The world is currently transitioning out of the largest travel drought in a generation. The threat of contagion kept borders closed, airlines operating at fractional capacity, and billions of people cooped up in tight quarters for months on end. At one low point during the pandemic, airline index $JETS had shed nearly two thirds of its value. Many people wondered whether permanent damage had been done to an industry that was forecasted to achieve an approximate $1 trillion valuation by the end of the decade. Meanwhile, supply chain issues and shocks to supply-demand economics have caused the prices of new and used cars to soar. All things considered, the global transportation industry is recovering quite nicely, but with a caveat. It is not yet clear what long-term effect the rise of communication technologies like Zoom, WhatsApp, and Square will have on business and lifestyle. Will people value physical presence enough to spend time and money when a lot of social and work-related activities can, in theory, be accomplished remotely? Will better technology and more cushy home arrangements demotivate people from traveling to attend events, visit landmarks, and see the world in person? The answer to these questions, of course, is some measure of degree, not a binary yes-or-no. What is definitive is the fact that the world is evolving at an extremely fast clip relative to the rest of human history.

This week, I interviewed someone whose life uniquely intersects with some of the themes introduced in the previous paragraph, my brother Andrew Batarseh. Andrew is a foodie, a movie buff, and a rabid sports fan. Native to Columbus, Ohio, he currently works as an itinerant leadership consultant for a college fraternity. I hope you enjoy the following account of a 60-minute interview conducted over the phone. The subject matter is as personal as it is of general interest to travel aficionados and people otherwise experiencing unusually high levels of wanderlust. You can find Andrew on Instagram @_Batarseh, where he frequently publishes pictures and videos documenting his adventures.

 Wanderlust: a strong, innate desire to rove or travel about.

Dictionary.com

Tell the people a little about yourself. 

My name is Andrew Batarseh. I am from Columbus, Ohio. I graduated from Ohio State in December of 2020 with a degree in English. I work for a Christian social fraternity called Beta Upsilon Chi, colloquially pronounced as “Bucks,” like the football team, but spelled BYX. I got involved with the fraternity in college and was offered a job as a leadership consultant after graduation. The nature of my job consists of a lot of travel, relationship building, and phone calls.

I love food, cooking, and the culture around food. One of my favorite parts about traveling is the opportunity to try different foods. I love sports, as well. I grew up around them. It’s primarily football right now at this stage in my life. I’m also a big movie buff. I have my own movie rating system. I admit that I am a bit of a movie snob.

How did you decide on English? I don’t remember you talking much about it growing up.

I changed my major four times. I went from engineering, to two majors in pre-med, and then business. A series of indecision and unfortunate events led me to decide on English, so that I could graduate in 4 and a half years, and also develop a skill that I enjoy. I like writing. I think I’m fairly good at it. Overall, I would say that my choice of major has proven to be somewhat marketable.

What is it exactly that you do?

Practically, I travel to six different universities every semester. There are 35 total represented by our organization, and I am responsible for six of them. Once every semester, I consult with their officer team in person. I also develop relationships with the members of the chapter. I do things ranging from having fun and playing football, to solving problems that the brothers are having with one another. Overall, my job description is a wide spectrum of relationship development and problem-solving.

Aside from that, I coach. There are a handful of officer positions. I coach our vice presidents. The vice presidents plan parties and manage the social engagement of each chapter. I also coach treasurers and am responsible for our budget. We have a national philanthropy called Living Water, which builds wells in Rwanda. I facilitate relationships to support that effort. We have a campaign called 10 days, where for 10 days all of our members drink only water and donate the money they would have spent on drinking other beverages.

More people today are working remotely than ever. With technologies like Zoom and Google Meet, why is it necessary for you to go to these places in person? How do you see the trade-off between efficiency, on one hand, and depth and quality, on the other?

Very simply, human connection is most robust when face to face and tangible. As much as I would like to develop deep connection via Zoom, text, and phone calls with the 230 guys that I oversee, it’s just not possible. Technology is convenient, but it isn’t as realistic or effective as spending time with people in person.

People my age or younger are trained to engage with society through instant gratification via digital media. It’s so easy to send a text message. It’s so easy to scroll for news and highlights. People are starting to lose very basic, necessary social skills. I meet a lot of young men who struggle with communication, struggle with face-to-face interaction, and have social anxiety. It’s a serious problem. While technology can be great and necessary in the world we live in, we are starting to notice many of the drawbacks.

What I’m doing is almost counter-cultural to how a lot of people I know are used to engaging with the world. I don’t know if I would use the word spiritual, but the human soul needs to be present with others. It’s healthy for us in a way that I cannot fully explain. While I’m not technically well-versed on it, I know there are experts out there who can speak about it with more detail.

What have been some of your most memorable experiences in other states? 

Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Baton Rouge is the furthest thing from Ohio in the US that I have ever experienced. It feels like every event, especially football games, is one big party. Everything revolves around food, which in some ways is similar to the Middle Eastern culture that I grew up with. It’s very flamboyant and extravagant and exciting and colorful. It’s also swampy and humid down there, weather-wise, which I don’t like.

Baton Rouge has a really interesting and unique culture that was influenced by the French. Their buildings look French. Their food is French-inspired. I think they’re the only pocket of the US where that is truly the case. In some places in Louisiana, it feels like you’re flying to a different country.

I also went to a Death Valley football game [LSU college football]. Many people say it’s the best environment in college football. I biasedly disagree being an OSU fan and having worked for the team, but it was a very cool experience. 

Have you gotten the opportunity to travel international? 

I’ve been to Israel with BYX. I’ve been to Brazil and the Dominican Republic on mission trips as an undergrad. I also went to Jordan to visit family several years ago.

What is your favorite part about traveling for work?

In reference to what I said early, getting to try new local food is one of my more enjoyable experiences. I’m a big foodie. Before starting my current job, I worked for a year at a local restaurant called Third and Hollywood. I learned about mixology, i.e., the art of making cocktails. I learned a lot about beer and wine. I also learned a lot about food from being in that environment and directing questions to the head chef.

Do you have any aspirations to get more involved in the food world?  

I have some culinary aspirations that I’m still figuring out. I’m not sure if I want to go to culinary school, work at a good restaurant, or do restaurant management. However, I’m pretty sure that is the space I want to be in in the future. I now know so much about the back-end restaurant business, with answers to questions like “How much does it cost to bring in broccoli and Brussel sprouts?” “How do you make steak here?” I still need to pinpoint what it is exactly that I love about this industry, and what route I would need to take to get me where I want to go.

What is your least favorite part about traveling for work?

I love being at home, too. I am an introvert deep down. I recover alone, and when I’m traveling, it is very difficult to get that alone time to rest up. I’m always on the go. I’m always around people. I’m always, in a way, needing to perform, by asking good questions and being very present, emotionally and mentally. It really takes a toll. I come back home and am basically incapacitated for two days until I get some rest and alone time.

Are there any special opportunities that come with a job like this? 

This one will mainly just appeal to sports fans, but I’ve been able to see a lot of college football games in person. I’ve seen a Georgia football game, an LSU football game, and an Oklahoma State football game. I would never casually fly to one of these places just to see one of these games, but being there in person with the guys from the fraternity enables me to do that. All of my college visits are planned, and football lately has been a part of that plan.

What about special challenges or temptations that accompany travel? 

It’s rare that I get a night of sleep with more than six hours in a comfortable location. Over a weeklong visit, that deficit can really add up. I don’t sleep in a hotel. I stay with the members of the organization. I’m typically sleeping on their couch or on an air mattress, or some other random location in their living room. I’m very grateful for it, but, in reality, it is a difficult place to get quality sleep. Sleep is the biggest practical/logistical challenge. Other than that, all of my expenses are covered. The only thing I need to do is make sure I am remaining within the budget for a visit. Not spending too much money on food—food is one of my biggest expenses—but I would say it’s really not that hard.

As far as temptation, the number one way it comes is when I’m really exhausted and looking for some sort of relief or distraction. The Christian guys I stay with on campus are a kind of accountability, but also the staff. There are five guys who do my role total, and we talk weekly about topics just like this one. So, on a regular basis, I’m talking with guys who understand what it’s like to visit a chapter in another state. They are the ones asking the difficult questions and making sure I keep my mental, spiritual, and emotional health a priority. There are people looking after me, and people I am looking after, as well.

You were born and raised in Central Ohio. You talked about your perception of Baton Rouge. How do some of the other places you’ve been to compare to the Buckeye State? 

People talk a little bit differently down south. The food they eat is a little bit different. I haven’t been to a city as big as Columbus yet, so size. Texas, Louisiana, Oklahoma, Georgia—they all have a little bit of a southern twist to them. Texas is very dry. Ohio is very humid. I could list more differences, but I will end with this statement: every time I go and visit a new place I tend to appreciate Columbus a little more afterwards.

In the intro, you self-identified as a movie buff with a proprietary system for rating movies. What’s that all about?  

Basically, I rate every movie that I watch. The scale is divided into several categories, including acting, dialogue, cinematography, and sound. There’s about 10 to 12 categories total. Each category is weighted differently based on how much I value that set element of the movie. For example, acting and plot are my two heaviest categories. And then sound and cinematography make up the second tier. Each category has its own point criteria, and I’ll grade the movie based on all of these different variables. The most total points you can receive is 100.

The highest movie I’ve rated so far is a movie called Sound of Metal. It’s a movie about the journey of a heavy metal drummer who loses his hearing. I won’t say anything more about the movie because I recommend everyone reading this go and watch it. But it has a 92 overall, so it’s a pretty strict scale I have going on. Goodfellows is another 90. It’s a Martin Scorsese mafia movie. And then there’s Parasite, a Korean film by Bong Joon-ho. 91. That one is about a Korean family who is struggling in the economy and decides to get a job at a wealthy family’s house. There’s a really fun twist that I won’t disclose because you should go see it. The lowest score I’ve ever given is Good Morning Vietnam. 48. That movie didn’t age well.

To my mind, movies are not a very social activity. I think it’s noteworthy that someone with your active lifestyle would take them up as a hobby. What effect do movies have on your life? Do you see movies as a kind of complement or counterbalance?

I used to play way too much video games. Now I don’t play them nearly at all. It was an unhealthy form of escapism. As I’ve matured, movies have turned into something that I can enjoy with an appropriate amount of time. They help me to get my alone time and to experience and reflect on a world outside of my own.

My closest friends are just as in to movies as I am. Counter to your anti-social point, movies can be a very social experience for my friend group. We’ll watch a two-hour movie, and then spend just as much time talking about it afterwards. The movies become a part of our lingo. They become a part of the jokes we make. We have art on the walls from the movies we like. Movies are a big part of the fabric of our culture together.

What is one place, domestic or international, that you haven’t been to but would like to visit? 

Iceland. In the summer, when you can see the northern lights. They have beautiful green landscapes and really comfortable summer weather. I bet their cuisine is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. I also haven’t been to Europe–so I would pick Iceland for those reasons. The answer changes every month, but that is my answer right now.

Any pro tips or words of wisdom for living life on-the-go? Are there any special rules you follow or rituals you practice? 

I always keep my room really clean so that when I come home from travel I have an immediately restful space. As soon as I get home from travel, I immediately unpack and do laundry. Having that out the way frees up my physical and mental space so I can rest up and get back to my normal routine faster. I have white noise downloaded for the plane so that I can easily sleep. When I’m planning my visits, I don’t schedule anything past 11 PM and nothing before 9 AM. This enables me to have some sort of a morning routine and gives me a better chance at getting decent sleep. I also don’t overschedule to reserve space for when things inevitably come up or when some of the things I’m involved in take longer than expected.

I will add that this is something I want to develop more in. I’ve been living this lifestyle for maybe a year, and I’m still figuring out what processes are most effective for me to perform well.

I’m going to ask you several questions in quick succession. You can limit your answers to no more than a few sentences.

What airline do you fly?

American Airlines, and I am a proud elite member.

Favorite city you’ve been to?
Austin, Texas.

Car you drive?

I drive a silver 2018 Mazda 3. I fly to all of the chapters, except Indiana University, which is about a 4-hour drive. 

Favorite podcast for the road?

I’ll occasionally throw on an episode of the Joe Rogan podcast.   

State with the worst drivers?

Columbus.

State with the best natural scenery?

Colorado.

Favorite quote or life motto?

Recently, it’s Proverbs 25:2, “It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out.”

Top three favorite national cuisines? 

In no particular order, Korean, Mediterranean, more specifically Middle Eastern, and probably Japanese.

What’s next on the itinerary for you, both as it relates to your work and private life?

The job I have is a two-year contract. In the meantime, I’ll continue to learn how to improve at my job and also in my personal life. There’s a strong correlation between personal growth and professional growth in the space that I’m in right now, which is pretty cool. I’m not making many plans outside of that. I’m not seeking a dating relationship or my next job right now. I’m just really focused on the present. I think next fall is when I’ll start considering more of the next steps for when I’m done with this phase of my life.

[You can follow me on Twitter @creatorvilla.] Steve Jobs and Muhammad Ali have reputations that precede them. Jobs co-founded and presided over Apple for decades before his passing, a company that is now worth $1 trillion dollars, over 5% of the GDP of the United States. Ali was a world champion heavyweight boxer when the sport was in its heydey. Nikola, for his part, pioneered breakthroughs in the production, transmission, and application of electric power. Tesla, the famous electric car brand named in his honor, is valuated at more than $100 billion dollars.

What do these titans share in common besides the extreme wealth and celebrity they acquired during their lifetime? A peculiar habit known as semen retention. For those unfamiliar with the term, retention refers to the conscious decision of a man not to climax. It is based on the belief that climax releases powerful energy that can otherwise be rechanneled in other areas of life. Steve Jobs’ ex-girlfriend Chrisann Brennan had this to say about his peculiar habit.

“Our birth control method up to that point was Steve’s coitus interruptus, also called the pull-out method, which for him was about his conserving his energy for work.” She added he didn’t want to climax to build “power and wealth by conserving [his] vital energies.”

In Muhammad Ali’s autobiography The Greatest: My Own Story, he narrates a quote from Olympic boxing coach Harry Wiley.

There’s a kid just come down here named Cassius Clay. If you bet on him every time he fights, you’ll be a rich man, ‘cause he won’t lose a single fight. I believe his thing is sexual control. And he’s got it. . . Any kid who can control [it] can with the title. I believe it.

Ali would reportedly go up to 2 months without climaxing in preparation for a fight. Retention prior to a fight, in fact, has been standard operating procedure among many boxers. David Haye, former British Heavyweight Champion, articulated the logic of the practice as follows.

I don’t [climax] for six weeks before the fight. . . It releases too much tension. It releases a lot of minerals and nutrients that your body needs, and it releases them cheaply. Releasing weakens the knees and your legs. Find a lion that hasn’t had some food for a while, and you’ve got a dangerous cat. So there won’t bet a drip from me. Even in my sleep — if there are girls all over me in my dream, I say to them, “I’ve got a fight next week, I can’t do anything. I can’t do it.” That’s control. I’ve been doing that since I was fifteen and its part and parcel of my preparation now. That’s why I am who I am today — it’s down to all those little sacrifices. Find me another boxer who makes that sacrifice, and you’ll find another champion

Nikola Tesla was an inventor and had his own reasons for practicing the habit. He had this to say in the article “Tesla Opposed to Marriage,” published in the Electrical Journal in 1896.

I do not believe that an inventor should marry, because he has so intense a nature and so much in it of wild passionate qualities that in giving himself to a women he might love, he would give everything, and so take everything from his chosen field. I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

The late Napoleon Hill was one of the most successful self-help authors of the 20th century. His famous book Think and Grow Rich is among the top 10 best-selling self-help books of all time. In it, he has a chapter entitled “The Mystery of Sex: Transmutation.” Transmutation is about redirecting the energy innate in powerful sexual urges into other creative pursuits. Napoleon Hill said it best himself.

Sex desire is the most powerful of human desires. When driven by this desire, men develop keenness of imagination, courage, will-power, persistence, and creative ability unknown to them at other times. So strong and impelling is the desire for sexual contact that men freely run the risk of life and reputation to indulge it. When harnessed, and redirected along other lines, this motivating force maintains all of its attributes of keenness of imagination, courage, etc., which may be used as powerful creative forces in literature, art, or in any other profession or calling, including, of course, the accumulation of riches.

Other celebrities have commented on this same alleged power. Music mogul and fashion designer Kanye West had this to say.

I have, like, nuclear power, like a superhero, like Cyclops when he puts his glasses on. . . People ask me a lot about my drive. I think it comes from, like, having a sexual addiction at a really young age. Look at the drive that people have to get sex—to dress like this and get a haircut and be in the club in the freezing cold at 3 a.m., the places they go to pick up a girl. If you can focus the energy into something valuable, put that into work ethic. . .

Stephen T. Chang, Master of Taoist Philosophy, illustrated his belief that climaxing has a draining effect on a man’s mind and body.

When the average male [climaxes], he loses about one tablespoon of semen. According to scientific research, the nutritional value of this amount of semen is equal to that of two pieces of New York steak, ten eggs, six oranges, and two lemons combined. That includes proteins, vitamins, minerals, amino acids, everything… [Climax] is often called ‘coming’. The precise word for it should be ‘going,’ because everything — the erection, vital energy, millions of live sperm, hormones, nutrients, even a little of the man’s personality goes away. It is a great sacrifice for the man, spirituality, mentally, and physically.

Going even further back in time, Proverbs 31 of the Bible recounts the advice that the mother of King Lemuel (possibly King Solomon himself) gave him. She had this to say in verse 3, an injunction potentially relevant to the topic.

Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings.

Proverbs 31:3

Retention has an ancient pedigree and there are many people today who swear by its benefits. I have read countless testimonials online of users who claim to have experienced a myriad of benefits with this discipline. Reported benefits include clarity of mind, increased female attraction, decreased anxiety, higher energy levels, greater resilience, a stronger immune system, more charisma, sharper creativity, and better masculinity.

For further reading, check out

• A Scientific Explanation For the Benefits of Semen Retention
• 100 Days of Retention (7 Fascinating Observations)
• Sunlight is the Key to Testosterone and Athletic Performance in Males.

There will always be another mountain to climb. Learn to love the process.

It’s amazing what you can learn about someone when you give them an opportunity to talk about their past. This observation is especially true of immigrants, whose stories transcend borders, oceans, and cultural homogeneity. As it relates to the US, its historical and present-day status as a hot spot for immigrants is a well-established phenomenon. Among the biggest drivers of immigration to the US today are religious and political freedom, economic opportunity, and a desire to be closer to family. Whether you like to think of the US as a unicultural melting pot or a multicultural salad bowl, the fact remains that there are nearly as many immigrant stories as there are people.

June is Caribbean-American Heritage Month. In 2006, Congress and the White House adopted this observance in order to “celebrat[e] the rich Caribbean heritage and the many ways in which Caribbean Americans have helped shape this Nation” (source). This week, I visited Brittney Judhan, a longtime family friend and neighbor, to learn about her colorful experiences as a first-generation immigrant to the US. Brittney grew up in Trinidad & Tobago before moving to Columbus, Ohio, at age 8. After graduating high school, Brittney worked for the family-owned business—Eternal Salon & Spa—as a cosmetologist, hair stylist and business manager for more than a decade.

I hope you enjoy the following account of a fascinating 90-minute interview conducted in-person. You can catch Brittney on Instagram @my_sunshine 

Tell the people a little bit about yourself.

My name is Brittney. I’m 29 years old. I am the second oldest of three siblings. I have an older brother and a younger sister. I love the outdoors and spending time with family. I’m a semi-retired hair stylist, and I’m the best auntie in the world.

My family is from Trinidad, but I was born in New Jersey. My mom traveled to the US before I was born so that I would have American citizenship, but I was raised in Trinidad. When I was 8 years old, my family moved to Columbus, Ohio, which is where I currently live.

What was it like growing up in the Caribbean?

It was perfect. It was magical. It was great weather all the time. Sunshine, hanging out with friends and family. The food was amazing. I felt like we were always around family and always spending time outdoors. Even the school building was designed in a way that breezes were always coming in from outside. There was also a pool at the house that we would swim in.

I had one best friend, Kelcie. On the weekend, I would always go to Kelcie’s house, or she would come to my house. A lot of my memories from Trinidad were with Kelcie and her family.

Was your family indigenous to Trinidad or did they arrive there as immigrants? 

My dad’s side of the family is Indian. I don’t know the whole story, but I know there were Indian indentured laborers who came to Trinidad in the 19^th century to work on sugar plantations. There’s a holiday in Trinidad, Indian Arrival Day, that some people celebrate to commemorate the arrival of these workers. As far as my mom’s side of the family, a volcanic eruption took place on the nearby Caribbean island of Martinique, and so her grandfather and his family fled to Trinidad.

We literally have every kind of people in Trinidad. There are Indians. There are Muslims. There are people of African origin. And they all tend to hang out together in their own communities.

You moved to the US when you were 8 years old. What was that transition like? 

I remember I could not say Ohio for some reason. I thought we were moving to Hawaii. I literally told everybody I was moving to Hawaii. We have family in New Jersey, so we flew into New Jersey first, and we stayed with family for a week or two. We bought a van, and then drove from New Jersey to Ohio.

My parents picked Ohio because of World Harvest Church. They knew that this was the central location they wanted to be in. My dad had enrolled in the Bible college and he liked the fact that they had a Christian academy for the kids. When we first got to Ohio, we stayed at a motel—Econo Lodge—while we were looking for a house. It must have been for no more than a few months, but as a kid it felt like we were there for a very long time.

This whole time, I’m thinking, “We’re coming to America. Things are bigger and better than what is on the small island of Trinidad.” In Ohio, I came to a hard reality that a) we moved there in the dead of winter, so it was freezing cold. And b) we were living in a motel. I went from living in a mansion in Trinidad to a motel in the US.

I think I got my ideas about the US from TV. Watching TV, I got the impression that everything in America is bigger and better. When we were living in Trinidad, my dad would also go on business trips to the US, and he would come back with these amazing gifts from America. He would buy me and my sister the biggest teddy bears, and I would think, “This teddy bear came from America, it’s so big.”

Back in Ohio, my parents ended up buying this small house. The reason they bought it was because it was close to the church. My parents promised us we would only be living in America for three years, and then we would go back to Trinidad. And so I thought “I can handle this, it’s only three years.” My siblings and I would often joke that we moved from a mansion to a motel to a dollhouse.

After three years went by, my parents decided that we were going to stay in America until my siblings and I graduated high school. Eventually, we retired the small doll house and purchased a bigger house in Pickerington, which is when we became your neighbor. At that point, I thought, “We have space again, so living in America isn’t that bad.” I had my own room for the first time, which was amazing.

You recently got a DNA test—were there any bombshell revelations? 

I am predominantly Asian– 51% Southern Indian and 39% Northern Indian. I knew I had some Indian in me, but I didn’t realize just how much. I thought I would have more African in me, but as it turns out, I am only 2 or 3% Western and Southern African (Togo, Nigeria, Benin). I am also like 1% Italian. My mom would always say that we have European in us, talk about how she’s half-European, and I always laughed at her. “Mom, you are not any type of European. Get out of here.”

When I got the results back, I was surprised we had any European at all. I thought I would have some kind of Spanish or Latin American roots because of how her side of the family looks. My dad looks Indian, but my mom does not.

What’s it like when you go back to visit? 

It’s very weird to me, and a little bit sad because I wish I was more in touch with my Trinidad roots. I just feel a little out of place sometimes, especially because of the way I talk and not knowing my way around. But once I’m around family, I feel very happy. In Trinidad, they have a very strong accent, and I do not have an accent at all. After I speak, the locals treat me like a tourist. They don’t give me the hook-up because I’m an American. There is a lot of Trini slang that I understand, but I don’t feel comfortable using it because I don’t have the accent and I didn’t grow up there.

Our relatives still live in Trinidad, and we still have the same house we grew up in. Whenever we go back, it’s very nostalgic. I do remember when I first went back to the house, everything seemed smaller, but that’s because I was grown up. Now that I’m older and can buy my own plane ticket, I try to visit every two years for a few weeks.

What is one thing people don’t know about Trinidad? 

Literally no one knows where its located. Trinidad is off the coast of Venezuela. It is the last Caribbean island. And the equator runs straight through it, so it’s hot all year round.

People also assume that Trinidad is really touristy because it’s an island. It isn’t. The most touristy time of the year is carnival, which lasts about a week. It’s like this big long party. Trinidad’s sister island, Tobago, is a much bigger tourist destination. 

Your family is known for being really high energy. Is this more of a Judhan thing, or would you say Caribbean culture is a factor? 

It’s definitely a Caribbean culture thing. I’m almost positive that Caribbean culture is just naturally loud. We are a very energetic people and a very passionate people, I would say. We just want to enjoy life. People in Trinidad either work too hard or play too hard–it’s always one or the other.  

Your family has operated a salon in Pickerington, Ohio—Eternal Salon & Spa—for as long as I can remember. How did your family get involved in the beauty business? 

It started with my paternal grandmother. I don’t know how she got started, but I know she had a hair salon and cosmetology school in Trinidad. That’s actually how my mom and dad met—my mom attended my grandma’s cosmetology school. My dad got involved in the hair industry because of my grandma and wanted to help her further the business. They created a hair product line, Eternal Products. By the way, the name of the salon was Suzan’s Unisex Salon, which is where I got my middle name.

When my parents decided to stay in the US, they did not have in mind that they were going to open a salon in Ohio. When I was a senior in high school, I told them I want to go to cosmetology school. My dad said, “I guess we’re starting a salon because you are not going to work for anyone else.”

My dad always instilled in us an entrepreneurial spirit. He wanted us to get the most benefit out of everything that we did. I graduated high school in 2009, and we started leasing space in a strip mall. I worked as a receptionist in the salon while I was finishing hair school, and I got my license in October of 2010.

There are a lot of titles in the beauty industry–cosmetologist, esthetician, beautician, hair stylist, barber and so on. What do these different terms signify?

Cosmetologists are licensed in the general field of beauty. That includes hair, skin, and nails. Cosmetologists can do facials, waxing, manicures, pedicures; they can legally cut men and women’s hair and apply hair chemicals. Estheticians specialize in waxing and skin care. They can go into more depth than a general cosmetologist. Estheticians can apply chemical to the face, do extractions, and other more invasive therapies, but they don’t do hair or nails. Beautician is an older term for a hair stylist. If you want to be a hair stylist, you have to get a cosmetology license. There are also what we call nail technicians—people who do nails only but cannot do hair or skin. Barber is only cutting, and primarily for male clients.

What was it like to work for the family business for as long as you did, both as a cosmetologist and business manager?

I am first and foremost very grateful for the opportunity that my parents gave me, to be able to run a business successfully at a young age, and to fulfill my dreams that I’ve always wanted as a young child. However, it was very, very, very difficult and stressful. I was 17, 18, 19, when I was doing a lot of the managerial stuff that I didn’t necessarily go to school for. I learned from experience and asking questions, but getting thrown into it at a young age was very stressful and time-consuming.

I lived with my parents, as well. The business wasn’t like a switch that you could turn on and off. I worked long hours, and I would come home, and we would talk about it some more. Also, seeing what my parents gave me, I felt like I had something to live up to. They didn’t literally tell me, “Hey, you have to work hard,” but there was this untold expectation of doing well and not squandering it. This is probably why I overworked myself. Subconsciously not wanting to disappoint my parents, I worked all the time.

What led you to step away from the salon?

When I first decided to become a hair stylist, I always said “I’m going to work my butt off for 10 years. I’m going to put in as much work as possible. I’m going to do the long hours. After 10 years, I’m retiring, and maybe I will help run the salon, but no more clients.”

By 2020, at age 28, I was ready to retire. I knew that October would mark my 10-year anniversary, which is when I said that I would quit. However, my clientele at the time was really large. I didn’t feel comfortable leaving them just yet, and I was trying to find a way to make a smooth transition. When the pandemic happened, I thought it was the perfect time to step away, and that clients would be more understanding. I had also been losing my hair due to stress. I had developed alopecia. This had happened one other time when I was like 18 or 19 and had a lot of managerial and hair styling responsibilities. To sum it up, I knew I needed to cut back on the stress, and my 10-years was coming up.

I still love doing hair. It is my passion. It’s what I believe I was called to do. I enjoy it thoroughly. I still do a couple clients on the side, and I also still do hair styling for special events, like weddings. I try to help a little bit with the management of the salon—the girls can text me questions for advice on clients—but I don’t physically go into the salon and deal with people face to face.

What is one thing people don’t know about you? 

I feel like I’m very much an open book, I love to talk, and there’s almost nothing that people don’t know about me. One thing–if I say hi to you and don’t say your name, it’s because I don’t remember your name. I’m not good at remembering. If I know your name I always say “Hi, the person’s name.” For example, when I see you, I say, “Hi, Benny.”

Have you ever experienced culture shock?

I was oblivious to a lot of things when I was young, but I do remember I had a very heavy accent when I first came to the US, and people were constantly correcting the way I said things and the terminology I used. 

Besides that, going to cosmetology school was the real culture shock. My background is very sheltered, conservative, and small. Everybody at my high school knew each other, and we all pretty much had the same morals and standards. So I went from being in that kind of environment to a very wide, liberal environment. There were other young girls, there were older people seeking to reinvent themselves, but nobody who shared my beliefs and background. People would tell crazy stories about parties and things that happened on the weekend.

I remember girls didn’t initially like me in hair school. I was bubbly and happy, and they thought I was fake. But then later they got to know me, and they realized Brittney is that person. Brittney is bubbly and happy.

If you had to pick one destination to live the rest of your life, where would it be?  

A hot tropical island. I don’t know which one specifically, but I would want it to be a hot tropical island. I love being warm. Sunshine makes me happy. And I would like to be close to the water, so I can go swimming on the beach anytime I want. I also feel like the people who live there have a more laid back, hakuna matata lifestyle.

What is your biggest regret?

I regret when I was working really hard in my 20s, I never made the time for vacations. I could have done vacations and still made enough money, but for some reason I didn’t realize it at the time. 

What are some things you hope to do or achieve in the next 5-10 years?

I will say this is also a thing I’ve been struggling with lately. I feel like I want to achieve something or create something, but I don’t know what it is yet. Hopefully, within the next 5-10 years, I find something that inspires me because I don’t want to be involved with anything I’m not passionate about.

I am planning on getting married to my fiancé next April, and would like to start a family. Right now, I’m thinking I want maybe two kids, but that depends on how the pregnancy and delivery go, and what means we have available.

I want to visit South Africa. I want to visit tropical islands, like Hawaii and Fiji. I want to visit India. I’ve always wanted to visit India, but not as a tourist. I want to go to volunteer in some capacity.

I tend to live life as it comes. I’m not the best at setting goals because then I feel stress to make sure I achieve them. When opportunities come for something to happen, and it’s exciting to me, then I take action to make it happen.

I’m going to ask you several questions in quick succession. You can limit your answers to no more than a few sentences.

What is the thing you are most proud of?

My car because I bought it on my own, paid in full. It’s a Nissan Rogue. This was back in 2016.

What is your favorite dish to cook?  

Right now, it’s baked sweet potatoes with ground turkey and kale. The ground turkey and kale go on the skillet, with baked potatoes on the side.

What is your favorite dish to eat?

I don’t have a favorite dish specifically, but I love Mexican food.

What is your favorite holiday?

My birthday. Does that count? A few months ago, I turned 29. Since this was my last birthday in my 20s, I wanted it to feel fun and festive. We did a party at the park. My family and friends were there, and we played kickball. I really enjoyed it because it made me feel very childlike. I love that carefree, fun feeling.

Who is your favorite celebrity?

I don’t have one. I could care less about them… I lied! I love Celine Dion. And Adrienne Bailon-Houghton from The Cheetah Girls.

If you could go back in time and have dinner with one person, who would it be? 

It would be my grandpa John, on my mother’s side. Grandpa John was the G.O.A.T. He was my first grandparent to pass away, when I was maybe 15 or 16. He was always so lively, and the way he lived life was really inspiring. He was also a great storyteller, and I think it would be cool to listen to grandpa John’s stories one more time.

Stress-fasting is a lot more healthy than stress eating. Let the body work itself out.

Acquire the spirit of peace and thousands around you will be saved.

I identify as a night owl. The evenings are when I tend to be most relaxed and productive. I enjoy talking to friends, surfing the web, reading, meditating, and watching live sports into the wee hours of the morning. My current circumstances enable this lifestyle. However, I’ve also come to realize that there are powerful psychological benefits to waking up early.

When we wake up at the last possible minute before some obligation, or after we’ve exhausted every minute of sleep, we become passive players in life. Our circumstances and obligations bully us into doing things we would rather not. Waking up earlier than necessary changes the narrative. It communicates an embrace of the challenges and opportunities of life and transforms us from passive to active participants. There is a reason why most successful, high-energy, go-getter personality types tend to wake up early. Human beings have also evolved to be highly competitive and conscious of others. When we are awake in the morning while others are asleep, we often feel at a social advantage, and vice-versa.

Recently, I re-discovered a powerful life hack that started working for me almost instantly: intermittent fasting. Intermittent fasting can be a powerful tool for waking up earlier and with better energy. My routine right now consists of me not consuming any calories after 3 or 4 PM. This creates a powerful incentive for me to go to bed earlier and rise earlier to fullfull nature’s most primal instinct. And it tends to have an energetic carry-over effect the rest of the day.

This routine may be difficult to execute, even for people who have extensive experience with intermittent fasting. I, for one, intermittent fasted for more than a year, and my feeding window was always sometime in the afternoon and evening. When I recently stopped eating in the evenings, I realized just how much I enjoy doing it, when all the work for the day is complete and my mind is in entertainment mode. The evening is also when I hang out with friends and family and like to socialize over a meal.

Abstinence requires forethought and discipline, especially when I know I’m going to be around people or engaged in some athletic activity. It means I have to be disciplined to eat enough calories during my feeding window to sustain me for the rest of the day and not to cave to the temptation to eat for pleasure when time, company, and good food are abundant.

Some say the only thing that matters is what you eat, not when you eat it. My experience leads me to believe otherwise.

Note: Fasting is not for everyone and you should do your due diligence and consult your doctor before beginning any fasting regiment.

The average person in the 21st century is bombarded with negative media on the daily. I’m talking about politics, crime, gossip, and marketing that preys on human psychology. Everybody has an agenda, but is that agenda in our best interest? What if, instead of blindly going with the flow and feeding our worst instincts, we went out of our way to circulate positive media? I bet we would all be a little less neurotic and a little more grateful for the lives that we live. That’s the gap I hope to bridge in this article.

This week I called up my good friend, Jeffrey Hawthorne, to enlighten me with the good taking place in the world. Jeffrey has spent the better part of the last 5 years in the business world. He is the Founder and President of Take Courage International (TCI), a non-profit based out of Honduras. In this article, Jeffrey elaborates on the charitable work being done by TCI, and the role that vision and faith have played in his personal evolution. For him, the motto is “one step at a time,” trusting that the right process will yield the desired outcome. I hope by the end of the page, you feel a little more compassionate and in-tune with what truly matters in life, as this is the effect our 90-minute conversation had on me.

Take Courage exists to change the future of children and leaders around the world by meeting needs and unlocking potential.

TCI Mission Statement

Tell the people a little bit about yourself.  

I live in Columbus, Ohio, with my wife Fabiola of almost two years. I studied business in college, and currently work in banking and finance as a Portfolio Manager. I have entrepreneurial ambitions that are still in development. My true passion, however, lies in the charitable work that I’m involved in. It is what gives me energy and makes my heart come alive. Due to the demands of my current job, I have to make time for it in the evenings and on the weekends.

When did the thought first occur to you, “I want to start a foundation!”

I remember one day I was sitting in a college class. It was a liberal arts theology requirement. That day, I started dreaming of founding a non-profit that did all sorts of different things. The non-profit would serve as a food bank, a homeless shelter, a boys and girls club. It would teach classes and offer skills training. It might have a church or ministry associated with it. I envisioned a large campus that would serve as a home for these activities. This is my first recollection, back in the spring of 2014.

How long did it take the vision to reach fruition?

The foundation was an outgrowth of mission trips we were taking to Honduras. I started going twice a year with a team of people from my church. These trips were evangelical in nature. A fellow team member, Avery, suggested we add a philanthropic dimension to the work being done, that could serve the population both while we were there and after we had left. The team decided to focus on one poor village we were acquainted with, Nueva Esperanza, located in Santa Barbara, Honduras. We conducted healing clinics, complete with prayer and medical supplies, and a nurse practitioner accompanied us on our trips. We also raised money from our church to sponsor needy children. Local pastors identified the children with the greatest need. The money went toward clothing, school supplies, Christmas and birthday cards, and occasional medical screens. Kids in the program would leave school and go to the church to eat lunch. Altogether, we started sponsoring around 15 kids.

While all of this was going on, I got the opportunity to meet with Nelson Castellanos, who was El Presidente de Municipalidades, a local mayor who had 16 villages under his jurisdiction. We chatted and prayed in his office. Recognizing the impact of our work, Mr. Castellanos later committed his office to providing lunches to an additional 250 children in 2017. This was confirmation of the work we were doing and motivated us to keep moving forward.

In February of 2018, I took action to formalize our work through Ohio’s Secretary of State Office. Operating under an official organization would provide structure and integrity. It would give people an accountable way to give and create mechanisms for assessing the execution of our mission. It was the logical next step.

As for the organization today, it consists of a President, Vice President, Secretary and Treasury. I occupy the first and last roles, while my friends Avery and Hannah are Vice President and Secretary, respectively. Everyone contributes on a volunteer basis, with the exception of a field program coordinator and local pastor who receives a modest stipend.

What was the hardest part getting started?

When you found a non-profit, you are required by the government to draft bylaws and articles of incorporation, addressing the who, what, where, when, and why aspects of the organization. I didn’t find this part particularly challenging. However, due to a misunderstanding of terms, I made the mistake of classifying the organization as a private entity rather than a public one when filing with the IRS to receive nonprofit status. I reached out to an accountant who agreed to help us out pro bono, and it still ended up taking several months in limbo and costing us around $500 to get the designation corrected. This sum was in addition to the original $500 we paid to get the organization incorporated and considered a 501(c)(3).

You were born and raised in the American Midwest. TCI is based out of Honduras. When did you know you had a heart for Central America?  

In the beginning, it had more to do with need and opportunity. A missionary friend from my church, who had lived in Honduras for years, opened up a door for us to start accompanying him on trips. That initial connection led to new doors being opened and new relationships being developed that outgrew the original ones. As I got more involved, my love for the people there took on a life of its own. Honduras is also where I met my wife, Fabiola, in the capital city of Tegucigalpa, through the work we were doing.

In November of 2020, Hurricane Eta (Category 4) and Hurricane Iota (Category 5) swept through large parts of Central America, including Honduras, leaving behind hundreds of deaths, widespread property destruction, and around $10 billion in overall damages. Can you talk about the role TCI played in the disaster relief effort?

Local infrastructure and buildings were highly susceptible to flooding. In a lot of Honduran homes, the floors are not sealed to the doors, and so light rain can penetrate, let alone rain of a torrential variety. You can imagine the hurricanes sweeping through towns, destroying cars, homes, and neighborhoods. The landscape didn’t stand a chance.

The relationships we had built in the country enabled us to respond in a timely fashion. It started with my in-laws’ church in Tegucigalpa. They donated clothes, beds, jackets—anything they could bring to people in need. Tegucigalpa is located in the South. Most of the damage took place in the North, in an area called La Lima, close to the airport. Businesses in the capital and places that had not been ravaged donated commercial-grade trucks for transport. As for TCI, we launched an aggressive fundraising campaign, letting people know what was going on and that we were making plans to help. Mind you, we had to think on the fly, as this this wasn’t something we had prepared to handle.

We deposited the money into the country in three waves. The first wave, accounting for the majority of donations, came within 48 hours, and the second came within a week. Both of them went toward food. We discovered that for $15, we could feed a family of 5 for 15 days. We worked with local grocers to source the food and created a care package with basic foodstuffs like pasta, rice, and beans. In this way, we were able to support local business and people that had been affected by the disaster in different ways. In the end, with additional financial support from two local churches in Honduras, we were able to raise enough money to supply 90,000 meals. We also assembled bags of baby formula and diapers for mothers and babies. We ended up doing 200 of those.

TCI donated the third wave of money, which came in throughout the month, to people whose homes were still standing but had lost everything inside. We had a connection with pastors in the city of Comayagua, who had already begun this work and were responsible for administering the aid.

It seems to me that most people are really busy with their lives, trying to keep up with their personal goals and obligations. Some have good intentions when it comes to others, but don’t make the time to reach out. Any advice for us—how do you balance the charity work you do with the responsibilities of your private life?

The first thing I will say is I’ve definitely struggled with finding the time myself. I partially fit the definition of having good intentions but letting other obligations get in the way. The last two years, I’ve moved twice, gotten married, done many things that have taken time away from the good that I could be doing, all the while dealing with my own life processes and emotions.

There are times when I may not feel like it, I may not want to, I may think up any number of excuses. In those times, I remind myself of the vision, which gives me the motivation to keep going. The vision of TCI is in line with what I believe my life purpose is, to feed the nations in spirit, in soul, and in body. In addition, I have found that moving forward with the work is always in my own best interest, even amidst personal life challenges. When I waste time pursuing fruitless endeavors, it only exacerbates whatever I may be going through, while philanthropic work tends to have the opposite effect.

That was the macro-level answer. On the micro-level, I think of the individual lives being impacted, the names and faces of children that we are sponsoring. I think of Enrique and Evelyn and Jeysi. Organization and management are important, but you never want to lose touch with the individual because that’s what it’s ultimately all about.

Where do you envision TCI 5-10 years from now? Do you have any intention of changing or growing the mission? 

First and foremost will always be feeding the children and taking care of their basic needs. Also, I want to teach children how to dream. About a better future. About who they can be and what they can accomplish in life.

One goal of mine is to develop a curriculum, entitled What I Can Be. A lot of people in underdeveloped areas, often rural, have a narrow concept of what they can go on to do, informed by the constraints of their immediate environment. They may be able to envision 4 or 5 career paths—field work, construction, ministry, medicine, education—that’s pretty much it. And some may aspire to work in the car industry. The heart behind this idea is to acquaint kids from a young age with the abundance of opportunities out there. When they’re 5, it may be as simple as instilling the idea, “Oh, cool. I can be an engineer.” As they get older, we would teach them the specifics of different occupations and connect them with the educational and financial resources to pursue them. Instead of a few possibilities, we multiply that by a factor of 10. Scientists, lawyers, engineers, politicians, accountants, and so on and so forth. This is how you impact society from the bottom up.

I also want to connect with local leaders working in their communities to bring about societal transformation. There are many such people, doing much good, who already have a vision for what transformation looks like. In developing countries, you often get these well-meaning people who come from the West with their money and dictate to the locals what they need to do. “Hey, this is what change is going to look like.” I have found, though, that partnering with local leaders, who have real influence and insight, is a preferable way of going about it. This is what I would call top-down impact. When you impact children from the bottom up and leaders from the top down, transformation in the whole of society is the natural outcome.

I should add that I want the work to grow and expand in an organic fashion. To my mind, material and relational growth should go hand in hand. Before we increase the number of kids we sponsor and expand into other domains, we want to master the processes, procedures, and relationships that are already in place. We also don’t need the added pressure of forcing anything that may not be a good fit. Having said that, more sponsorships, more medical and healing clinics, microloans for businesses, scholarships, etc. would all be amazing to see.

Eventually, I also want to expand outside of Honduras. I have no geographic region or timetable in mind, and will stick to my policy of letting things play out organically, relationally, to the best of my abilities. Ideally, we will be able to adapt some of what we’ve learned into any new mission fields. The goal is to take it one step at a time with the belief that eventually these steps will lead us around the world.

Anything else you want to say to the people reading this?

Whatever things make you heart come alive, whatever things you find purpose in–Do more of those things. You don’t need to know all of the answers before you take the first step. And you can continue taking steps without knowing all of the answers. Also, it is alright to stumble, just get back up and keep taking more steps. Visit the website if you want to get involved or discover more information about who we are and what we do.

Fortune favors the bold. Audentes fortuna iuvat.

The pandemic has prompted a surge in cooking as people spend more time at home and are wary of going out. Some have taken up cooking as a hobby, while others have resorted to it as something even more vital. I myself have spent more time in the kitchen since the pandemic broke out, spatula and saltshaker in hand, than the rest of my life put together. I find cooking to be viscerally satisfying and an opportunity to create meaningful experiences with those around me. Growth in this area has beyond doubt been one of the pandemic’s biggest legacies in my life.

This backstory motivated me to reach out to my friend and travel companion, Frankie Isabelle. When he isn’t doing bicep curls or philosophizing about the state of world affairs, there is a good probability you can find Frankie in the kitchen cooking up some fire. Frankie has a reputation in our friend group as “the best cook of the bunch” and is known for making lavish preparations, complete with herbal tea, spice-induced aromatherapy, and ethnic cuisine. He contends that if cooking for you is all about the eating, then you may be missing the point. Frankie shares his experience, gleaned from his upbringing, travel, and observation, that could transform the way you view one of planet earth’s most ancient arts.

Tell the people a little bit about your background.

I’m the oldest of three brothers. I come from a Mediterranean background. My mother’s family is Lebanese. My father’s family is Italian and Irish. A friend of mine always jokes that the Irish are the only Mediterranean people north of France. I was born in strip-mall hell, Columbus, Ohio, which was really not such a bad place before all the yuppie gentrification projections turned the city into a giant shopping mall. These days they say that Columbus will be a Smart City. I guess that means it will have dumb residents.

In some Middle Eastern households, the kitchen is considered a feminine space. How does that stereotype square with your experience growing up in the US with an ethnically Lebanese mom?

I have never experienced the kitchen as a strictly feminine space. One thing I have noticed with the women in my family is that they do not like anyone near the kitchen when they are cooking. Asides from this, my mom was the breakfast specialist, and my father seemed to enjoy cooking, as well. In any case, he was always the grill master, and often cooked dinner. Growing up, both of my parents worked long hours, and I often had to fend for myself. Nevertheless, I do appreciate when people make me food, and I feel especially gratified when a woman makes me food.

When I was 17 years-old—and with the infinite wisdom of a 17 year-old—I decided to become a vegan. Nobody in my family was very interested in cooking vegan. Fortunately for me, Lebanese cuisine is easily adapted to a vegan diet, so I didn’t have a very difficult time at family meals. I’m talking about Loubieh bi Zeit (green beans in olive oil); Tabbouleh (vegetarian salad); Fattoush (bread-based salad); Bamieh (okra); and Warak Enab (stuffed grape leaves)—all mainstays of any Levantine kitchen. The problem was that this food was never enough to maintain my weight, and so I had to learn creative strategies for satisfying my body’s needs. This is where my interest in cooking really took off.

Most people assume that vegans are health-conscious people. All right–fair enough–but that doesn’t mean they want to eat limp kale for every meal. So, the question for me was really, how I do I create savory dishes that pack the same punch as animal based foods? Now that I’m no longer vegan, I still love to cook, but for a different reason: most of the Frankenfood for sale at restaurants and grocers has little nutritional value and is often toxic. Cooking our own food affords us greater control over the quality.

What makes a successful experience in the kitchen?

My best experiences in the kitchen are when I’m able to be creative with what’s at hand. And the only way for that to happen is to take risks, make mistakes, and improvise. With enough time you will be able to establish your preferred flavor profiles. My go-to consists of lemon, salt, pepper, onions, and garlic. As a cook, you will need to discover what combinations work best for you.

I do consult recipes because I am curious how certain things are made, but I am never constrained by them. A lot of people don’t cook because they lack the knowledge or are afraid to mess up, and there’s no excuse for either. If you feel uncomfortable, plan ahead so that you have what you need. Personally, I’ve never been a rule follower, and nobody in my family could ever give me any straightforward answers when I asked them how they made a particular dish. It was always, “I don’t know, I’ve made this my whole life,” or “a little bit of this and a pinch of that,” or “taste it as you go”.

For some people, cooking is transactional. They cook in order to eat. You, on the other hand, take a more holistic view. Can you speak to the psychological or social benefits of cooking?

When we develop the capacity to realize our desires in the world around us, we become more confident and aware of our own needs and interests. The same thing applies to cooking. Any time you eliminate the gap between production and consumption, you are moving in the direction of health.

The best part about cooking is the meal, and not just the eating. I use the word meal because it implies a social element. Sharing food is a way for us to reconnect with our communal nature and to make contact with other vital needs that are ignored or considered less than “essential” by the modern world. In my experience, the happiest cultures recognize the implicit connection between social harmony and shared meals. Take the Mediterranean world, for example. Hosts take the initiative, and guests are not allowed to self-serve. The goal is to establish a rapport and to break down the barriers that stand in the way of genuine connections. Would you like coffee or tea? How does the food taste? Is it salty enough? Sweet enough? Sour enough? In the context of a meal, valuable insight can be gained. Do they eat slow or fast? Do they put their elbows on the table? Are they particular or easygoing? And so, in these cultures, food and its prerequisites are a socially meaningful experience, and cooking can be a tool to create the connections that are so important to our well-being as a species.

You spent a part of this summer with the Amish. What did you take away from that experience?

I was struck first by the structured approach of the Amish. They pray before each meal starts and after each meal ends. They eat together, unlike most Americans. Compared to the Amish, my eating habits were a bit decadent, and I gained a reputation as something of a foodie. “You like to eat good, Frankie”, they always told me. I worked hard that summer, but I never took breaks shorter than an hour. Fortunately, the Amish like dessert, so they were also quite fond of afternoon naps.

To my mind, eating should be a pleasurable experience, not a mere transaction to gain the calories we need to survive. In the United States, there’s very little concept of quality. Everything is about quantity. We are always in a rush. And our relationship with food is mostly passive and consumptive. We have lost touch with what makes us feel good. And one of the things that makes us feel good is eating from our own labor and sharing the fruits of our effort with those around us. In the Arabic world, a greedy person is said to have a big stomach (baá¹­no kbir), while a virtuous person is said to “eat from his fatigue” (yakol min taÊ¿abo). This is something that is a lot easier to achieve on a farm, and it is one of the reason why I think the Amish are so content with their simple lifestyle.

What is your favorite dish to cook?

I don’t have a favorite dish, but my favorite utensil is bread. I love it, for example, when everyone eats from a common bowl or dish. Potlucks have a similar appeal. When we eat this way, we function in the context of other people and their needs, and this forces us to develop more self-awareness.

During the last year, a lot of people have taken up cooking as a hobby or cooked more due to the limitations of eating out. How has the pandemic affected your culinary habits? 

We saw the panic buying that took place. Every animal on the earth knows how to get food, except for people. When supply chains get disrupted, fear sets in. The Amish taught me a lot about hunting and agriculture. They know where food comes from because they live off of the land. Knowing how to produce your own food is not only empowering, it’s also vital to a well-lived life. There’s plenty of studies where lab animals demonstrate greater satisfaction upon acquiring their own food rather than having it delivered pre-packaged and pre-dosed. The less dependent I am on the marketplace, the more confident and healthy I feel.

What advice would you give people just learning how to cook or people with an interest in cooking but don’t know where to start?

Start with what you already know—everybody knows something—and cook only the meals that you like. If you cook something that you don’t like, either don’t cook it again or change how you prepare it. As you do this, your repertoire will expand. That’s it. If your really struggling, watch some videos online, and if you still can’t figure it out, you never will. Eat out or find a partner who likes to cook. You should also know every ingredient you put into your body. Stay away from processed foods.

The last thing I will say is if cooking feels like a chore, it’s probably because you are not working in harmony with your needs. You work mechanically and consume compulsively. This is a social problem that has no easy answers, and each person must find a solution suitable to their particular circumstances. Let food be your guide. If you have time to cook and share a meal, then you are moving in a direction of balance and stability. Lastly, don’t be so hard on yourself. Relax, and take your time.