, before Covid hit, we were one game away from finally qualifying for the first division. If we would have won or tied that game, we would have gotten promoted. Every year, the top two teams of the B Division get promoted to the A Division, and the bottom two teams of the A Division get relegated to the B Division. And so we’ve gotten a lot better, and we’ve learned that success doesn’t happen overnight. It takes hard work and it takes time, and that’s true for both H-Town and life.

What is your dream job? 

To be a college soccer coach at a Power Five school. That’s NCAA, Division One. I want to help people with the knowledge I have, and I think the best way I can relate to others is through the game. It’s my passion. I love soccer, and I love helping people, and coaching brings all of that together.

This isn’t a goal I’m actively pursuing, as my focus right now is in the business world. I’m trying to obtain my Series 6 license, which will enable me to give professional financial advice. Things like what kind of life insurance policy to enroll in. I also have financial goals I want to meet—get an apartment, pay off student loans, things of that nature. But my dream job is to coach college soccer, and I hope one day to achieve it.

You have a pretty famous habit of collecting soccer cleats. How many pairs do you currently own? 

I own about 9 pairs. Some are old. Some are pairs I bought just for the hec of it. I got a pair of New Balance cleats when I was working at Dicks Sporting Goods. A New Balance rep came to me. He said, “I know you play soccer. I’ll give you a gift card. You can order any New Balance cleat you want. I want you to play in it, and give us feedback on how we can improve our product.” I pretty much became a test dummy for New Balance cleats. They gave me their most expensive pair, the New Balance Furon, that retailed for around $210. New Balance was trying to make a comeback with soccer cleats to compete with elite brands like Nike and Adidas.

I’ve collected other ones just for the memory. I got the white and pink Nike Mercurial, one of the most famous cleats ever designed. These were the Euro Cup 2012 edition, worn by Ronaldo, who was one of my favorite players at the time. The damage on those was around $220 before tax. I also bought the Cristiano Ronaldo Galaxy Edition. I own both the indoor and the outdoor version.

Each cleat I own has a story. Every time I wear a cleat, it reminds me of a time and season of life.  

Can you describe the feeling of getting a new pair of cleats for someone who may not understand the appeal? 

You’re always excited to play, but when you get a new pair of cleats, it’s a whole ‘nother level. Is it comfortable? How is the touch? It’s like getting a fresh outfit for school. You’re excited to try it on and show it off, and you know that everyone is going to comment.

I know you used to play a lot of FIFA with your friends and teammates at CCU and compete in various tournaments. Is that something you still do?  

FIFA was a phase I grew out of. I did used to compete in a lot of tournaments with H-Town and at CCU. Let me tell you a story. For CCU tournaments, you would get three random draws when selecting your team. If you went for a fourth draw, you were stuck with whatever team came up, so it was a risky choice. During one school tournament on international mode, I wasn’t happy with my first three options, and I ended up getting stuck with India, literally the worst team in FIFA. Their overall was like 69, which is trash. It doesn’t matter how good you are, you typically won’t win with India.

I knew I was good enough to beat certain people, but not my friend and teammate Jaylen. He was the best FIFA player I have ever competed against. In the tournament, I won my first two games, and the third game was the championship. It was me against Jaylen. He had Ivory Coast, which was solid. Their overall was like 82. So I was playing against a better player with literally the worst team in the game, and the odds were against me.

The tournament was golden goal, which means the first team to score wins. All of my teammates were there, and there were about 40-50 people watching in the lobby. Everyone was rooting for me because you got to root for the underdog. The game started out really competitive, until I connected on a through ball and scored and won the tournament. The lobby went crazy. We were also competing for a $25 Canes gift card, which was nice. I played the best game of my life and it couldn’t have come at a better time. Everyone called me FIFA king for the rest of the year.

I stopped playing because of work. I work like crazy, and I’m in a committed relationship, so I don’t have time to play video games.

With so many top-notch leagues around the world from La Liga to the Premier League to Serie A, and more local ones like La Liga Mx and the MLS, the menu of professional soccer can be overwhelming. Which leagues or teams do you follow the most?

The leagues I follow the most are La Liga and the English Premier League. La Liga has my favorite team, Real Madrid, and they have one of the best teams ever in Barcelona, and one of the best players ever in Messi. I also like the EPL because that’s where Sadio Mané plays, the most famous player from Senegal.

These two leagues are the best in the world, and I like to watch the highest level competition. The winner of the Champions League tournament, where all the best teams around the world compete, is almost always from La Liga or the EPL. I also watch a bit of MLS and the German Bundesliga, but that’s about it.

A lot of American fans are unhappy with the state of soccer in the US. The US men’s national team failed to qualify for the World Cup in Russia in 2018. What do you think is the biggest thing holding the US back from dominating CONCACAF, let alone competing with world powers like Argentina, Germany, Brazil?

I’ll tell you what holds the US back from competing with the rest of the world. First of all, they have a clear system in other countries. I’m talking about the Brazils and Spains and Argentinas of the world. The guys who go pro typically start playing competitively from like age 6, and work their way up the ranks. The infrastructure there is also different. There is no college soccer. And if there is, the best players don’t go there. What they do have are soccer academies. From a young age, kids will go to these academies where you take regular classes like math and science, but train soccer all the time. The expectation is that many of these kids will go on to play professionally. Look at Messi, who is from Argentina. Barcelona brough him to Spain as a kid to go through their academy, and he became the best ever.

In the states, we have soccer academies, but nobody lives there. And to attend, you have to be really rich. We have a system in the US called pay to play. If you’re parents aren’t rich, you aren’t going to academy, and if you do, it’s going to be a cheaper one. That’s the biggest problem. Not many people can afford to put down five or six grand so their kids can go to academy. If this system was in place in other countries, we would never have got Messi, Neymar, and Ronaldo because they all grew up dirt poor.

In the US, our top athletes play football or basketball or even baseball. At smaller schools and colleges, many people who play soccer aren’t athletic to begin with. Like I said earlier, I started playing because I couldn’t make it at those other sports. My friend Devin started playing to get in shape for football.

Americans also think soccer games are boring, so culture plays a role. Games sometimes only have one or two goals and can end in a tie. In high school and CCU, we always struggled to get people in the stands. Professional athletes also make way more money in these other sports, so there’s an economic dimension, but the culture comes first.

Your family is originally from Senegal, where a lot of kids grow up playing the game and idolizing the likes of Sadio Mané. Why do you think soccer has such great appeal in Senegal and around the world?

It’s the simplicity of the game. You don’t need pads. You don’t need a hoop. You just need a ball. And oftentimes, you don’t even need that. You hear stories of kids who play the game with water bottles. Soccer is really cheap and it brings people together.

Do you have a favorite footballer? What is it you like about him? 

Right now it’s Sadio Mané. Obviously, I’m biased. He’s from Senegal, and he’s one of the best players in the world. My favorite player used to be Cristiano Ronaldo, but Mané relates to me better. It’s not Mané’s talent because I’m not that good, but him being a guy who grew up in Senegal and continues to stay humble. You won’t see him flashing cars or jewelry. There are a lot of professional soccer players who are not humble, but as you get older you realize being humble is the way to go.

This interview would be incomplete if I didn’t ask you the million-dollar question. Who are you taking, Messi or Ronaldo? 

I grew up being a Ronaldo fan, and I used to argue that he is the best in the world. Now that I’m wiser and older, I realize that Messi is a better player. That said, I would prefer to have Ronaldo on my team because he is more clutch. I think he shows up in bigger games, but talent-wise, Messi is the best player I’ve ever seen. And he does it so effortlessly. Oftentimes, I’ll be watching the game and it looks like Messi is tired or doesn’t care, and he’ll come out of no where and score the best goal you’ve ever seen.

What’s next for you and H-Town? 

Our current season has been postponed due to the pandemic. It’s been a year and a half now since we took the field. The next season is set to start in April of this year. We have a championship game left from last year that we are still scheduled to play. If we win, we get promoted to Division A for the first time. I’ve started to reach out to guys that have played previously to see if they want to play again. Some people have already opted out. They are old now, have families, and don’t want to risk injury. We also have to see how the pandemic plays out, how many people get vaccinated. Things right now are very much up in the air.

I give you the last word. 

I’m not naturally outgoing. In high school and college, I had a reputation for being a quiet guy. At school and now work, people may think, “Ali is a really quiet guy,” but H-Town knows better. H-Town will tell you I’m a vocal guy who likes to yell and hype his team up. Soccer is my getaway. It’s a place for me to be me and get all of my energy out.

Soccer also kindled a lot of the relationships I now have. I probably would never have met people like you, Devin, and Jeff if it weren’t for the game. Even the job I now work. After graduating college, I could not find a job anywhere. They tell you friends and networking is important. The reason I have this job at Nationwide is a friend I met through soccer. His name is Dave Blamo. So soccer has been a real blessing to my life.

When you unite, anything is possible.

Desire makes slaves out of kings, while patience makes kings out of slaves.

When I was in grade school, my teachers had inspirational quotes and affirmations spread all over the wall. For example: Watch your thoughts, for they become your words. Watch your words, for they become your actions. Watch your actions, for they become your habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. To me they were just bland decoration that I read over and over again to pass time and because they were right there in my face. Now I’m a little older and wiser, and can appreciate the power of words. Words (and thoughts) shape beliefs, emotions, health, character, and destiny. The most important conversation is the one we have with ourselves.

Today I am intentional about the words I let into my life. I filter my music and media and don’t tolerate bad company. I am also intentional about rehearsing positive affirmations that I believe are both fact-based and life-giving. In this article, I share 15 of my all-time favorites. These are the gems I have gleaned from a lifetime replete with many challenges and setbacks. Not coincidentally, I have published several articles in the last year expanding on their importance.

Which of the following most resonate with you? Let us know your own personal favorites down below!

15 Powerful Affirmations To Live By

1. I Create as I Speak

2. Words Make Worlds

3. Forgiveness is Strength

4. Every Day is a New Life

5. The Past Is My Creation

6. My Biology is My Belief

7. Courage is the Key to Life

8. Discipline Equals Freedom

9. On the Other Side of Fear is Freedom

10. It’s Never to Late to Have a Happy Childhood

11. All I Need Is a Word to Change Everything

12. Love is the Most Powerful Force in the Universe

13. The Immaterial World is King of the Material World

14. The Mind is the Most Powerful Tool I Have to Change My Life

15. Whatever I Hold in My Mind Consistently is Exactly What I Will Experience in Life

Opinions are a dime a dozen, and they change at the drop of a hat. Some people’s opinions matter, but most do not. If you’re like most people, including myself, you meditate too much on what others think. This leads to unhappiness because we can’t control what others think, and even when we can, it takes an enormous outlay of energy. To the extent we are successful at people-pleasing, we lose touch with what intrinsically matters to us.

I recently wrote an article entitled A Simple Lifestyle Tip To Increase Self-Confidence. In it, I talked about how living true to our values–however we define them–makes us more confident people. In addressing the broader topic of how to stop caring what people think, popular vlogger Charlie Houpert from Charisma on Command makes a similar appeal. Charlie argues that the solution is to focus on our own perceptions expressed in terms of values rather than those of other people. At the end of the day, ask yourself, “Did I live up to my values?” rather than “How did my behavior today influence what other people think?”

Check out the complete video and transcript down below, as well as other content from Charisma on Command, one of YouTube’s finest. In the mean time, here is a famous excerpt from the New Testament that tells you everything you need to know about human opinions.

When Paul had gathered a bundle of sticks and put them on the fire, a viper came out because of the heat and fastened on his hand. When the native people saw the creature hanging from his hand, they said to one another, “No doubt this man is a murderer. Though he has escaped from the sea, Justice has not allowed him to live.” He, however, shook off the creature into the fire and suffered no harm. They were waiting for him to swell up or suddenly fall down dead. But when they had waited a long time and saw no misfortune come to him, they changed their minds and said that he was a god.

Acts 28:3-6 (The Fickleness of Opinion)

Transcript:

Have you ever lied about an odd hobby you have? Or maybe your job status or your height? Or even just avoided putting yourself in a situation in which you knew you were likely to fail? Why did you do that? Short answer — because you were embarrassed. Embarrassment comes from trying to control how other people perceive you. So instead of just showing the world your nerdy hobby, say, that you collect beanie babies, you go, “I don’t want people to think I’m a dweeb,”and pretend that you don’t have one.

The same process plays out with hobbies as it does with mistakes that we’ve made, areas in which we’re weak and areas in which we might get publicly rejected. We hide what we don’t want people to know about us. We conform to what other people would like us to be. But it doesn’t have to be the answer because there is another more empowering mindset. Instead of focusing on other people’s perceptions and feeling embarrassed about what they may think, focus on whether or not you live up to your own values.

For instance, if you do have a killer beanie baby collection,you obviously value something about it —maybe it’s the nostalgia or maybe it’s just a quirk that started when your grandma gave you one twenty years ago. Either way, if you value your own opinions, you won’t try to hide the collection no matter what anyone else thinks of it.

Or maybe you have a crush that you’re thinking of asking out. Focusing on other people’s perceptions of you would stop you dead in your tracks. After all, what if other people found out and laughed at you for getting turned down? But what if you instead focused on your own values like doing the courageous thing or being honest even when it’s uncomfortable? You would ask that person out. Now maybe you’d go on a date, maybe you wouldn’t but either way, you’d have lived up to your own values and no matter what anyone else said or did, you could feel proud of yourself.

The point is that when you focus on living up to your own values,you never have to feel embarrassed again. It doesn’t matter whether you trip up an escalator, get fired from a job, beat up in a fight or blown off by a girl or a boy that you like —none of that stuff is pleasant, but you don’t need the double penalty of being embarrassed by those things. Your attempts to live up to your values are all that matter, so take responsibility, try to correct course and move on. And if you have traits that embarrass you, whether it’s your looks, your height, your age —well, you can’t control those things and you can’t live up to a value that you can’t control. So even though you might not like something about yourself, own it. You will immediately feel relieved when you accept yourself the way you are.

Now this isn’t an excuse to simply give up on improving yourself in the name of self-acceptance. Some things are worth a moment of embarrassment because they remind us that were not living up to our values. So in the case of maybe having fallen out of shape, a moment of embarrassment is worth it to get you back to a healthy lifestyle or a moment of embarrassment in saying your job title can be worth it if it inspires you to hustle to land your dream job. The point is to get clear on your values then live in line with them. Let other people’s perception of you fade into the background noise.

Now this doesn’t mean you ignore other people completely to the point of becoming a self-absorbed jerk. For instance, if one of your values is to be kind and you keep getting feedback that you’re hurting people’s feelings,you probably need to make an adjustment. But just remember there are 7 billion people with 7 billion different opinions —you cannot please them all. So when you take feedback from others, focus on doing the right thing rather than the thing that pleases everyone else.

In short, stop trying to be okay by everyone. Stop trying to control the opinions of strangers. Instead, figure out your values and live by them. Be your unadulterated self all the time regardless of the audience. Make mistakes, fail publicly, get laughed at —you’ve got nothing to lose and as long as you’re trying to do the right thing,you’ve got no reason to ever feel bad about it. Own your screw-ups, your weirdness, you’re unpopular actions, and you’re free. . .

[You can follow me on Twitter @creatorvilla.] I see at least two ways of interpreting this statue: one, the sacrifice parents make to build the lives of their children; and two, the giving of parents to their children what nobody ever gave them. This is the definition of grace– when we give others what they do not deserve or what we cannot reasonable be expected to give. FYI, I couldn’t find any info on the artist. If you know it, drop a comment down below and I will make the proper attribution.

EDIT: The artist’s name is Chad Knight.