Failure is built into the DNA of a great entrepreneur because they understand it and are able to manage through it.

I’ve made a point of periodically sharing quality music with an uplifting message that I think can enrich people’s lives. There’s so much sound pollution out there you really have to use a filter if you want to remain in the driver’s seat. Right now one of my favorite songs is “Brother” by Seneca, South Carolina-based, Grammy-award-winning band, NeedToBreathe. The song is about the love and loyalty of a brother. The song begins with the premise that we all need others we can depend on to help us weather life’s storms. The artist affirms his willingness to fulfill that role and be a rock of refuge for his brother. Whether the brother is a blood relationship or a close friend the message is one and the same: united we stand, divided we fall. You can find the complete lyrics (courtesy of Genius) and the music video down below. Enjoy.

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24

Lyrics:

[Verse 1: NEEDTOBREATHE]
Ramblers in the wilderness we can’t find what we need
We get a little restless from the searching
Get a little worn down in between
Like a bull chasing the matador is the man left to his own schemes
Everybody needs someone beside em’ shining like a lighthouse from the sea

[Chorus: NEEDTOBREATHE]
Brother, let me be your shelter
Never leave you all alone
I can be the one you call
When you’re low
Brother, let me be your fortress
When the night winds are driving on
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home

[Verse 2: Gavin Degraw]
Face down in the desert now there’s a cage locked around my heart
I found a way to drop the keys where my failures were
Now my hands can’t reach that far
I ain’t made for rivalry I could never take the world alone
I know that in my weakness I am strong
But it’s your love that brings me home

[Chorus: NEEDTOBREATHE]
Brother, let me be your shelter
Never leave you all alone
I can be the one you call
When you’re low
Brother, let me be your fortress
When the night wheels are driving on
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home

[Bridge: Gavin DeGraw]
And when you call
And need me near
Say it where’d you go
Brother, I’m right here
And on those days
When the sky begins to fall
You’re the blood of my blood
We can get through it all

[Chorus: NEEDTOBREATHE]
Brother, let me be your shelter
Never leave you all alone
I could be the one you call
When you’re feeling low
Brother, let me be your fortress
When the night wheels are driving on
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home
Brother, let me be your shelter
Never leave you all alone
I can be the one you call
When you’re low
Brother, let me be your fortress
When the night wheels are driving on
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home

If you have ever listened to an inspirational video on YouTube, there’s a good chance either Eric Thomas or Les Brown was the speaker. Occasionally, you’ll get lucky and both will feature on the same clip. If I had to summarize the focus of their talks with one word, that word would be adversity. Eric Thomas and Les Brown are no stranger to adversity. Thomas was a high school drop-out who spent two years on the streets of Detroit. Brown was given up for adoption at an early age and declared “educable mentally retarded” in grade school. I’ve transcribed a raw clip entitled “Through Hell” in which the two mega motivators talk about overcoming adversity and achieving one’s dreams.

Transcript:

Brown: It’s not easy. It’s hard changing your life.

Thomas: I’m talking about a problem in my life. For you I don’t know what it is, but that problem, you cannot ignore it. Why? It will not go away. It will not go away on its own. It will not. You won’t just wake up one day and it won’t be there anymore. It’s going to be there, and it will haunt you for the rest of your life. So I’m telling you from personal experience, deal with it. Deal with it.

And the sooner you deal with it, and the sooner you overcome it, the sooner you get your rewards, baby. The sooner you get on the other side of it, the sooner you begin to feel fulfillment. The sooner you get on the other side is self-actualization–your dreams become a reality. The sooner you get on the other side of the problem is a wealth of success. The sooner you deal with the fact that you have test anxiety–deal with it. It’s not the end of the world. Deal with it because when you deal with it you can create a solution for it and you can get over it. Deal with it. That you and your children don’t have the best relationship–deal with it.

Deal with the fact that you’re a procrastinator. Deal with the fact that it’s hard for you to execute. Deal with the fact that every time something happens you’re worried about it. Deal with the fact that you have this anxiety that every time you’re about to reach another level of success. Every time you’re about to go to another level, you feel overwhelmed. Deal with the fact that you’re struggling with your success, that you feel like why me? Or why not my sister? Why me? Why not other people? Deal with the fact that you feel guilty that you’re successful. Deal with it.

Brown: Ladies and gentlemen, I started working on my dream. And most people don’t work on their dreams, why? For many years I didn’t. One is because of fear. The fear of failure. What if things don’t work out? And the fear of success. What if they do work and I can’t handle it? The other thing is that most people, ladies and gentlemen, they get comfortable. They stop growing, they stop working on themselves, they stop stretching, they stop pushing themselves. And they end up becoming very cynical about life, and they throw in the towel on themselves, on their families, and on their dreams.

And the other thing is that most people don’t feel worthy. What I’m doing now I could have been doing years ago. But because I did not have a college education. Because I didn’t believe in myself. Because I allowed other people’s opinion of me to control my destiny I didn’t act on my ideas. And not only is it important for you to know it’s possible for you to choose your future, but it’s necessary that you work on yourself, that you develop yourself.

It’s necessary that you get the energy drainers out of your life–people who don’t want anything. People who are not striving. People who are not challenging themselves. People who aren’t growing. People who’ve stopped dreaming. It’s necessary that you align yourself with people and attract people into your business who are hungry. People who are unstoppable and unreasonable, people who are refusing to leave life just as it is. And who want more. My mother used to say “birds of a feather flock together.” If you run around with losers, you will end up a loser. It’s necessary that you get the losers out of your life if you want to live your dream.

The next step is that it’s you. That it’s you. That no one can do it for you but you. And even though you’ve faced disappointment. Even though you will experience some setbacks, it goes with the territory. You must understand that. What if all of us took that attitude after we’ve faced a rejection or a no? We have a meeting and no one shows up. Or somebody says “You can count on me,” and they don’t come through. What if we have that kind of attitude. The car’s repossessed. Nobody believes in you. You’ve lost again and again and again. The lights are cut off, but you’re still looking at your dream, reviewing it every day and saying to yourself, “It’s not over until I win.”

You are going to incur a lot of disappointment. A lot of failure. A lot of pain. A lot of setbacks. A lot of defeats. But in the process of doing that, you will discover some things about yourself that you don’t know right now. What you will realize is that you have greatness within you. What you will realize is that you’re more powerful than you can ever begin to imagine. What you will realize is that you are greater than your circumstances. That you don’t have to go through life being a victim.

What I like for you to do right now–I want you to think about your dream because I’m in a room full of dreamers. Think about your dream right now. I want you to think about it and envision it. Now ladies and gentlemen, let me share something with you. I do not believe that any of us has dreams that were not given to us for the purpose of accomplishing those particular dreams. And I want to share something with you that has changed my life. That dream that you’re holding in your mind, that it’s possible. See sometimes we can’t say “I can do that.” But what we can say is that it’s possible that I can have my dream as we run toward it.

As we work on it, day-in and day-out. It’s necessary to know that everybody won’t see it. That everybody won’t join you. That everybody won’t have the vision. It’s necessary to know that. That a lot of people like to complain but they don’t want to do anything about their situation. But you’re an uncommon breed. You know–you have to know within yourself that I can do this even if no one else sees it for me, I’m going to see it for myself. That’s necessary.

It’s also necessary, ladies and gentlemen, that you be creative when you’re working on your ideas. That you understand the importance of changing up. I can live my dream. It’s necessary. I’ll work on myself. Surround myself with winners. Become creative. It’s me. I got to make it happen. It’s not over until I win.

The Fire Must Never Go Out

I want to be in the arena. I want to be brave with my life. And when we make the choice to dare greatly, we sign up to get our asses kicked. We can choose courage or we can choose comfort, but we can’t have both. Not at the same time.

Everybody wants to be a warrior, but nobody in the 21st century really knows what that means. Toughness, as I’ve talked about in another article on this blog, is the essence of the warrior archetype. Toughness will look different in the domain of school than in the domains of sports, family, and work, but the basic concept remains the same. Toughness can be developed with various disciplines, three of which feature large on this blog–fitness, fasting, and meditation.

Another key to improve toughness is love. In fact, I would argue that every discipline seeks to increase love in one form or another, whether that be love of self, love of others, or love of the Creator. Love makes us tougher because it gives us something to fight for. How many parents are driven by a desire to give their children the best life possible? How many people refuse to give up because of their friends, family members, or significant other?

This observation is why I can appreciate the wisdom of the Lakota tribe on how to become a true warrior. At the core of their definition lies love for other people. Here is the transcript I created of a short video in which a Lakota elder articulates what it means to be a true warrior. You can find the video on YouTube embedded below.

Transcript: Being a warrior isn’t about taking lives. Being a warrior isn’t about showing strength. Being is a warrior is not showing how much knowledge you have. Being a warrior is learning how to cry. Learning how to cry because when a man learns how to cry, he’s learning understanding. He’s learning how to understand. Because when a man cries, compassion starts to grow. Being compassionate, loving all children, respecting everybody, and protecting your family.

Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is just show up.

If you’re not in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback.

David Goggins may be the least lazy human being on the planet. As a former Navy SEAL, world-recorder for most pull-ups in a 24-hour period, and guy who runs super marathons in his free time (100+ miles!), Goggins is uniquely qualified to feature in this article. To be sure, this is not his first feature, nor will it be his last. In another article, I shared my summary reading notes from his best-selling autobiography Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds. David Goggins is a beast of an athlete and as old school as they come. Today I’ve transcribed a YouTube clip in which he eschews all excuses and spurs on people to get after it — especially useful if we find ourselves today in need of motivation.

The most important conversation you will ever have in your life is the one you have with yourself. You wake up with it. You walk around with it. You go to bed with it. Eventually, you’re going to act on it, whether good or bad.

David Goggins

Transcript:

If you’re not wiling to go in there and face yourself, you’re not going to find anything. You’re going to live right here on surface, man, right here on surface. So if there is an ending to this world and there is somewhere to go, and there is a judgment. You’re going to get there and you might see a chart, and that chart may tell you who the f**k you should have been. And now you get the rest of your life to think about that. Man, I could have lived a much better life if I just would have suffered a little bit more. If I just would have realized that I had so much more but fear and the 40% and living here [lower level] versus living here [higher level]–being afraid–stopped me.

Your biggest enemy–the most important conversation you will ever have in your life is the one you have with yourself. You wake up with it. You walk around with it. You go to bed with it. Eventually, you’re going to act on it, whether good or bad. That’s why the whole thing about this book I have is about you. It is about you. It is strictly about you finding who you are. So many people die, live 100 years, never f**king know who they are. Never know who they are. You have to look in that mirror and know there’s so much more in here man. Because I can literally right now be a 300-pound guy spraying for cockroaches still to this day if I did not look in this mirror and say there has to be more to this. This can’t be it. And then be willing to go into it, dive deep into it, and give all I have to find it. So that’s what all that is about.

Let’s say there’s 10 people in this room. And we’re all mediocre. But I’m the best of the mediocre people. I now think I’m great. I’m great. We surround ourselves with people that make us feel great, that tell us what we want to hear. The second we put ourselves among the uncommon people, we don’t like that feeling. That challenge and feeling of that person that’s waking up at 3:30 in the morning saying,”Hey, put your s**t on, we’re going for a run.” We don’t like that challenge. We like that person who says “Hey, I don’t feel good today.” And they say “It’s OK, brother, take the day off. We’ll get a pizza and watch the game.”

We like that. We love that feeling. Why? Because you understand, man, we’re good bro. We don’t want motherf**kers like this who say “No, get your f**king s**t on, stop being a punk.” We don’t want that person constantly challenging our weaknesses. We want that person who’s constantly making us feel nice and good and secure in ourselves. That’s the mediocrity of life. We want to be the best among the average people.

People wonder how do you stay hungry all the time? Because after I accomplish something, I don’t sit back like a lot of guys who graduate BUDS [Navy SEAL training], who graduate this, graduate that. They get comfortable. They wonder why I’m getting weak, man. I lost my edge. What’s going on? Because once you hit the top of the f**king mountain, guess what happens? “I’m good!” So you wonder why you’re falling down now because once you reach the top of the mountain, you got to build a f**king ‘nother one. That’s mediocrity. There’s a lot of people in mediocrity who have a nice resume, but they’re one-timers man. They hit a one-time deal. They busted it open, got a lot of money, but they’re good. You’re mediocre now man. What are you f**king doing today, tomorrow, the next f**king day.

That’s why I don’t listen to theorists. I don’t listen to all that bulls**t. I listen to a motherf**ker who’s like this, man: “What’s wrong man?” “I’m f**king tired, dude.” “Why are you tired?” “Because tomorrow, I get to do the f**king s**t again, man. Whatever the s**t is that made me f**king nauseous and sick to my stomach, that made me hurt. There’s no ending!” And that’s the person I listen to. That’s the person who’s gained knowledge. You gain knowledge through suffering. And on the other end of suffering is a world that very few have ever seen. It’s a beautiful world because that’s where you find yourself.

You don’t find yourself in over here. You find yourself on the other end. Like the 100-mile race I was on where I ran it for 24-hours. I found myself on the other end of that f**king race. That 19-hours, I found “Wow, this is a whole ‘nother f**king world out here that I’ve never even [seen].” The world is in your mind! And that’s what all that mediocrity is about. The mind has the tactical advantage over you at all times. At all times of your life, the mind has the tactical advantage over you. It knows what you’re afraid of. It knows your insecurities. It knows your deep, dark lies. And it starts to push you away from that. It pushes you in the direction that is comfortable. The mind controls everything.

So what I realized was that when I was growing up and I was 300 pounds and I got all fat, and I got all insecure, I realized that my mind kept taking me in this direction. When things got uncomfortable to me, when I was facing my fears, my mind says “Oh, no. We have the tactical advantage. We need to get you, separate you, from this feeling.” Your life’s all about feelings. We want the happy feeling. We don’t want the feeling of this sucks. If, in that moment, you can answer those f**ked up questions, and you are now in charge of your brain versus your brain ruling you, that’s where all that stuff comes from. So the 40% rule is all of that. You get to 40%, your brain says “We’re done. Let’s roll.” This is starting to get painful. This is uncomfortable.

So you sit down. You have to figure out ways, and every body is different. We all have these things about, you know, five steps to this, and four steps to this. There’s a lot more than that. That’s all bulls**t. It’s a practice–it’s a habit. So if you know that at 40% I’m feeling pain. At 40% I’m feeling pain, that’s where the 40% rule kicks in. Now it starts. OK, I’m feeling pain. My mind is saying all this s**t to me. It’s saying get out of here. “Run. Flee.” The fight or flight kicks in. “OK, we’re done, we’re not good enough.” It starts telling you all these things. You start to believe it because the mind controls all.

This is the time where you have to gain control back of your mind and say OK, let me see if I can go 45%. Once you start giving yourself more and more and more hope and start realizing “[This is] OK.” The mind starts to think what are you doing? We’re supposed to be going right, and we’re going left. You start then controlling your mind. You start finding more in yourself. Then it goes from 40% to a lot further than that. That’s the start of it though. Get to the spot where your mind is saying stop. Wherever that is, you got to get there first. And that’s when that s**t starts to work for you. You got to control yourself in that moment.