If you scroll to the bottom of the page, you will notice that the ticker under “Blog Stats” gained another digit on the left. This week, the blog reached 350,000 total hits! I want to take this milestone as an opportunity to thank you for your support since this website kicked off — to everyone who’s read, shared, liked, and commented on articles. As a reminder, you can make your guest post submissions using the following link.

For the 50 most recent posts, click here. For the complete archive of articles, click here. You can also view all interviews or transcripts.

Let me know any ideas you have to make the site better. Drop a note in the comments or you can access the contact form here.

Next update will come at the one million mark.

For more on speed typing, see *NEW E-BOOK RELEASE* Be More Productive: Save 30 Minutes a Day by Learning The Art of Typing. Like most people in their mid-twenties, I’ve already spent thousands of hours on a computer. Typing out assignments in high school, undergraduate, and graduate school. Taking notes. Spending time on social media. Surfing the web. Working a computer job, for a period of time, and now blogging. Typing is simply the fastest, most reliable way to translate words to paper. But it is not equally fast for everyone. One of the easiest ways to save time and energy as a student, professional, or hobbyist whose job entails computer work is to increase your typing speed.

Here is a simple example to illustrate my point. A typical day for me as a student consisted of lectures for 2 and a half hours. An average note-taker might type up 3 pages of notes in this span. Let’s say you have assigned readings at home, and you type another 1 page of notes for those. In college, it is very typical to average around 2 pages of writing assignments a day, between response journals, essays, research papers, etc. Add another 1 page if you count edits. People do not typically submit the first word they type up for an assignment.

An average double-spaced page is around 250 words. That brings us to ~250(3) + 250(1) + 250(3)=1750 words.

Let’s say you spend time on the computer throughout the day, Googling things, talking to friends, and hanging out on forums/blogs. We’ll add in an extra 750 words for this miscellaneous activity, which I think is a reasonable number for many people. 1750 + 750 = 2,500 words, or ~10 pages total, in a day.

The average typist clocks in around 40 word per minute (wpm) according to Google. In my example, that means an average typist spends (2,500 /40)= ~63 minutes a day typing.

An advanced typist can get 80 wpm, whereas exceptionally fast ones can exceed 100 wpm. An advanced typist, in my example, would spend ~32 minutes (2,500/80) a day typing, whereas an exceptionally fast typist would spend spend ~25 minutes (2,500/100). That adds up to 30 minutes and 40 minutes of time savings a day, respectively, just by being faster at typing.

Depending on their job/lifestyle, some people will save less time than that, while others will save a lot more (bloggers, computer professionals, prolific social media users, etc.). 

How To Increase Your Typing Speed

In high school, touch typing (no-look, using all 10 fingers) was like a superpower. Before typing classes were offered, I took it upon myself to print out a chart, color-coded by key and finger. After several long, at times frustrating, weeks of studying the chart and practicing with the keyboard, I achieved my goal. Rule #1 of a fast wpm: Don’t look at the keyboard. If you’re still looking at the keyboard or typing with two fingers (tisk tisk), you should start by memorizing the keyboard layout.

What’s your wpm? You can test your speed for free at Typing.com. This week, I clocked in at 137 WPM with 100% accuracy on the 1-minute test [147 WPM with 99% accuracy is my all-time best on Typing.com.] Using the example above, at 137 WPM I would have saved ~45 minutes in a day. I screen-recorded myself completing the test on 11.24.21. Check out the video, which I have embedded down below!

MonkeyType has a shorter test (~30 seconds) that gives you a detailed breakdown of character counts. My personal record on MonkeyType is 165 WPM with 100% accuracy (see video from 5.28.23!). TypeRush.com is also a really fun website to hone your typing skills in competitive fashion. The test is less than a minute so it’s similarly easier to achieve top speeds. My personal best on TypeRush is 155.87 WPM.

Finally, 10FastFingers.com is another popular 1-minute test. Every 5 characters counts as a word, so if you type 100 characters that will count as 20 words, regardless of how many actual words you typed. My personal best on 10FastFingers is 156 WPM with 99% accuracy.

The world is currently transitioning out of the largest travel drought in a generation. The threat of contagion kept borders closed, airlines operating at fractional capacity, and billions of people cooped up in tight quarters for months on end. At one low point during the pandemic, airline index $JETS had shed nearly two thirds of its value. Many people wondered whether permanent damage had been done to an industry that was forecasted to achieve an approximate $1 trillion valuation by the end of the decade. Meanwhile, supply chain issues and shocks to supply-demand economics have caused the prices of new and used cars to soar. All things considered, the global transportation industry is recovering quite nicely, but with a caveat. It is not yet clear what long-term effect the rise of communication technologies like Zoom, WhatsApp, and Square will have on business and lifestyle. Will people value physical presence enough to spend time and money when a lot of social and work-related activities can, in theory, be accomplished remotely? Will better technology and more cushy home arrangements demotivate people from traveling to attend events, visit landmarks, and see the world in person? The answer to these questions, of course, is some measure of degree, not a binary yes-or-no. What is definitive is the fact that the world is evolving at an extremely fast clip relative to the rest of human history.

This week, I interviewed someone whose life uniquely intersects with some of the themes introduced in the previous paragraph, my brother Andrew Batarseh. Andrew is a foodie, a movie buff, and a rabid sports fan. Native to Columbus, Ohio, he currently works as an itinerant leadership consultant for a college fraternity. I hope you enjoy the following account of a 60-minute interview conducted over the phone. The subject matter is as personal as it is of general interest to travel aficionados and people otherwise experiencing unusually high levels of wanderlust. You can find Andrew on Instagram @_Batarseh, where he frequently publishes pictures and videos documenting his adventures.

 Wanderlust: a strong, innate desire to rove or travel about.

Dictionary.com

Tell the people a little about yourself. 

My name is Andrew Batarseh. I am from Columbus, Ohio. I graduated from Ohio State in December of 2020 with a degree in English. I work for a Christian social fraternity called Beta Upsilon Chi, colloquially pronounced as “Bucks,” like the football team, but spelled BYX. I got involved with the fraternity in college and was offered a job as a leadership consultant after graduation. The nature of my job consists of a lot of travel, relationship building, and phone calls.

I love food, cooking, and the culture around food. One of my favorite parts about traveling is the opportunity to try different foods. I love sports, as well. I grew up around them. It’s primarily football right now at this stage in my life. I’m also a big movie buff. I have my own movie rating system. I admit that I am a bit of a movie snob.

How did you decide on English? I don’t remember you talking much about it growing up.

I changed my major four times. I went from engineering, to two majors in pre-med, and then business. A series of indecision and unfortunate events led me to decide on English, so that I could graduate in 4 and a half years, and also develop a skill that I enjoy. I like writing. I think I’m fairly good at it. Overall, I would say that my choice of major has proven to be somewhat marketable.

What is it exactly that you do?

Practically, I travel to six different universities every semester. There are 35 total represented by our organization, and I am responsible for six of them. Once every semester, I consult with their officer team in person. I also develop relationships with the members of the chapter. I do things ranging from having fun and playing football, to solving problems that the brothers are having with one another. Overall, my job description is a wide spectrum of relationship development and problem-solving.

Aside from that, I coach. There are a handful of officer positions. I coach our vice presidents. The vice presidents plan parties and manage the social engagement of each chapter. I also coach treasurers and am responsible for our budget. We have a national philanthropy called Living Water, which builds wells in Rwanda. I facilitate relationships to support that effort. We have a campaign called 10 days, where for 10 days all of our members drink only water and donate the money they would have spent on drinking other beverages.

More people today are working remotely than ever. With technologies like Zoom and Google Meet, why is it necessary for you to go to these places in person? How do you see the trade-off between efficiency, on one hand, and depth and quality, on the other?

Very simply, human connection is most robust when face to face and tangible. As much as I would like to develop deep connection via Zoom, text, and phone calls with the 230 guys that I oversee, it’s just not possible. Technology is convenient, but it isn’t as realistic or effective as spending time with people in person.

People my age or younger are trained to engage with society through instant gratification via digital media. It’s so easy to send a text message. It’s so easy to scroll for news and highlights. People are starting to lose very basic, necessary social skills. I meet a lot of young men who struggle with communication, struggle with face-to-face interaction, and have social anxiety. It’s a serious problem. While technology can be great and necessary in the world we live in, we are starting to notice many of the drawbacks.

What I’m doing is almost counter-cultural to how a lot of people I know are used to engaging with the world. I don’t know if I would use the word spiritual, but the human soul needs to be present with others. It’s healthy for us in a way that I cannot fully explain. While I’m not technically well-versed on it, I know there are experts out there who can speak about it with more detail.

What have been some of your most memorable experiences in other states? 

Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Baton Rouge is the furthest thing from Ohio in the US that I have ever experienced. It feels like every event, especially football games, is one big party. Everything revolves around food, which in some ways is similar to the Middle Eastern culture that I grew up with. It’s very flamboyant and extravagant and exciting and colorful. It’s also swampy and humid down there, weather-wise, which I don’t like.

Baton Rouge has a really interesting and unique culture that was influenced by the French. Their buildings look French. Their food is French-inspired. I think they’re the only pocket of the US where that is truly the case. In some places in Louisiana, it feels like you’re flying to a different country.

I also went to a Death Valley football game [LSU college football]. Many people say it’s the best environment in college football. I biasedly disagree being an OSU fan and having worked for the team, but it was a very cool experience. 

Have you gotten the opportunity to travel international? 

I’ve been to Israel with BYX. I’ve been to Brazil and the Dominican Republic on mission trips as an undergrad. I also went to Jordan to visit family several years ago.

What is your favorite part about traveling for work?

In reference to what I said early, getting to try new local food is one of my more enjoyable experiences. I’m a big foodie. Before starting my current job, I worked for a year at a local restaurant called Third and Hollywood. I learned about mixology, i.e., the art of making cocktails. I learned a lot about beer and wine. I also learned a lot about food from being in that environment and directing questions to the head chef.

Do you have any aspirations to get more involved in the food world?  

I have some culinary aspirations that I’m still figuring out. I’m not sure if I want to go to culinary school, work at a good restaurant, or do restaurant management. However, I’m pretty sure that is the space I want to be in in the future. I now know so much about the back-end restaurant business, with answers to questions like “How much does it cost to bring in broccoli and Brussel sprouts?” “How do you make steak here?” I still need to pinpoint what it is exactly that I love about this industry, and what route I would need to take to get me where I want to go.

What is your least favorite part about traveling for work?

I love being at home, too. I am an introvert deep down. I recover alone, and when I’m traveling, it is very difficult to get that alone time to rest up. I’m always on the go. I’m always around people. I’m always, in a way, needing to perform, by asking good questions and being very present, emotionally and mentally. It really takes a toll. I come back home and am basically incapacitated for two days until I get some rest and alone time.

Are there any special opportunities that come with a job like this? 

This one will mainly just appeal to sports fans, but I’ve been able to see a lot of college football games in person. I’ve seen a Georgia football game, an LSU football game, and an Oklahoma State football game. I would never casually fly to one of these places just to see one of these games, but being there in person with the guys from the fraternity enables me to do that. All of my college visits are planned, and football lately has been a part of that plan.

What about special challenges or temptations that accompany travel? 

It’s rare that I get a night of sleep with more than six hours in a comfortable location. Over a weeklong visit, that deficit can really add up. I don’t sleep in a hotel. I stay with the members of the organization. I’m typically sleeping on their couch or on an air mattress, or some other random location in their living room. I’m very grateful for it, but, in reality, it is a difficult place to get quality sleep. Sleep is the biggest practical/logistical challenge. Other than that, all of my expenses are covered. The only thing I need to do is make sure I am remaining within the budget for a visit. Not spending too much money on food—food is one of my biggest expenses—but I would say it’s really not that hard.

As far as temptation, the number one way it comes is when I’m really exhausted and looking for some sort of relief or distraction. The Christian guys I stay with on campus are a kind of accountability, but also the staff. There are five guys who do my role total, and we talk weekly about topics just like this one. So, on a regular basis, I’m talking with guys who understand what it’s like to visit a chapter in another state. They are the ones asking the difficult questions and making sure I keep my mental, spiritual, and emotional health a priority. There are people looking after me, and people I am looking after, as well.

You were born and raised in Central Ohio. You talked about your perception of Baton Rouge. How do some of the other places you’ve been to compare to the Buckeye State? 

People talk a little bit differently down south. The food they eat is a little bit different. I haven’t been to a city as big as Columbus yet, so size. Texas, Louisiana, Oklahoma, Georgia—they all have a little bit of a southern twist to them. Texas is very dry. Ohio is very humid. I could list more differences, but I will end with this statement: every time I go and visit a new place I tend to appreciate Columbus a little more afterwards.

In the intro, you self-identified as a movie buff with a proprietary system for rating movies. What’s that all about?  

Basically, I rate every movie that I watch. The scale is divided into several categories, including acting, dialogue, cinematography, and sound. There’s about 10 to 12 categories total. Each category is weighted differently based on how much I value that set element of the movie. For example, acting and plot are my two heaviest categories. And then sound and cinematography make up the second tier. Each category has its own point criteria, and I’ll grade the movie based on all of these different variables. The most total points you can receive is 100.

The highest movie I’ve rated so far is a movie called Sound of Metal. It’s a movie about the journey of a heavy metal drummer who loses his hearing. I won’t say anything more about the movie because I recommend everyone reading this go and watch it. But it has a 92 overall, so it’s a pretty strict scale I have going on. Goodfellows is another 90. It’s a Martin Scorsese mafia movie. And then there’s Parasite, a Korean film by Bong Joon-ho. 91. That one is about a Korean family who is struggling in the economy and decides to get a job at a wealthy family’s house. There’s a really fun twist that I won’t disclose because you should go see it. The lowest score I’ve ever given is Good Morning Vietnam. 48. That movie didn’t age well.

To my mind, movies are not a very social activity. I think it’s noteworthy that someone with your active lifestyle would take them up as a hobby. What effect do movies have on your life? Do you see movies as a kind of complement or counterbalance?

I used to play way too much video games. Now I don’t play them nearly at all. It was an unhealthy form of escapism. As I’ve matured, movies have turned into something that I can enjoy with an appropriate amount of time. They help me to get my alone time and to experience and reflect on a world outside of my own.

My closest friends are just as in to movies as I am. Counter to your anti-social point, movies can be a very social experience for my friend group. We’ll watch a two-hour movie, and then spend just as much time talking about it afterwards. The movies become a part of our lingo. They become a part of the jokes we make. We have art on the walls from the movies we like. Movies are a big part of the fabric of our culture together.

What is one place, domestic or international, that you haven’t been to but would like to visit? 

Iceland. In the summer, when you can see the northern lights. They have beautiful green landscapes and really comfortable summer weather. I bet their cuisine is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. I also haven’t been to Europe–so I would pick Iceland for those reasons. The answer changes every month, but that is my answer right now.

Any pro tips or words of wisdom for living life on-the-go? Are there any special rules you follow or rituals you practice? 

I always keep my room really clean so that when I come home from travel I have an immediately restful space. As soon as I get home from travel, I immediately unpack and do laundry. Having that out the way frees up my physical and mental space so I can rest up and get back to my normal routine faster. I have white noise downloaded for the plane so that I can easily sleep. When I’m planning my visits, I don’t schedule anything past 11 PM and nothing before 9 AM. This enables me to have some sort of a morning routine and gives me a better chance at getting decent sleep. I also don’t overschedule to reserve space for when things inevitably come up or when some of the things I’m involved in take longer than expected.

I will add that this is something I want to develop more in. I’ve been living this lifestyle for maybe a year, and I’m still figuring out what processes are most effective for me to perform well.

I’m going to ask you several questions in quick succession. You can limit your answers to no more than a few sentences.

What airline do you fly?

American Airlines, and I am a proud elite member.

Favorite city you’ve been to?
Austin, Texas.

Car you drive?

I drive a silver 2018 Mazda 3. I fly to all of the chapters, except Indiana University, which is about a 4-hour drive. 

Favorite podcast for the road?

I’ll occasionally throw on an episode of the Joe Rogan podcast.   

State with the worst drivers?

Columbus.

State with the best natural scenery?

Colorado.

Favorite quote or life motto?

Recently, it’s Proverbs 25:2, “It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out.”

Top three favorite national cuisines? 

In no particular order, Korean, Mediterranean, more specifically Middle Eastern, and probably Japanese.

What’s next on the itinerary for you, both as it relates to your work and private life?

The job I have is a two-year contract. In the meantime, I’ll continue to learn how to improve at my job and also in my personal life. There’s a strong correlation between personal growth and professional growth in the space that I’m in right now, which is pretty cool. I’m not making many plans outside of that. I’m not seeking a dating relationship or my next job right now. I’m just really focused on the present. I think next fall is when I’ll start considering more of the next steps for when I’m done with this phase of my life.

When you unite, anything is possible.

I’ve spent the last odd week glued to my phone. Keeping current on stock charts, r/wallstreetbets, Twitter, CNBC, and text chains with family and friends was a full-time occupation. I’ve been following the markets for years, and never have I been more riveted on what was going on. And never have I witnessed a market event garner this much attention from a diverse collection of personalities, ranging from politicians AOC, Ro Khanna, and Ted Cruz, to talking heads Chris Cuomo, Trevor Noah, and Tucker Carlson, to investing types Dave Portnoy, Mark Cuban, and Chamath. One thing is for certain and no matter what happens next week: the game of investing will never be the same again. 

I’m not going to explain here what a short squeeze is and how the rapid surge in $GME (GameStop stock ticker) triggered what may be the greatest short squeeze of all time. (A simple Google search has you covered). Nor am I going to explain how the rapid surge in other tickers like $AMC (movie theater), $NOK (Nokia), and $BB (BlackBerry) had a similar effect that prompted hedgefunds like Citadel and Melvin Capital to cover shorts and eat billions of dollars in losses, and was likely behind a 1,000 point dip in the S&P 500.

Had Robinhood CEO, Vladimir Tenev, and company not unexpectedly (and, to my mind, unfairly and unjustifiably) halted buying of these stocks on Thursday, January 28th, and limited the amount of shares that could be bought on Friday, January 29th, the effect would have been even more pronounced. Robinhood effectively crashed (temporarily) the price of these stocks, costing their retail customers millions of dollars and enabling billionaire hedgefunds like Citadel, with whom they also do business, to exit positions at a more favorable price point. The irony of the name Robinhood has not been lost on anyone. Whether the brokerage ever recovers, class action lawsuits aside, from what many of its users interpret as an epic scandal, and “the worst business decision of all time,” remains to be seen. 

It’s very clear that @RobinhoodAPP and Hedge Funds like Citadel are saying we’ll take our chances with class action lawsuits and white collar crimes and paying people off to stay out of prison rather than their firms going bankrupt #DDTG. . . The thing that drives myself and so many people nuts is this belief that when this is over guys like Ken Griffin from Citadel Gabriel Plotkin from Melvin, Steve Cohen, and Vlad will be at some secret country club laughing at all of us. And deep down we know we are right. #DDTG.

Dave Portnoy, Founder of Barstool sports, who owns stock in nokia and amc. this week he became a voice for retail investors through his many viral tweets and media appearances.

The short squeezes took a coordinated effort, organized primarily on Reddit’s r/ wallstreetbets forum, on the part of tens of thousands of small cap retail investors. While many people were first introduced to the forum this week, which now boasts of millions of subscribers, the reality is Reddit had been planning the squeeze for months in a bid to save GameStop and make Wall Street pay for its greedy, dubious short-selling practices (link). This week marked the first time retail investors managed to radically drive market momentum in an event that is likely to trigger permanent changes in the way hedgefunds and institutions invest their money, and engender new SEC regulations governing markets.

I got to say I LOVE LOVE what is going on with #wallstreetbets. All of those years of High Frequency Traders front running retail traders, now speed and density of information and retail trading is giving the little guy an edge. Even my 11 yr old traded w them and made $. . . Why does Wall Street have such an advantage over the little guy? The SEC. SEC doesn’t follow laws. They have legal precedents. Which means they can sue you knowing you have no financial ability to fight back. As can Wall St. SEC protects no one but the jobs of their own lawyers. . . They [the SEC] could be very clear about what is allowed and what isn’t but they won’t. Why ? Because their entire workforce is built on lawyers who want to Litigate to Regulate. They don’t want clear delineation. They want to sue. They want to intimidate.

Shark Mark Cuban, owner of the dallas mavericks, adding his two cents to the theme this week on twitter.

Top-down enforcement of rules against naked shorting and other leveraged instruments (e.g. effectively capping short interest somewhere below 100%), and voluntary portfolio hedging measures are a likely outcome of this debacle. Billionaire Mark Cuban, for example, said on CNBC this week that he “hedged the hec out of [his] portfolio” to protect himself against unpredictable momentum moves like this in the future. All wise investors will follow suit, and short investors will think long and hard before placing their bets in the future. It is the end of an era, and the beginning of a new, less predictable one with multiple centers of power and less institutional domination.

Facebook and @RobinhoodApp are the same: They both trick you into thinking you are the customer. But, in fact, you are the product and your data is the asset. These assets are then sold to their true customers who pay them money and always at your expense. STOP BEING TRICKED! . . . All the money in 2008 was made by suits identifying a market dislocation and exploiting it. All the money in 2021 was made by retail identifying a market dislocation and exploiting it. . . until the suits intervened. . .In moments of uncertainty, when courage and strength are required, you find out who the true corporatist scumbags are.

Chamath Palihapitiya, CEO of Social Capital, who published these viral tweets and became a spokesman for retail investors.

The GameStop saga is so fascinating because it features the intersection of multiple sociopolitical and cultural dynamics. There’s traditional Wall Street / institutional investors versus Main Street / retail investors (IE “big money” versus “small money”). Or “class warfare” framed in more conventional, adversarial terms. There’s also the rise of the internet and online communities as a catalyst for social change. This second dynamic was epitomized by the numbers of r/wallstreetbets users and cooperatives who loyally held their holdings in $GME and $AMC, and added to their positions, all the while mainstream powers were doing everything in their power to create selling pressure.

Take the home run. Don’t go for the grand slam. Take the home run. You’ve already won. You’ve won the game.

Jim Cramer, on CNBC’s “squawk on the street” the morning of 1.29.2021.

“Diamond hand or bust” became the mantra, in a testament to the resolve of many retail investors to ignore the advice of Jim Cramer and company (the high-energy host of Mad Money, who is widely considered an ally of ordinary investors) by holding at all costs, and refusing to take profits or panic sell. Documentaries, theses, PhDs, TV shows, criminal investigations, dramatic anecdotes, and countless articles like this one will spring from this. The GameStop Saga is one of the most significant market events to ever transpire and a fascinating legacy of the Covid-19 pandemic, which saw massive growth in retail investing and online communities. 

Motivation on r/wallstreetbets ranged from punishing Wall Street and “sticking it to the man” for exploiting the public for decades, community solidarity, and simply making $. While next week will dictate whether it was a grand slam or simply a homerun, one thing is for sure: the Redditors and the retail investors won. And they won by a landslide.

What is your biggest takeaway from the events that transpired this week? 

Today I want to share an article I wrote for another blog a few weeks back on a topic I have grown a lot in over the years: mindfulness. One of the biggest challenges we face in a 21st century dominated by progressive values is staying grounded in the present moment. In my experience, the journey is more important than the destination. It’s where we spend most of our lives. And when we achieve one goal or reach one destination, we typically just replace it with another. One of my daily resolutions is to stay grounded in the here and now, not some phantom past or imaginary future. See the complete article here. Do you agree with my basic proposition?

The world is more connected now than ever before. Within seconds we can get in touch with people from different cities, states, countries, and continents. Some of us even use technology to communicate with people in our own home. It’s rare to go an entire hour without checking one’s phone, and even more rare to prefer ordinary conversation over text-messaging. Most of us, however, can identify a trade-off between quantity and quality of relationships. The more connected we are, the emptier we seem to be on the inside. Anti-social media and constant connection with the masses keeps people from forming the few deep relationships that are vital to emotional health.

Sherry Turkle is a Harvard PhD in Sociology and Personality Psychology and teaches at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Turkle has studied the impact of technology on human relationships since the topic first became relevant. In 2011, she published Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other.

Turkle recently gave a Ted Talk that has garnered over 5 million views in which she elaborated on these themes. If I had to summarize it in one sentence, I would borrow the following quote: And what I’ve found is that our little devices, those little devices in our pockets, are so psychologically powerful that they don’t only change what we do, they change who we are.

Check out the complete transcript of the talk, which I have reposted with permission from Ted!

Transcript:

Just a moment ago, my daughter Rebecca texted me for good luck. Her text said, “Mom, you will rock.” I love this. Getting that text was like getting a hug. And so there you have it. I embody the central paradox. I’m a woman who loves getting texts who’s going to tell you that too many of them can be a problem.

Actually that reminder of my daughter brings me to the beginning of my story. 1996, when I gave my first TEDTalk, Rebecca was five years old and she was sitting right there in the front row. I had just written a book that celebrated our life on the internet and I was about to be on the cover of Wired magazine. In those heady days, we were experimenting with chat rooms and online virtual communities. We were exploring different aspects of ourselves. And then we unplugged. I was excited. And, as a psychologist, what excited me most was the idea that we would use what we learned in the virtual world about ourselves, about our identity, to live better lives in the real world.

Now fast-forward to 2012. I’m back here on the TED stage again. My daughter’s 20. She’s a college student. She sleeps with her cellphone, so do I. And I’ve just written a new book, but this time it’s not one that will get me on the cover of Wired magazine. So what happened? I’m still excited by technology, but I believe, and I’m here to make the case, that we’re letting it take us places that we don’t want to go.

Over the past 15 years, I’ve studied technologies of mobile communication and I’ve interviewed hundreds and hundreds of people, young and old, about their plugged in lives. And what I’ve found is that our little devices, those little devices in our pockets, are so psychologically powerful that they don’t only change what we do, they change who we are. Some of the things we do now with our devices are things that, only a few years ago, we would have found odd or disturbing, but they’ve quickly come to seem familiar, just how we do things.

So just to take some quick examples: People text or do email during corporate board meetings. They text and shop and go on Facebook during classes, during presentations, actually during all meetings. People talk to me about the important new skill of making eye contact while you’re texting. (Laughter) People explain to me that it’s hard, but that it can be done. Parents text and do email at breakfast and at dinner while their children complain about not having their parents’ full attention. But then these same children deny each other their full attention. This is a recent shot of my daughter and her friends being together while not being together. And we even text at funerals. I study this. We remove ourselves from our grief or from our reverie and we go into our phones.

Why does this matter? It matters to me because I think we’re setting ourselves up for trouble — trouble certainly in how we relate to each other, but also trouble in how we relate to ourselves and our capacity for self-reflection. We’re getting used to a new way of being alone together. People want to be with each other, but also elsewhere — connected to all the different places they want to be. People want to customize their lives. They want to go in and out of all the places they are because the thing that matters most to them is control over where they put their attention. So you want to go to that board meeting, but you only want to pay attention to the bits that interest you. And some people think that’s a good thing. But you can end up hiding from each other, even as we’re all constantly connected to each other.

A 50-year-old business man lamented to me that he feels he doesn’t have colleagues anymore at work. When he goes to work, he doesn’t stop by to talk to anybody, he doesn’t call. And he says he doesn’t want to interrupt his colleagues because, he says, “They’re too busy on their email.” But then he stops himself and he says, “You know, I’m not telling you the truth. I’m the one who doesn’t want to be interrupted. I think I should want to, but actually I’d rather just do things on my Blackberry.”

Across the generations, I see that people can’t get enough of each other, if and only if they can have each other at a distance, in amounts they can control. I call it the Goldilocks effect: not too close, not too far, just right. But what might feel just right for that middle-aged executive can be a problem for an adolescent who needs to develop face-to-face relationships. An 18-year-old boy who uses texting for almost everything says to me wistfully, “Someday, someday, but certainly not now, I’d like to learn how to have a conversation.”

When I ask people “What’s wrong with having a conversation?” People say, “I’ll tell you what’s wrong with having a conversation. It takes place in real time and you can’t control what you’re going to say.” So that’s the bottom line. Texting, email, posting, all of these things let us present the self as we want to be. We get to edit, and that means we get to delete, and that means we get to retouch, the face, the voice, the flesh, the body — not too little, not too much, just right.

Human relationships are rich and they’re messy and they’re demanding. And we clean them up with technology. And when we do, one of the things that can happen is that we sacrifice conversation for mere connection. We short-change ourselves. And over time, we seem to forget this, or we seem to stop caring.

I was caught off guard when Stephen Colbert asked me a profound question, a profound question. He said, “Don’t all those little tweets, don’t all those little sips of online communication, add up to one big gulp of real conversation?” My answer was no, they don’t add up. Connecting in sips may work for gathering discrete bits of information, they may work for saying, “I’m thinking about you,” or even for saying, “I love you,” — I mean, look at how I felt when I got that text from my daughter — but they don’t really work for learning about each other, for really coming to know and understand each other. And we use conversations with each other to learn how to have conversations with ourselves. So a flight from conversation can really matter because it can compromise our capacity for self-reflection. For kids growing up, that skill is the bedrock of development.

Over and over I hear, “I would rather text than talk.” And what I’m seeing is that people get so used to being short-changed out of real conversation, so used to getting by with less, that they’ve become almost willing to dispense with people altogether. So for example, many people share with me this wish, that some day a more advanced version of Siri, the digital assistant on Apple’s iPhone, will be more like a best friend, someone who will listen when others won’t. I believe this wish reflects a painful truth that I’ve learned in the past 15 years. That feeling that no one is listening to me is very important in our relationships with technology. That’s why it’s so appealing to have a Facebook page or a Twitter feed — so many automatic listeners. And the feeling that no one is listening to me make us want to spend time with machines that seem to care about us.

We’re developing robots, they call them sociable robots, that are specifically designed to be companions — to the elderly, to our children, to us. Have we so lost confidence that we will be there for each other? During my research I worked in nursing homes, and I brought in these sociable robots that were designed to give the elderly the feeling that they were understood. And one day I came in and a woman who had lost a child was talking to a robot in the shape of a baby seal. It seemed to be looking in her eyes. It seemed to be following the conversation. It comforted her. And many people found this amazing.

But that woman was trying to make sense of her life with a machine that had no experience of the arc of a human life. That robot put on a great show. And we’re vulnerable. People experience pretend empathy as though it were the real thing. So during that moment when that woman was experiencing that pretend empathy, I was thinking, “That robot can’t empathize. It doesn’t face death. It doesn’t know life.”

And as that woman took comfort in her robot companion, I didn’t find it amazing; I found it one of the most wrenching, complicated moments in my 15 years of work. But when I stepped back, I felt myself at the cold, hard center of a perfect storm. We expect more from technology and less from each other. And I ask myself, “Why have things come to this?”

And I believe it’s because technology appeals to us most where we are most vulnerable. And we are vulnerable. We’re lonely, but we’re afraid of intimacy. And so from social networks to sociable robots, we’re designing technologies that will give us the illusion of companionship without the demands of friendship. We turn to technology to help us feel connected in ways we can comfortably control. But we’re not so comfortable. We are not so much in control.

These days, those phones in our pockets are changing our minds and hearts because they offer us three gratifying fantasies. One, that we can put our attention wherever we want it to be; two, that we will always be heard; and three, that we will never have to be alone. And that third idea, that we will never have to be alone, is central to changing our psyches. Because the moment that people are alone, even for a few seconds, they become anxious, they panic, they fidget, they reach for a device. Just think of people at a checkout line or at a red light. Being alone feels like a problem that needs to be solved. And so people try to solve it by connecting. But here, connection is more like a symptom than a cure. It expresses, but it doesn’t solve, an underlying problem. But more than a symptom, constant connection is changing the way people think of themselves. It’s shaping a new way of being.

The best way to describe it is, I share therefore I am. We use technology to define ourselves by sharing our thoughts and feelings even as we’re having them. So before it was: I have a feeling, I want to make a call. Now it’s: I want to have a feeling, I need to send a text. The problem with this new regime of “I share therefore I am” is that, if we don’t have connection, we don’t feel like ourselves. We almost don’t feel ourselves. So what do we do? We connect more and more. But in the process, we set ourselves up to be isolated.

How do you get from connection to isolation? You end up isolated if you don’t cultivate the capacity for solitude, the ability to be separate, to gather yourself. Solitude is where you find yourself so that you can reach out to other people and form real attachments. When we don’t have the capacity for solitude, we turn to other people in order to feel less anxious or in order to feel alive. When this happens, we’re not able to appreciate who they are. It’s as though we’re using them as spare parts to support our fragile sense of self. We slip into thinking that always being connected is going to make us feel less alone. But we’re at risk, because actually it’s the opposite that’s true. If we’re not able to be alone, we’re going to be more lonely. And if we don’t teach our children to be alone, they’re only going to know how to be lonely.

When I spoke at TED in 1996, reporting on my studies of the early virtual communities, I said, “Those who make the most of their lives on the screen come to it in a spirit of self-reflection.” And that’s what I’m calling for here, now: reflection and, more than that, a conversation about where our current use of technology may be taking us, what it might be costing us. We’re smitten with technology. And we’re afraid, like young lovers, that too much talking might spoil the romance. But it’s time to talk. We grew up with digital technology and so we see it as all grown up. But it’s not, it’s early days. There’s plenty of time for us to reconsider how we use it, how we build it. I’m not suggesting that we turn away from our devices, just that we develop a more self-aware relationship with them, with each other and with ourselves.

I see some first steps. Start thinking of solitude as a good thing. Make room for it. Find ways to demonstrate this as a value to your children. Create sacred spaces at home — the kitchen, the dining room — and reclaim them for conversation. Do the same thing at work. At work, we’re so busy communicating that we often don’t have time to think, we don’t have time to talk, about the things that really matter. Change that. Most important, we all really need to listen to each other, including to the boring bits. Because it’s when we stumble or hesitate or lose our words that we reveal ourselves to each other.

Technology is making a bid to redefine human connection — how we care for each other, how we care for ourselves — but it’s also giving us the opportunity to affirm our values and our direction. I’m optimistic. We have everything we need to start. We have each other. And we have the greatest chance of success if we recognize our vulnerability. That we listen when technology says it will take something complicated and promises something simpler.

So in my work, I hear that life is hard, relationships are filled with risk. And then there’s technology — simpler, hopeful, optimistic, ever-young. It’s like calling in the cavalry. An ad campaign promises that online and with avatars, you can “Finally, love your friends love your body, love your life, online and with avatars.” We’re drawn to virtual romance, to computer games that seem like worlds, to the idea that robots, robots, will someday be our true companions. We spend an evening on the social network instead of going to the pub with friends.

But our fantasies of substitution have cost us. Now we all need to focus on the many, many ways technology can lead us back to our real lives, our own bodies, our own communities, our own politics, our own planet. They need us. Let’s talk about how we can use digital technology, the technology of our dreams, to make this life the life we can love.

Thank you.

Hey all. I wanted to briefly introduce a new feature I installed this afternoon. You may have noticed some fun emoji-looking icons in the top left of the site header. These are for ease of navigation to various parts of the site. They may change in the near future, but here is quick run-down of what each icon does. As always, let me know any feedback you might and/or suggestions for new quick links. FYI, the icons may not be visible in the WordPress Reader. Visit the blog using a regular browser for full functionality.

Creator Villa Icon Navigation Links:

This thumbnail takes you to the Follow Creator Villa page where you can subscribe to the site via Word Press Reader or e-mail.

This thumbnail takes you to the CL 50 Most Recent Posts Page.

This thumbnail takes you to the Quote of the Day Section. I have removed Quotes from the Education tab to keep it from getting flooded.

This thumbnail takes you to the Word of the Day section. Like Quotes, I have removed Words from the Education tab to keep it from getting flooded.

This thumbnail takes you to the Contact Creator Villa form for all questions, comments/concerns as well as guest post submissions.

This thumbnail takes you to the live chatroom where you dialogue with other people on the blog.

This thumbnail takes you to the Creator Villa Archives, where you can view articles by month as well as a list of all articles ever published on the site (excluding Word of the Day and Quote of the Day).

This thumbnail takes you to the About Creator Villa page to get a better understanding of what this website is about.

Enjoy!

Today I want to share one of my few style experiments that I would label a success. I’m a pretty simple guy and don’t spend a lot of time accessorizing. If the car runs, then it’s good by me. But an item on Amazon caught my attention that looked like it could add value to my Honda Civic. And by value I mean the satisfaction I get by looking at the car and the additional cleanliness of an extra layer. Judge for yourself down below, but I’m happy with the end result.

Seat covers cover existing stains on the surface of the seats, prevent future stains, and add style and comfort. I have several unsightly stains from passengers eating and drinking, and now my interior looks brand new. And a lot of people commented on how much cooler the car looks after the installation. I bought my seat covers on Amazon from a company called PIC AUTO. Since my purchase, they’ve come out with a new universal design. I chose PIC AUTO because I liked the price, it had a 4+ star rating, and it was easy to put together. Assembly took about 30 minutes with the help of my brother, and neither of is a handyman. The universal design fit my Civic perfectly and they say it is built to accommodate most cars, SUVs and trucks. (UPDATE: It looks like they got rid of the mesh fabric universal fit in the red and black. The red and black is available in leather and the blue and black is available in fabric mesh.)

Here’s a link to the red and black variety as seen in the featured image. PIC AUTO Universal Fit Full Set Mesh and Leather Car Seat Cover(Red). They also offer Red, Gray, Dark Blue, Light Blue, and Beige (clickable links below). Make sure you check out the before & afters of my car down below.

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Before & Afters:

You don’t need a lot of equipment to make major gains in the gym. If you don’t believe me, watch the 300. It can certainly be motivating to have somewhere to go to where other people are striving to reach the same goals. I have a membership at a local gym. But the fact is that anyone can get swoll from the comfort of their own home. Let’s be real–most people who lift weights are in it for the upper body. That’s what people see. That’s what people like. There are a lot of good reasons for lifting legs, but I won’t get into those now. If you want a muscular, shredded upper body, then there’s only one piece of equipment you need: a push-up/pull-up bar. If the treadmill is king of cardio, then the push-up/pull-up bar is king of upper body.

Pull-ups as pictured on the right target biceps, back, chest, and shoulders–four of the most visible muscle groups. Pull-ups also work the abdominal muscle. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve woken up with sore abs from a pull-up routine. You can also turn your hands around so that your palms are facing you instead of facing away from you. This variation of the pull-up is called the chin-up. I’ve found that it works approximately the same muscles as the traditional pull-up with a little more stress on the biceps. In my experience, it’s easier to bang out more reps doing the chin-up variety. Pull-ups, it follows, are a complete upper-body experience. If you did nothing but pull-ups, and you did enough of them, you’d be jacked in no time.

Push-ups are by far the most popular upper-body exercise known to mankind. Push-ups work chest, triceps, shoulders, and abs. Unlike pull-ups, push-ups are something you can reasonably do with zero equipment. However, having a push-up bar can be extremely useful. A bar adds resistance by enabling you to go deeper down where the ground would otherwise stop you. With no equipment, I can easily bang out 50-70 push-ups. When doing this many reps, it takes a relatively long time to tire out the muscles enough where real growth takes place. Most bodybuilders swear by the 8-16 rep-range for optimal muscle volume. Having a push-up bar can be very useful for anyone already capable of doing more than 10 reps with no equipment. If that’s not already you, it will be within a few weeks of beginning a push-up routine.

I’ve used one push-up/pull-up bar for the last 4 years. You can get it at Amazon on the cheap: Iron Gym Total Upper Body Workout Bar. Apparently, you can also use the bar to do crunches and dips, although I’ve only ever used it for push-ups and pull-ups. Iron Gym hasn’t modified their product at all in 4 years, and I don’t think they’ll ever need to. The nice thing about the workout bar is you can modify your grip rather easily. I like rotating between wide-, narrow-, and straight-grip pull-ups and push-ups for maximum adaptability. I also like doing push-ups with my feet on an incline (a sofa or bed) for increased resistance. Exercise common sense.

Take a look at some photos I took of the equipment. As you can see, there is some wear on the grip being as old as it is. It still works perfectly fine, and I probably won’t buy a new one for a while. Good luck and happy gains.

My Iron Gym Workout Bar: