There will always be another mountain to climb. Learn to love the process.

Stress kills. You’ve probably heard it 100 times. It’s a fact that stress affects people’s health, happiness, and hormones. Stress is a huge contributing factor to America’s chronic illness epidemic. Today society is more technologically advanced than ever but people are increasingly unhappy because of the pressure we collectively put on ourselves. The pressure to buy a bigger house or car, pay for a better education, get a better job, have a thick bank account for rainy days, and be successful–whatever that means. All of these things are good in and of themselves but I’ve seen how much their obsessive pursuit can rob us of happiness in the present moment. Remember, it’s about the journey as much as it is the destination. And you and I can only enjoy the journey if we take sensible measures to reduce stress. However, there’s another way of looking at stress and that is in terms of personal growth. Moderate amounts of stress can make us stronger and better equipped to handle future life challenges.

A few weeks ago, I featured Abraham Twerski on the true meaning of love. Today I’ve transcribed another short clip of his in which he talks about the constructive role that stress can play in our lives, building on an analogy of lobsters. And you know how much I love nature analogies. The message is simple—today’s stress can be tomorrow’s strength.

Transcript:

There’s something I want to tell you about stress and how we have to look at stress. And I think it’s an important thing because many people have told me from my lecture [this is] the one thing they remember. I was sitting in a dentist’s office and looked at an article that said “How do lobsters grow?” Well, I don’t care how lobsters grow, but I was interested, and it points out that a lobster is a soft, mushy animal that lives inside of a rigid shell. That rigid shell does not expand. Well, how can a lobster grow? As the lobster grows, that shell becomes very confining. The lobster feels itself under pressure and uncomfortable. It goes under a rock formation to protect itself from predatory fish, casts off the shell, and produces a new one. Eventually that shell becomes very uncomfortable as it grows, back under the rocks, and the lobster repeats this numerous times. The stimulus for the lobster to be able to grow is that it feels uncomfortable. Now if lobsters had doctors, they would never grow because as soon as the lobster feels uncomfortable, it goes to the doctor, gets Valium, gets a Percocet, feels fine. Never casts off its shell. So I think that we have to realize that times of stress are also times that are signals for growth. And if we use adversity properly, we can grow through adversity.

Sun Tzu, the famous mind behind the Art of War, studied war throughout his life. As a general, victory wasn’t something he could afford to be glib about. It was literally a matter of life and death. Tzu observed that all victories had one thing in common: they were never won on the battlefield. They were won in royal courts, military tents, and training camps where strategizing and preparation took place. And the best victory was the one in which no blood needed to be shed.

Life has many parallels with war, even in peacetime. Life is a struggle between good and evil. Life is a struggle between love and hate. Life is a struggle between selfishness and nobility. Life is a struggle between success and failure. And wisdom must be brought to bear if outcomes are to be favorable.

An exam isn’t passed or failed when the teacher hands out the paper. An athletic competition isn’t won or lost when the referee blows the whistle. An interview isn’t aced or bombed when the hiring manager asks the first question. A business doesn’t prosper or go bankrupt when the doors are open. A marriage doesn’t succeed or fail when the vows are recited. Health isn’t had or lost when an individual turns 40. Anger isn’t controlled or given free reign when someone utters an insulting word. And temptation isn’t overcome or indulged when the impulse to do evil appears.

If outcomes are predestined, they are predestined in the mind, well in advance of their materialization.

Watch your thoughts, for they become your words. Watch your words, for they become your actions. Watch your actions, for they become your habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

The phoenix in Greek mythology is a bird that periodically died and came back to life by rising from the ashes of its predecessor. The symbol of the phoenix is synonymous with personal rebirth and revival. We all go through seasons of change. Either changes pursues us with circumstances, or we pursue change with determination. All change is an opportunity to do better and be better.

This is the time of year when most of us are finalizing our New Year’s resolutions. We all have areas we want to improve in. Getting it done in 2020 is going to require letting go of old thoughts, habits, and ways of being that are not resourceful for meeting the challenges of tomorrow.

Today, I’ve transcribed an inspiring vlog published by a YouTuber named Elliott Hulse in the wake of the New Year. The vlog is entitled “Die before you die,” and centers on the necessity of change.

Transcript:

I got a question here from our friend. I can’t pronounce his name, but he says “Elliott, I do not expect you to look at this, but if you read it, what do you think about this quote: ‘The secret of life is to die before you die to find out there’s no death.'” Brother, that has been–I resonate deeply with that. My experience has been over the past several years, I’ve died to myself. And when I speak of dying I’m talking about an ego death. I’m still the same Elliott, but many of you can probably recognize that I’m not the same person. It has been a process of ego deconstruction. When the phoenix burns down or when Jesus says “You have to die to yourself to be accepted into the kingdom. You’ve got to let go of your old self in order to embrace the new.”

One thing he also says is you can’t put new wine in an old wineskin. I think that’s a perfect example of the benefit and the value of getting rid of your old container. Your own way of containing yourself and interfacing with the world. That really requires a throwing away. It requires a breaking down. It requires a dissolving. It requires a dying to an ego construct that is no longer resourceful for who you are to become in the next phase of your life.

This is an area where people get stuck all the time. We develop an ego construct. When I say ego construct, I’m literally talking about the interface by which we work with the world. If you can imagine your self, the outside world, which is really a figment of our imagination, but we work with it. We work with our experiences. We work with our circumstances as well as working with out internal processes. And then the ego being in between it. How do I bring myself to my circumstances? When you’re 14, there’s a way to be that allows you to interface with the world in a resourceful manner. It works for you when you’re 14. The problem is when you’re 21, and you’re still approaching life with the same ego construct that you had when you were 14, you don’t evolve. You remain the same old version of yourself even though you’re being called to change.

This is where you end up with men in their late 30s and 40s who have a mid-life crisis. And we’re lost because we’re still interfacing with the world with an old version of ourselves that’s no longer resourceful for the physiological and biological changes happening in our body. Oftentimes they’ll begin to make decisions that they would have made when they were 21. Because there’s a feeling of unease, right. You become 40, and there’s a feeling of unease. Things are not the way I think they should have been. And then in that anxiety, you go back and you begin bringing up all the old things that are associated with an ego that is no longer resourceful.

For the process of becoming a stronger version of yourself to be allowed, you have to die to those old desires. Die to the old fears, hopes, and dreams such that there is a complete obliteration, right. Old wineskins. If you’re wanting to be new, you can’t pour in new goals in the old you. You can’t pour inspiration into an old you. You can’t pour old wine into an old wineskin because you’ll ruin the wine. The wine won’t stay fresh and the wineskin will disintegrate. It can’t hold it. The container can’t hold it.

So you’re needing to reconstruct yourself in a new way so that you can take on the challenges and approach the truth about who you are in the next phase of your life. What this requires is not only a conscious and deliberate going-down process. A conscious and deliberate catabasis [going-down] period. It also requires that while you’re down there, while you’re in the belly of the beast, while you’re dying to your old self so that you can be reborn again, you begin to look at those things that are actually true. You begin to look at the things that you’ve ignored. You begin to look at the things that are truly resourceful for you and what your legacy will be in your life.

There’s a process of death and dying to those things that are no longer resourceful, and a bringing forward of those things that you’ve either forgotten about, that were in the shadows, that need to be resolved, that need to be brought forward, because they’re gifts. Shedding light on things that have been in the shadow allows you to process them. So that’s that. . . I have more to say about it, but I need a break. . . .

I’ll leave you with this last analogy. By the way, I refer to Biblical stories and what not because a lot of people know them. I don’t refer to it because I’m Bible-thumping or hoping that you’ll become a Christian. I am not a Christian myself. But I am a lover of wisdom. I am a lover of wisdom literature. I am a lover of religion because it is my experience and my belief that the manifestations of God–be it Abraham, Moses, Jesus, Buddha, Muhammad, Krishna, Zoroaster, Bahaullah–come to earth at a particular time. They’re all imbued with the spirit of God to teach us things that we need to know. So I truly believe that the pure essence of these teachers’ teachings are loaded with value. And can bring value into anyone’s life. So I advise you to open yourself up to reading the parables in the Bible and reading other wisdom literature.

That being said, Jonah in the whale is a wonderful story about what happens when it’s time to die to yourself and be born again. Jonah was a blessed dude. Jonah was doing well. He was well-off. He was wealthy. He was well-liked in his city and he was winning. God, your intuition, the universe–however you’d like to relate to the omnipotent, to the unknown, to the ever-present, to the Creator–will tap you on your shoulder. It happens not by a deep voice coming from a cloud. That’s a figment of our imagination, those are vain imaging and idle fancies, as Bahaullah called it. But it comes in the form of a sense within. For me it comes from a sense within.

Why I quit YouTube videos is because God had been kind of asking me to do this thing, and you can watch my videos leading up to my choosing to quit, where I’m like something’s not right. I don’t know what’s going on. Really I was resisting, but essentially God was saying, “Hey E. I need you to give up the things of the world for the moment because I have another job for you.” Jonah was doing well, God tapped him on his shoulder sand said ,”Jonah! I need you to help me out with something. I have another mission for you but you’re going to need to detach yourself from the things of this world. I know you’re a successful guy, I know that you’re doing well–Elliott–I know that you’re doing well. You got a million subscribers on YouTube. But I have greater things for you, I have a need for you.”

Jonah, like all of us, like myself, resists. “Ah, I can’t do that. I can’t give up all of this fame. I can’t give up all of this fortune. I can’t give up everyone loving me.” And so what happens is when you get that tap on the shoulder and if you ignore it, you end up like Jonah. Jonah went out on a boat with his boys not too long thereafter. A storm came, right, and he ended up getting tipped off over the boat into the deep dark watery unconscious. And not only did he dive deep into the waters, right. Into the darkness. Into the shadows because that’s where the work happens. The work always happens down deep below in those watery unconscious areas. But he was swallowed by a f**king whale. In the belly of the whale.

Now what happens in the belly of a whale down deep below in the unconscious. Digestion happens. And what is digestion? Jonah was being worked on in that belly. What is digestion? Digestion breaks things down. And when it breaks it down, it pulls out those things that are most resourceful. It pulls out those things that are needed. It pulls out those things that are nourishing. And it gets rid of the s**t. There are times when you will be digested in order to get rid of the s**t, so that your nourishing self can rise to the top. Done. I think I’m going to finish there.

You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens.

The small things in life are the big things. Make all the small, seemingly insignificant changes you can think of and watch your life radically change.

On this blog, I’ve shared many insights drawn from a rigorous fasting discipline over the years. Fasting has myriad benefits and we have an entire section dedicated to it on this website. I initially began fasting to heal. I wanted to test whether this ancient prescription could give me better results than my health clinic. It did. However, there are a number of reasons why people fast that my experiences do not adequately capture. A big one of them is spirituality. Fasting is common in the Buddhist, Islamic, and Judeo-Christian traditions. Many of the great prophets– including Moses, Jesus, and Paul–fasted for extended periods of time in the interest of spiritual development. Last month, I interviewed John David Contreras to get his perspective on the issue. Contreras has been featured elsewhere on this site elaborating on his colorful experiences in the United States. Contreras is a University Professor of English in his native Colombia and a Christian Pastor. He has served in ministry for 13 years and has preached at numerous churches in Colombia as well as the US. The following is an account of a live 60-minutes interview on WhatsApp.

How did you first get involved in the fasting business?

I was raised in a Christian home with Christian principles and values. Christian activities were normal to me, and fasting was one of them. In my hometown church, we would fast every Saturday until noon. I participated at a young age and so fasting is something I’ve been familiar with for a long time, but it wasn’t a big thing in my life until much later. I used to do it only because it was a requirement of serving in the church. That changed when I turned 15 or 16 years old. God started using me in a big way and I learned the spiritual benefits of fasting. Spirituality has always been my only motivation for fasting. I didn’t know until later that people do it to improve athletic performance and for physical healing.

Is fasting a regular discipline in your life or more of an occasional thing?

I fasted every Saturday during the last few months because I was going through a tough time. I was also a season of spiritual change and I wanted to accelerate the process. Now with work on Saturdays I have to create a new routine, but the goal is that fasting will always be a regular thing in my life. I want more of the Lord always, not only on special occasions.

Do you fast for general spiritual growth or with particular aims in mind?

I’ve fasted to break generational curses, for an increase in spiritual perception, for family and friends, and in preparation for events. I also fast to better align myself with the will of the Lord. There are general and specific reasons, and I don’t always distinguish between the two.

There are a few types of fasts mentioned in the Bible. They involve not eating [water fast]; not eating and drinking [dry fast]; and eating mainly vegetables [the “Daniel fast” as it is commonly known]. Which kind or kinds of fasting do you practice?

Normally I do no food and water. Recently I did a fast lasting two days where I drank water, but I’ve never done a partial fast like the Daniel fast you mentioned. I’m not saying it’s not from God–it undoubtedly works for some people–but I haven’t been led to do one yet.

How do you spend your time while fasting?

Prayer. Worship. Reading the Bible. Meditation. Watching sermons that speak to my life. Sometimes I sleep. The Lord often uses my dreams to speak to me while I’m fasting. If you’re fasting for spiritual gain, and you don’t pray, read the Bible, or do some other activity, then at the end of the day you’re just starving. The idea is to trade your natural food for spiritual food. And seeking God is the only way to get spiritual food.

What spiritual benefits do you attribute to fasting?

Fasting, combined with prayer, increases the power of God in my life. It sharpens my spiritual awareness, and it empowers me to die. The Bible talks about killing the flesh. Everything that does not bring pleasure to the Lord. As I already said, the Lord often speaks to me in dreams while fasting. That doesn’t mean the Lord will speak to everyone this way. God can speak through prayer, worship, and the reading of the Word. These three things are the foundation of the Christian life. But to answer your question, overall I would say the opportunity to better hear from God whatever way he chooses to speak.

When I was in college, I would go to my hometown for vacation. I fasted until noon for three days and God moved powerfully. I remember ministering in a church and I could feel God’s presence during the sermon and in worship. A few months ago while fasting, God led me to read a chapter in Ezekiel–Ezekiel 1. All of a sudden God allowed me to experience the glory of the Lord in that chapter. My spiritual eyes were open, and I could see wheels within wheels like Ezekiel was describing. It was like an explosion of fire. I can visualize it in my mind right now. I had never seen anything like it. That experience increased my confidence in the Lord and the power of God in my life.

If there are so many spiritual benefits to fasting, then why do so few Christians fast? Many Christians seem to think that fasting isn’t that important or something that only prophets and superheroes of the faith are called to do. What would you say to these people?

First of all, there are many reasons why Christians don’t fast. The first is spiritual laziness. Christians don’t want to read the Bible, pray, meditate, or worship. They don’t even want to go to church. I think technology is good, it’s helped get the message of Christianity out to the world, but it’s also a problem. People think they can substitute church attendance with a sermon on a computer. And I think that’s a mistake. The Bible says we should go to church because there’s power when we come together as a people to seek the Lord, praise the Lord, and hear from the Lord. Spiritual laziness is a problem, and it affects all spiritual activity not just fasting.

Another thing is incorrect belief. Many people have been taught that we don’t need to fight because Jesus paid everything on the cross. We don’t need to fast, we don’t need spiritual warfare, we don’t need to make sacrifices because Jesus did everything for us. And that’s simply not true. Jesus was asked why his disciples didn’t fast. He said there would be a day when he (the bridegroom) would be taken from his disciples (the bride), and his disciples would fast in those days. Those days began a long time ago. Jesus also said “When you fast, when you pray,” not “if” [Matthew 6:5-18]. So it’s our duty as Jesus’s disciples to seek his face in prayer and in fasting. Many Christians haven’t been taught that fasting is a normal, necessary part of the Christian life.

And the third thing is spiritual ignorance. The Bible says that the weapons of our warfare are not carnal [2 Corinthians 10:4]. They are spiritual. People who do not know how to use those weapons will fall. They will be destroyed by the enemy. So fasting is a spiritual weapon people have to learn how to use. I am a great believer. I believe in the power of fasting. I believe in the power of prayer. I believe in the power of giving. But I also know that I won’t solve every problem with fasting. I would compare fasting to an atomic bomb. But if I fast but continue to live in sin, God will never answer. I am wasting my time. So there has to be a balance in everything. Fasting is one of a number of weapons at the Christian’s disposal.

What other Scriptures would you cite to encourage Christians to fast?

There are examples in the Bible where fasting changed the will of God. Take the story of Jonah. God said he was going to destroy the city of Nineveh. And the king of that city repented and declared a national fast [Jonah 3]. It was God’s will to destroy Nineveh. But when the people repented with fasting, God relented.

Moses is another great example. Moses fasted twice for 40 days. The Bible says he didn’t eat or drink on the mountain when he was receiving the commandments from God. And Moses had an amazing relationship with God. The Bible says he spoke to God face-to-face, like a man speaks with his friend [Exodus 33:11]. Not everyone has the same calling as Moses, but everyone can reap the benefits of fasting.

I always say two things are free in the kingdom of heaven–one, salvation, and two, the gift of the Holy Spirit. They are for free. But if you want to conquer, if you want to see God’s promises fulfilled in your life, you have to fight. And fasting is a big weapon on the journey. In the Bible, God promised Israel a land, but they had to fight to possess it. It’s true that Jesus paid for everything on the cross, but we have to fight to possess it. Christians have this idea that Jesus is going to come and solve all their problems, but the reality is he has given us the tools so that we can take action.

What are some of the biggest challenges of fasting for spiritual benefits?

When I normally fast, I isolate myself from the world. I try not to talk too much on my phone. It’s a big challenge because technology can be a distraction. I also try to fast when I am not working, so I can focus on things like praying, worshiping, and reading the Bible. I know many people don’t have that luxury, so what I recommend while fasting is to spend time with God before going to work. And spend time with God during your work breaks.

Talk to me about breaking the fast. What’s going through your mind in that moment?

I like to break my fast with communion and prayer. At the end, I always feel that there is more. I feel that this is something I should definitely do again. As the Bible says in Psalms, “Deep calls out to deep.” [Psalms 42:7] I also meditate on the things things I accomplished during the fast. Issues the Lord brought to my attention, sometimes issues of the heart. And if the Lord gives me homework, I do the homework. Aside from that, make sure you eat something light so you don’t upset your stomach.

What parting words of advice would you give to Christians new to the discipline of fasting?

Jesus had to fast. And you are not better than Jesus, so you have to fast, too. As I mentioned before, Jesus said “When you fast, when you pray,” not “if.” It’s God’s will for you to fast, but follow the Holy Spirit’s guidance. Many people get excited at first and make plans to fast for 3 days, 7 days or 3 weeks but are unable to finish. Let the Holy Spirit lead you to decide the right timing and length, and He will give you the grace to finish.

Be prepared physically. If you’re doing a long fast, it’s smart to eat healthy in the days leading up. Prepare your mind as well. Before I fast, I communicate with myself, “The fast you are doing is an opportunity. Be ready to receive.” Fasting is not about going through the motions. Our readiness and level of expectancy will determine how much we receive from it.

Someone once said something interesting in the context of fasting. He said “Notice the first sin man committed was a sin of consumption.” Eating can become an idol in people’s hearts. They resort to food for comfort and satisfaction instead of God. Fasting is one of the surest ways to destroy this idol.

A shark in a fish tank will grow to be 8 inches, but in the ocean it will grow to 8 feet or more. A shark will never outgrow its environment and the same is true about you. Change your environment and watch your growth accelerate.

The journey to happiness involves finding the courage to go down into ourselves and take responsibility for what’s there: all of it.